エピソード

  • Breaking Free: A Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Behaviors
    2024/10/10

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    In this episode, we delve into the complexities of compulsive behaviors, from minor bad habits to severe addictions. Learn foundational strategies to shift your relationship with these urges and begin your path towards healing. Drawing from personal experience and extensive coaching practice, we explore how to tackle compulsions with compassion and understanding rather than force and judgment. Discover practical techniques like grounding, acceptance, and presence to gradually dismantle these behaviors and enhance cognitive function. With insights into how mental health parallels physical healing, uncover the importance of aligning your psyche and paving the way for true self-expression and freedom.

    00:00 Introduction to Ending Compulsions
    01:08 Understanding Compulsions
    03:21 The Inner War and Psychological Divides
    05:42 Compassionate Self-Treatment
    07:06 The Role of External Help
    07:37 The Limits of Self-Control
    09:56 Grounding and Acceptance
    16:51 The Power of Delay
    20:07 Embracing True Freedom
    22:07 Conclusion and Next Steps

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

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    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

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    24 分
  • How to Defeat Inner Shame
    2024/09/28

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    In this episode, John discusses how to overcome shame to gain access to your inner world and achieve inner peace. He explains the crippling nature of shame, its dual nature, and how it affects our mental health. John shares his personal journey with childhood PTSD and his years-long quest to understand mental illness and trauma. He emphasizes the importance of disempowering shame to empower oneself and offers practical steps to bypass shame and unlock one's true potential.

    00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Shame
    00:11 Understanding the Nature of Shame
    00:17 The Dual Nature of Shame
    00:56 Personal Journey and Motivation
    01:49 Shame's Role in Mental Health
    03:28 Shame in Public vs. Private Spaces
    04:31 Shame as a Barrier to Inner Work
    07:42 Disempowering Shame
    08:33 Objective Observation Exercise
    13:03 Conclusion and Next Steps

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
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    CA
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    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

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    14 分
  • All-or-Nothing Thinking (and the life-changing power of "good enough")
    2024/09/25

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    Transforming Your Life by Overcoming All or Nothing Thinking

    In this episode, John delves into the pervasive issue of all-or-nothing thinking, a mindset that can impede progress in various aspects of life including weight loss, relationships, and career goals. John discusses the origin of this mentality, often rooted in childhood experiences and perfectionism, and offers practical strategies to identify and overcome it. He emphasizes the importance of setting realistic, incremental goals and maintaining a presence with one's objective reality to facilitate meaningful progress. John also explains how reframing moderate efforts as valuable can break the cycle of shame and extreme attempts followed by failure. For those interested, he offers coaching resources and invites viewers to join a new community focused on personal freedom and inner work.

    00:00 Introduction to All or Nothing Thinking
    00:47 Meet Your Coach: John Oakes
    01:51 The Impact of All or Nothing Thinking
    02:18 Real-Life Example and Resources
    03:07 Understanding Human Behavior
    04:50 The Roots of Perfectionism
    07:43 Breaking the Cycle of Shame
    10:20 Practical Steps to Overcome All or Nothing Thinking
    12:32 The Importance of Moderate Solutions
    19:06 Staying Grounded and Moving Forward
    22:51 Conclusion and Community Invitation

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
    AU

    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

    Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

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    25 分
  • 5 KEY Shifts from Trauma to Healing
    2024/09/22

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    In this episode, John takes viewers through five key shifts essential for healing from PTSD: moving from survival mode to seeking what you truly want, transitioning from rule-based to values-based living, fostering hope rather than relying solely on prediction, surrendering control to embrace internal motivation, and transitioning from resistance to acceptance. John emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and inner peace in overcoming trauma and living an authentic life. He also touches on practical steps to aid in this transformation process.

    00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey
    00:18 Five Key Shifts in Healing from PTSD
    00:39 Understanding the A/B Dichotomy
    02:29 From Rule-Based to Values-Based Living
    05:45 Shifting from Prediction to Hope
    09:18 Control vs. Surrender
    11:02 Resistance to Acceptance
    12:26 Bonus Shifts: Self-Acceptance and Inner Peace
    15:08 Conclusion and Call to Action

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
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    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

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    17 分
  • 3 Things We Must Accept Before We Can Heal
    2024/09/19

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    In this episode, John delves deeply into the concept of acceptance as a crucial step in healing from trauma. He explains how acceptance frees up energy, outlines its role in better understanding and contextualizing traumatic experiences, and advocates for recognizing the ongoing manifestations of trauma in daily life. The episode touches on three areas of acceptance: accepting the reality of what happened, accepting the present-day consequences, and accepting the hidden brokenness that others may not see. John emphasizes the importance of community support and announces plans to create a community focused on healing from trauma.

    00:00 Introduction to Trauma and Healing
    00:59 Understanding Acceptance
    04:47 Accepting What Happened
    07:47 Accepting Present Realities
    14:12 The Hidden Brokenness
    20:44 Building a Supportive Community
    22:59 Conclusion and Next Steps

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
    AU

    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

    Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

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    24 分
  • Self Love for Healing - Myths, Misconceptions and Key Obstacles
    2024/09/17

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    In this episode, John provides a comprehensive overview of self love in the context of healing from trauma and mental illness. Key points discussed include common myths and misconceptions about self love, such as vanity, narcissism, and selfishness, and how these ideas are influenced by religious and cultural backgrounds. John also addresses the obstacles to self love such as dogma, avoidance patterns, cognitive biases around responsibility and service, the addiction to earning love, self hatred, and the distrust of oneself.

    00:00 Introduction to Self Love and Healing

    00:42 Myths and Misconceptions About Self Love

    01:59 Religious Influences on Self Love

    03:06 The Impact of Narcissism and Hubris

    04:59 Selfishness and Self Love

    07:05 Evangelical Whiplash and Cognitive Dissonance

    12:08 Clearing the Path for True Self Love

    14:56 Obstacles to Self Love

    15:46 Dogma and Religious Upbringing

    20:59 Patterning and Avoidance

    22:17 Cognitive Bias of Responsibility and Service

    26:26 Addiction to Earning Love

    28:20 Self Hatred and Compulsions

    33:15 Healing the Divide Within

    37:52 Conclusion and Next Steps

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
    AU

    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

    Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

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    39 分
  • People Pleasing: It's Worse Than You Realize
    2024/06/06

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    People Pleasing is f**king you up way more than you think.

    In this episode, John Oakes explores the concept of people pleasing, revealing that it is often not about making others happy but a survival mechanism rooted in childhood. He discusses how this behavior can significantly affect mental health, weight loss goals, and overall wellbeing. Through the example of a character named Cindy, John illustrates the consequences of prioritizing others over oneself and offers steps to reclaim personal freedom and assertiveness. He also shares insights into the deep-rooted fears that drive people pleasing and provides guidance on how to begin breaking free from these patterns.

    00:00 Introduction to People Pleasing
    00:45 Personal Story and Mission
    01:34 Understanding People Pleasing and Weight Struggles
    04:22 The Case of Cindy: A People Pleaser's Life
    14:43 Childhood Roots of People Pleasing
    19:19 The Impact of People Pleasing in Adulthood
    23:45 Understanding the Nature of Control and People Pleasing
    24:17 Steps to Break Free from People Pleasing
    27:06 Facing Your Fears and Setting Boundaries
    29:45 The Importance of Self-Care and Personal Wellbeing
    33:50 Accepting Your Reality and Needs
    38:45 The Journey to Emotional Freedom
    40:51 Conclusion and Coaching Information

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
    AU

    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

    Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

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    43 分
  • "Too Good to Be True"⎮ How Trauma Is Causing You to Reject the Best Things in Life
    2024/05/31

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    In this episode, John tackles one of the greatest tragedies of unhealed trauma: the fact that it causes us to vehemently reject good things in life.

    • Why, every day, millions of people actively reject opportunity, money, and caring relationships.
    • How childhood trauma creates a false frame of reference that warps adult judgment.
    • How this warped judgment causes good people to reject good things.
    • Why people get scared when they near a genuine opportunity for change.
    • Why we distract from the misery of our lives (and not just to avoid misery)
    • How this phenomenon forms a negative feedback loop that traps us
    • How we can slowly but surely free ourselves from this trap
    • How we can expand the possibilities for our lives by identifying and dismantling this malformed aspect of the psyche.

    To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

    Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
    Amazon US
    UK
    CA
    AU

    Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

    Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

    Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

    Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube

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    1 時間 2 分