I have a secret. It's the secret to staying happy in challenging times. Whether it's raising children with special needs, going through a financial crisis, difficulty with marriage or relationships, the secret to staying happy applies to all of the above and more.

Rebbetzin Feige Slavaticki is the co-director of the Chabad Israeli Center in Skokie, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. In addition to running a Chabad house, Rebbetzin Feige is the mother of 11 children, two of whom have special needs.
Rebbetzin Feige shares with us some powerful and poignant stories that contain precious pearls of Torah wisdom. It's the wisdom that is gleaned from these stories that shapes the way we stay happy in challenging times.

Here is a sneak peak into one of the stories that Rebbetzin Feige shares:
There is a Mosad agent (secret service agent) who gets into a taxi. Once he is inside, he sees two men in the backseat with guns pointed at his head. They take him and lock him in a prison cell. They torture him to try to get him to tell all his national secrets. He doesn't tell them anything. Then, by accident, he overhears his captors talking amongst themselves. They were speaking Hebrew. All of a sudden, he understood. Those men weren't his enemies; they were fellow Mosad agents testing him to make sure that he is strong enough to do the job to which he was assigned.

The above story is a parable. When 'bad' things happen to us, we get mad or upset. We think the person who put us in this situation is bad. We think that these circumstances are awful. In reality, it is Hashem who caused that person to do whatever they did, and it was Hashem who caused you to be in those difficult circumstances.

Hashem often test us in order to bring out our strength. When we recognize that these challenges and difficulties are really tests from Hashem, that He gives to us, from a place of love, in order for us to bring out our own strengths, then we understand that we are not dealing with a captor or an enemy. Rather, it's our Father in Heaven who is strengthening us and preparing us for upcoming challenges we may face in life.

Rebbetzin Feige also shares another parable about a taxi driver that has two steering wheels in his car. One is for his toddler son who likes to 'drive,' and one is the actual steering wheel that he drives. This story shows us that no matter how much we think we are in the driver's seat, it's really Hashem who is driving the taxi.

Emunah (faith.) Divine Providence. Letting go and letting G-d. It's not up to you to run the world. The responsibility of controlling everyone and everything is not on your shoulders. You need to do your best, focusing on what you can do, as opposed to what you can't do, and Hashem will handle the rest.

What is your story?
Were your parents abusive to you? Did someone abandon you? Were you bullied? Did you suffer financially? Did you grow up in a dysfunctional family? Did your husband cheat on you?

What was your trauma?

DO YOU WANT TO HEAL YOURSELF NOW?

In this authentic conversation, Chaya Sara Gurewicz and I speak about the healing that is happening all around us. We are living in an age of healing. We are becoming more aware of the different healing modalities that are being used to heal hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Chaya Sara talks about some of these modalities, as well as her unique healing retreat, called, Awakening Within. The staff at the retreat are committed to meeting each participant as they are. They give whatever type of healing is required, including a technique called rebirthing. (Chaya Sara describes it in detail toward the end of our conversation.) The goal of the retreat is to be present for the participants and to provide them with the personalized healing they need in order to create permanent shifts in their healing.

After the retreat, participants meet at regular check ins to maintain the progress they made. As old patterns are broken and new patterns are put in place, healing continues on a deep level, in a supportive environment.

These retreats are available to men and women, separately (they are not co-ed retreats.)

For further information on the Awakening Within Retreats, please email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Oregon State University and Corvallis, Oregon are home to a brand new Chabad house run by Rebbetzin Zahava Angster and her husband, Rabbi Menachem Angster.

In this eye-opening conversation, Rebbetzin Zahava tells her own personal story of growing up in the Bais Yaakov school system and then going to a Chabad seminary that changed her life. Rebbetzin Zahava talks about WHY Hashem (G-d) recreates us every moment of the day; He recreates us because each and every one of us has a specific mission and purpose that ONLY we can fulfill.

Rebbetzin Zahava shares examples with us from her own life about how we can all be a light in the world for others. Chabad was looking for emissaries specifically for Corvallis, Oregon for 10 years, and it was Rebbetzin Zahava and her husband who were chosen for this very important mission. By their openly Jewish presence, they elevate Corvallis. By elevating the physical, we bring Hashem down into the world. Who we are and what we do has a tremendous impact on our environment and also the whole world. We matter. Our actions matter. What we say and do matters. Each one of us is here for a reason. Rebbetzin Zahava's story is proof of that.

For further information, please email atrebbetzins@gmail.com

You're feeling stressed, tired, angry, or sad...so, of course you go into the kitchen and start eating that box of cookies, bag of chips, and the chocolate bar before starting on the peanut butter, the leftover chicken, and anything else that looks good in your fridge or pantry. This happens again and again. It's called emotional eating. You are feeling some type of painful emotion from an outside stimulus--the argument with your husband, your child that didn't behave, your friend that didn't show up, the situation that didn't go as planned--and instead of feeling the pain of the emotion, you stuff yourself instead (sometimes with food you don't even want.)

In this raw and authentic conversation, yoga instructor and Certified Health Coach (with an additional certification in the Psychology of Emotional Eating), Aviva Aberman, talks about the psychology of emotional eating...and how to stop. She brings in Torah concepts to help connect our mind, body and soul--true somatic healing. Aviva runs programs for women, on Zoom, in order to help them overcome emotional eating by feeling their emotions, and then healing them. You need to feel in order to heal.

Aviva takes women through her 8 step guidelines that help women go from unconscious eating (emotional eating) to conscious eating. But most importantly, Aviva shows, explains, and teaches people how to love themselves, which is REALLY what it's all about. She teaches women how to take care of themselves properly. Although manicures and pedicures are nice, the best self-care options include things like:

--thinking kind thoughts about yourself

--truly listening to your body and communicating with it about what you really want to eat (and it's not always chocolate cake)

--taking a short (or long) walk in fresh air

--davening (praying)

--meditating (it could be for just 15 minutes)

For more information on Aviva and her programs, please visit:

https://www.healwithaviva.net/

You can also email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Amazing Speaker!!!

Rebbetzin Sarah Deitsch beautifully explains the meaning of Chassidism (Chassidut), and Chabad Chassidut in particular. Chabad is an acronym for Chochma, Bina, Da'at, which means Wisdom, Understanding, and Knowledge. Chabad Chassidut encourages Jews to use an intellectual approach to connect with G-d (Hashem.) The intellectual connection to our Creator will then go into our heart, and we will love Him completely with both our mind and our soul, and our body too.

Rebbetzin Sarah emphasized that another major component of Chabad Chassidus is love of our fellow Jew. We are all equal as Jews, and we all know something about Judaism (even if it's very little.) It's our responsibility as Jews to teach another Jew something that we know about Judaism so that their lives can be enriched. Chassidus really intertwines love of our fellow Jew, with love of Torah, and love of G-d.

Another meaningful aspect that Rebbetzin Sarah shared is the concept of hashgaha pratis, Divine intervention. G-d is involved in every aspect of our lives; not just the major events in our lives, but the little day-to-day moments too. He is always with us and watching over us. We need to make a dwelling place for G-d in this world. When we surrender to G-d, He enters our lives--this is why humility is important.

Also, Moshiach (messiah)! Chassidism emphasizes the coming of Moshiach. We can bring Moshiach by doing mitzvot to the best of our ability. Once Moshiach is here, there will be revealed G-dliness in the world. Hashem's presence will be revealed, not hidden.

We are encouraged to develop a deep connection to the Lubavticher Rebbe. When we visit the Rebbe's Ohel (burial spot) in Queens, NY, his presence is very much felt there, and it's easier to connect to him. When we pray at the Ohel, we are praying directly to G-d in the merit of the Rebbe. (We don't pray to the Rebbe, we pray to G-d.) If you would like to learn more information about visiting the Ohel, please email me at atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Some ways that you can bring Chassidus into your life today are:
1. Realize how important you are to G-d.
2. Educate yourself. Leah the book of Tanya (there are many English translations that are available in bookstore and online.) Learn the Rebbe's sichos too. The sichos are the talks that the Rebbe gave to his followers when he was alive. (Check out www.chabad.org)

Rebbetzin Sarah Deitsch is the co-director of the Schottenstein Chabad House on the campus of Ohio State University. She offers meaningful educational and social programming for the students to engage and deepen their connection to Judaism.

You have the ability to create the reality that you have always wanted! You can do this by creating awareness of your thoughts and the emotions and feelings those thoughts bring. If your thoughts don't reflect your true desires, and who you really are deep inside, you have the power to change those thoughts. Chana Mason gives you step by step instructions about how to create awareness of your thoughts and how to actually change your thinking pattern. This new thought pattern will evoke new, positive emotions and behavior to go along with those positive emotions. Those positive emotions will help to attract and manifest the things/people/situations that you want in your life.

In this eye-opening interview, Chana teaches us about the power of breathwork to release past trauma and stored emotions. She also speaks in-depth about conscious meditation and how this practice can help us move forward in our lives, clearing trauma and helping us to become more focused as we grow into the person who we want to become.

Chana Mason has dedicated the past two years of her life to all things personal growth oriented. She is a breathwork coach. Chana helps people use the quiet of their breath to attune to the rise and fall of their emotions, hold their emotions with compassion, and rekindle a love for themselves, for life, and for others.

For more information, contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

Our kids have all types of feelings and emotions, and they may not yet know how to process those feelings and regulate their emotions. This can result in temper tantrums, yelling, crying, stealing, and expressing a wide array of behaviors that tend to drive us crazy as parents.

So what is our children's bad behavior REALLY trying to tell us? When kids act out, they are telling us that they have deep and strong emotions. They need to be heard; they need to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. They need us, as parents, to remain calm and in control, because when we are calm and in control, we make them feel safe. We need to be present for our children in a loving way, even when we set boundaries for them. We can let them know that they are not able to do something, while at the same time showing then compassion and empathy.

Emunah Steier, a psychiatrist, therapist, and mother of 3, who is passionate about family communication, shares the following tips for parents:

1. We need to cultivate our consciousness that our kids are innately good; they are precious, holy souls that were hand picked specifically for us to parent. We don't always know what is going on inside of them that causes them to behave a certain way, and we need to connect with them to open a dialogue so that they can share their thoughts and feelings with us.

2. We need to let our children know that ALL feelings are ok. Certain behaviors are not ok, but all feelings are acceptable.

3. When our children do something to trigger us, we need to realize that it's not really them who is triggering us; it's something that already exists within us that is being triggered. We then need to take some time to sit with ourselves and explore what it is inside of us that we need to address and heal.

Throughout our conversation, Emunah shares many examples and relatable personal stories that show how we can address 'bad' behavior with our good kids, while judging them favorably.

For further information, please email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com

How do we guide our older teens as they transition into adulthood? What is our job as parents? What role do we play in the lives of our teens?

Parenting coach and parenting workshop facilitator, Miriam Leibowtiz, answers these questions as she guides us in our parenting journey.

The job of a parent is to help our children develop into the person that he or she was created to be, even if who they are is different from the way we would have wanted them to be. As children grow into teenagers and young adults, parents shift from the role of caretaker to the role of guide. When parents treat their teens with warmth, give them unconditional love, and set boundaries for them, without imposing their will on their child, they are giving that child the space to figure out who they really are. Often, when we try to impose our will on our teens, they will have a counter will to resist what we tell them to do. We need to actively listen to them, allow them to express their feelings, validate their feels, and accept them for who they are--even if they are different from us.

As parents, we need to mourn and let go of the preconceived notions we had that our children were going to be a certain way. We need to feel our pain, and then to let go of it. We also need to have compassion on ourselves for the pain that we have gone through in our childhood. When we have empathy for ourselves, we will be able to be open to how our teens are feeling, and have empathy for them. This will help us have a soft heart and relate to our teens with love, which will foster connection.

Miriam explains the above concepts in beautiful detail.

Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com