In this darkly hilarious short story from the collection "Influenced," we follow Augustine Hall, a digital wellness guru who charges wealthy clients £8,500 for "Radical Disconnection Therapy" while secretly maintaining six backup phones to feed his own social media addiction. When his devices mysteriously stop working during a retreat, Augustine's carefully constructed facade begins to crumble in spectacular fashion.

Listen as we explore the ultimate irony of our digital age: the influencer who built an empire teaching digital detox while being utterly unable to disconnect himself.

Key Themes Explored

Digital addiction and hypocrisy - The gap between what we preach and what we practice online

Wellness industry fraud - How authentic healing gets commodified and performed

Social media dependency - The psychological withdrawal of digital validation

Authentic vs. performed spirituality - The difference between genuine growth and Instagram aesthetics

Class and privilege in wellness culture - Who can afford to "disconnect" and what that really means

Story Highlights

Augustine's six hidden backup phones strategically placed around his manor

The £295 meditation cushion with discount code AUTHENTIC20

His complete meltdown when forced to experience actual digital detox

The brilliant reveal of who sabotaged his devices and why

His journey from fake guru to genuine recovery

Perfect For Listeners Who Enjoy

Black Mirror-style tech satire

Wellness industry exposés

Dark comedy about modern life

Stories about digital addiction

Ironic character studies

Discussion Questions

How do we distinguish between authentic and performed wellness?

What drives our need for constant digital validation?

Can someone truly help others with problems they haven't solved themselves?

How has social media changed the nature of spirituality and self-help?

Related Content

This story is part of "Influenced," a collection examining humanity's complex relationship with digital technology and social media. Other stories explore online dating algorithms, content moderation trauma, and digital conspiracy theories.

Keywords

digital detox, wellness fraud, social media addiction, influencer culture, digital wellness, tech satire, modern spirituality, authentic healing, digital dependency, wellness industry, mindfulness comedy, social media withdrawal

Content Warnings

Mild language, depictions of anxiety and digital addiction, satirical treatment of wellness culture

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