Episode 20 - Introduction to entering controlling relationships as a trauma response

Are you in a relationship personal or professional with someone that makes you feel powerless or scared? Maybe they hold grudges constantly over issues that are actually trivial? Perhaps they make you feel like you cannot do anything right ever, or that there is something wrong with you?

Or maybe you are in a situation where the other person makes you feel like you are always the problem in any situation. In certain situations they could be monitoring you by asking you to tell them everything or looking into your personal email and social media accounts?

If so, you could be experiencing a controlling relationship situation. If you are realizing that this may be the case for you, it is absolutely not your fault and you can get out of it.

So what exactly is a controlling relationship?

A controlling relationship is one that is based on an imbalance of power. It is a relationship where the other person is dominating you, and displaying authoritarian and possessive behavior. It is a situation where the other person is constantly trying to control your every move, regularly makes you feel guilty, shows extreme jealousy, isolates you from your friends and family. It is a relationship where you are not free to be yourself, and where you experience a lack of self worth, intimidation, guilt and insecurity and alienation from your support system. This form of control can be brought up in multiple ways - financial, physical, sexual, spiritual, psychological and emotional.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Episode 19 -Introduction to emotional numbness as a trauma response

Have you ever experienced a change in your emotional experience, as if your emotions became something you started to have restricted access to? Or perhaps, have your emotions started to feel completely inaccessible? Maybe you have experienced a feeling of distance and detachment from others, and have developed a strong preference for being alone and isolated. Or are you struggling to experience positive feelings like happiness and feel generally “flat” emotionally and physically? If you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms, you could be dealing with emotional numbness as a trauma response.

So what exactly is emotional numbness?

Emotional numbness is when you are in a state of existence which leaves you unable to feel and express emotions. It is the mental and emotional process of shutting out feelings. Everyone can experience a day when they feel emotionally numb and it is often temporary. When experiencing emotional numbness though, this feeling will be present for many days consecutively and for multiple weeks in a row. The emotional numbness will begin to impact your day to day life. Emotional numbness is a strategy to protect oneself from a physical or emotional pain that is in addition to what you have already endured.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Episode 18 - Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs

Do you overcommit to activities or responsibilities that others ask of you? Do you ever find yourself saying yes to everything or struggling to ever say the word no to others? Maybe you often find that you are saying yes to work or personal commitments, despite having too much of a work or personal load already. Maybe you end up regretting saying yes and over-committing yourself. Or, perhaps you look back and realize that you are never taking care of your own needs because you have been so focused on pleasing others. If so, you may be experiencing People Pleasing as a Trauma Response.

So what exactly is people pleasing?

People pleasing is when a person constantly strives to please others, a people pleaser chronically over-commits to activities and responsibilities and, people pleasers have a great deal of trouble setting boundaries.

People pleasing can be a trauma response, this is a response that is motivated by fear.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Episode 17 - Introduction to Overworking and Workaholic behavior as a Trauma Response

Overworking happens when you are exceeding your capacity at work - this capacity can be physical, mental or emotional. Overworking occurs when you work too long, too hard or too much. Similarly to overworking, workaholics have an inability to control the time they spend on work, even if working has negative health and relationship consequences. Although Overworking and Workaholic behaviors are very similar, they differ in that workaholics tend to act out compulsion and fear.

Even though it may not be obvious at first, both responses can be a trauma response.

So what exactly is overworking as a trauma response?

Trauma and the feelings that come with it are hard and uncomfortable; they can be painful and extremely unsettling. If this is the case for you, work can so easily become a very welcome distraction. Work can feel like a safe place because you can immerse yourself in it, it can be a place of logic or chaos but it is a place that is not in your mind and not made out of your feelings which is where the relief comes in. Trauma victims may get lost in work - they may even work through discomfort and physical pain because they are so accustomed to putting their unresolved feelings into their jobs.

If you find yourself immersing yourself in work as a distraction from other areas of your life that are causing dissatisfaction or stress, you could be experiencing overworking or workaholism as a trauma response.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Episode 16 - Introduction to the Emotional Recovery from a Critical Illness

When you make it through a critical illness you might expect to feel happy, relieved and even energized. You may think that you should be ready to move on with your life and leave that awful event in the past where it supposedly belongs. Afterall, you have overcome the illness or at least the illness’s current hurdle. Those around you might presume that you have moved on too. Even if they don’t say it outwardly, they might assume you will act as you always have, resume your normal work duties, your home and educational duties, your parenting duties and so on because to them - you have recovered, at least to a certain extent. To everyone else it might seem that life is moving on and that part is true, life does move on. This is one of the aspects of the human experience that we can rely on even if at times, it seems like the world should stop to honor what has happened to us or those around us, it simply does not.

What is not talked about enough and what you might not expect is to not feel happy, not feel relieved and not feel energized or motivated at all. Getting back to life as you know it is not as simple as it seems. The thing is, after surviving a critical illness you are forever changed. There is no life as you know it anymore. You do not see or feel life in the same way. I can spot critical illness survivors easily - I have witnessed the ones that have had major breakthroughs and truly cherish life, I’ve seen the ones that run away from the experience right into the hands of substances and I’ve seen the ones that remain in a constant state of depression. The ones I see most clearly, are the ones like me, the ones who move on with their life so quickly and get hit so hard with PTSD that they don’t see it coming, and they don’t even recognize it at first.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Today's episode is an explanation of why people do not step in to stop abuse and a guide to giving help to someone you suspect is being abused.

If anyone that did not step in and help me is listening today - I understand why you couldn't then but I need you to know that it is not too late to help others now.

When I was growing up, many parts of my family's situation were kept buried and expertly hidden. Once I became an adult and began advocating for myself I started to truly take a stand about what happened to me as a child. When I did this, something unexpected happened. Many people in my life came forward. They came forward and told me that they were always worried about what was happening to me in the house I grew up in.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

Episode 14 - Introduction to Oversharing

In today’s episode I will be discussing oversharing as it relates to a trauma response and providing a three steps to help you overcome oversharing. Divulging excessive information quickly in a relationship is a very common pattern in people who have experienced trauma. Do you ever find yourself explaining things without limits to the wrong person and maybe at the wrong time? Do you go into great detail about your life really quickly with someone you just recently met? Perhaps you find yourself giving up information that you later realize was inappropriate or maybe you give up too much information too soon for the situation at hand. If so, you could be experiencing oversharing.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

In today's episode I will be discussing overthinking. In my last episode I discussed catastrophizing, I consider overthinking to be catastrophizing’s equally unhelpful sibling. Overthinking and catastrophizing can stem from similar pasts as a way to cope with trauma, however, like siblings they have their own unique elements.

Do you ever find yourself constantly ruminating, going over a situation over and over again in your mind as if on replay, or, do you catch yourself thinking through as many possible scenarios as you can before moving forward? Do you feel it is safer to think about than to act on a decision? If so, you could be experiencing overthinking due to trauma. If you are experiencing overthinking, it can cause you to become hyper-focused on your own thoughts, grow anxious about your inability to understand and manage them and end up preventing you from taking action. This can cause stagnation and can be incredibly uncomfortable and stifling.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.

I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support

You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
Instagram

Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata