Ever tried to resolve a conflict only to end up in a verbal boxing match? This week, Damon and Kelly wrap up their 4-part conflict series by exploring the critical roles of speaker and listener, and why most of us play both badly.

You’ll learn how to:

• Take turns (like, really take turns)
• Use “I” statements without sounding cheesy
• Avoid emotional ambushes and “speaker-in-waiting” mode
• Create safety and clarity when emotions are running high
• Ask better questions like “What are you feeling?” or “Tell me more”

With humor, practical tools, and a little awkward role play (yes, Damon actually stayed quiet), this episode will give you real-world strategies to handle conflict constructively.

Next week kicks off our brand new series Lost in Translation, where we dive into how each Enneagram type hears what you say, and what they think you meant.

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This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins.

Whether it's naming that you're triggered, taking 20 minutes to calm your brain, or journaling out what you really feel (instead of reacting from anger), this episode gives you a clear, practical roadmap. Conflict doesn't have to be chaotic and knowing your number just helps you navigate it better.

Oh, and yes... Scott’s Tots comes up. You’ve been warned.

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Last week, we laid out a six-step process for navigating conflict, but let’s be honest, sometimes the real struggle is what happens before the steps even start. In this follow-up episode, Damon and Kelly unpack the emotional landmines that often sabotage our best intentions in conflict.

From blame to emotional avoidance, they explore five self-sabotage traps and how each Enneagram type might fall into them. Whether you're a Nine trying to keep the peace, a One trying to make it right, or a Four deep in your feelings, this episode will help you recognize what’s getting in the way, and why it matters.

Stay tuned next week for the follow-up: how to move toward emotional self-regulation when conflict arises.

• The five emotional traps that sabotage healthy conflict
• How your Enneagram number may fall into specific pitfalls
• Why “blame” is emotionally satisfying — and what it costs you
• The subtle ways we numb, bury, or get stuck in unhealthy patterns
• How recognizing self-sabotage is the first step toward change

Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997

Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:
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