
Can Being a Perfectionist Mess with Your Sex Life?
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Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?
In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity quietly affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.
We unpack her study on desire, domestic labor, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.
You’ll learn:
- Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible load
- The difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)
- How male and female sexual desire can differ
The study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al, and published in The Journal of Sex Research.
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