In the great tradition of David Sedaris, David Rakoff, and Augusten Burroughs, memoirist Eric Poole recounts his quirky childhood years in utterly hilarious and painful detail.  

In 1977, Eric Poole is a talented high school trumpet player with one working ear, the height-to-weight ratio of a hat rack, a series of annoyingly handsome bullies, and a mother irrationally devoted to Lemon Pledge. But who he wants to be is a star…ANY star. With equal parts imagination, flair, and delusion, Eric proceeds to emulate a series of his favorite celebrities, like Barry Manilow, Halston, Tommy Tune, and Shirley MacLaine, in an effort to become the man he’s meant to be - that is, anyone but himself.  

As he moves through his late teens and early 20s in suburban St. Louis, he casts about for an appropriate outlet for his talents. Will he be a trumpet soloist? A triple-threat actor/singer/dancer? A fashion designer in gritty New York City?  

Striving to become the son who can finally make his parents proud, Eric begins to suspect that discovering his personal and creative identities can only be accomplished by admitting who he really is. Picking up at the end of his first acclaimed memoir, Where’s My Wand?, Poole’s journey from self-delusion to acceptance is simultaneously hysterical, heartfelt, and inspiring.  

Cover design by Christian Fuenfhausen.

"Oh, my.... Eric Poole's journey of self-delusion and self-discovery had me laughing one minute, crying the next, and rooting for him every second. This charming book is a TV series waiting to happen!" (George Takei, author, actor, and activist)

"Punctuated with highly effective humor, this book could easily serve as a resource for any closeted individuals looking to read another success story. A magnetic collection of real stories that sheds a new light on life in the Midwest." (Kirkus, starred review)

"A touching and RIOTOUSLY funny story about one boy’s search for his personal and creative identities in the 1980’s Midwest. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll keep your jazz hands to yourself, Mister." (Judith Newman, author of To Siri, with Love)

"A courageous and boldly honest memoir. Eric Poole says things people feel but would never admit to, which makes him vulnerable and endearing." (Wendy E. Simmons, author of My Holiday in North Korea)