The comic adventures of a checkout girl turned trainee vampire.

Sulky Goth Eloise hates her life, Monday mornings and her dreary job as a Co-op sales assistant. She’s always felt like an outsider, but as her 21st birthday approaches, she starts to wonder if she’s going mad. She can’t sleep, the sun hurts her skin, she’s plagued by nightmares and she has an insatiable craving for blood – and worst of all, she seems to be allergic to garlic bread.

Then her Transylvanian Aunt Lucretia reveals that she’s a vampire, and suddenly it all makes sense. She’s happier than she’s ever been: but there are still a few hurdles to overcome. Before she can fulfil her destiny, she must study for a GCSE in vampirism – and teacher Lucretia is tough. She also needs to keep her secret from her boyfriend Wayne, best mate Debbie and manager Mr Jenkins; survive the staff outing to the blood donation centre; and find a way to sample her boss’s extremely rare, extremely tasty ‘Bombay blood’. And when she turns Lucretia’s castle into a love shack while her aunt’s away, she finds herself facing danger...

Starring Louise Lombard as Eloise and Joanna Kanska as Lucretia, this light-hearted comedy drama will delight fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and What We Do In the Shadows. It’s a sitcom you can really get your teeth into...

Production credits

Written by Joe Turner

Produced by Liz Anstee

Cast

Eloise – Louise Lombard

Lucretia – Joanna Kanska

Wayne – William Ivory

Debbie – Jane Hazlegrove

Mr Jenkins – Fine Time Fontayne

With Linda Polan and Steve Hodson

First broadcast BBC Radio 5, 29 October-3 December 1993