This time, we finish up the incredible, horrible tale of the goings on in Leopold’s Congo from last time. We start off with someone calling him out for the terrible things going on, and it is completely ignored. Then other people come forward with news of people being mutilated, and it being completely ignored. Then, some Irish guy creates tires out of rubber, and things get even worse for the Congolese people. Finally, after years of mass killings and kidnappings, an unassuming worker for a shipping company notices some weird shipments coming and going and decides to do something about it. We finally have a hero in this story. We also had the World’s Fair in Belgium, and Leopold wanted to show off what he had in the Congo… Then, some dude years later made some candies. This part of the story is even worse than the first, but it kinda sorta ends well. As well as it can, I guess.

Boy oh boy… If you don’t know who this guy is, first off, lucky you. Second, I’m sorry that I’m about to change that. He was a simple man; all he really wanted was to take over the throne of Belgium from his father and own a colony somewhere that would help his country build its economy. After trying and failing for years to talk Parliament into building a colony somewhere he decided “F**k it. I’ll do it myself” and he BOUGHT THE CONGO. That means that any money that came from exporting any kind of natural resources would go to him and him alone. He even hired a pet explorer who would go there and “convince” the locals to sell the land they had been on for generations. After the construction was complete, the fun began… Harvesting natural resources, mostly ivory to start with. When the ivory trade started drying up, the beatings began… Did I mention this guy was a complete turd? This is only the beginning, though. Part 2 is going to be horrendous… Get episodes a week early, ad-free episodes, and content on Patreon: https://patreon.com/1159media

This episode holds a special place in my heart for a couple of different reasons. First, it happened in my home state of Vermont, and secondly, I got to spend a couple of hours hanging out with my little brother. We talk about fun trips we took in our childhood, hospital trips with Dad for an axe wound, the beauty of childbirth and even about this one time that a bunch of Confederate soldiers came down from Canada and robbed a series of banks in the Town of St. Albans to try and get some payback for perceived war crimes. They came up with a great, well-thought-out plan and executed it, until they realized the people of the Green Mountain State are VERY big fans of the 2nd Amendment. Oh, and the best part is, this great plan that they came up with was basically a comedy of errors and incompetence; they should have made off with WAAAAY more money than they did, but they were bamboozled by some of the locals. With all that said, somehow, this story ends in a way that nobody saw coming, the leader of the raid doing a complete 180 and completely redeeming himself as a human. This one was a ton of fun to do, and I think you’ll hear that in the recording!Get episodes a week early, and ad-free access to all episodes on Patreon: https://patreon.com/1159media

It’s hard to cover the entire history of a military unit. It’s much easier to cover a handful of individuals who were part of it. It’s even better when those handful of guys are completely God damn feral in battle. When you think of Nepal you probably think of sherpas and Mount Everest, you don’t think of a bunch of badasses with giant knives fighting for the English Crown in basically every conflict they’ve been involved with since the early 1800’s (as an American, I’m super glad the Brits didn’t bring them to the Revolution.) Two of our guys share the same last name but aren’t related; they both fought the Japanese during WWII. One single-handedly fended off a massive wave of charging baddies. The other took the fight to them. Big time. Our final Gurkha pulled some shit on a train that if you saw it in a movie based on his life you wouldn’t believe that it was true. These guys are excellent, loyal, terrifying, and above all else, brave as hell. There’s a saying: “If a man says he’s not afraid of dying, he’s either lying or a Gurkha.”

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This one is a bit different. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to tell either of these men’s stories without talking about the other. Fate and hatred pulled these two towards each other in a way that is like something out of a movie. Talaat Pasha was a Turkish politician and military leader who was, bare minimum, one of the most evil people who has ever been, but most people have never heard his name. Soghomon Tehliraian wanted to get an education. The issue between these two goes back centuries before either where born, when the Turks decided that Armenia didn’t need to be a country and took half of it. Once the out guys came into the picture, Pasha decided that the Armenian People didn’t need to exist anymore. He was responsible for the extermination of damn near 2 million people. Tehliraian’s family was among them. Sometimes the bad guys get away with the evil they do. Sometimes they don’t. Find out which way this one turns…

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Born into a well-off family, he was left fatherless at a young age after his father died from the horrific long-term effects of being gassed in the trenches of WWI. He wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and be a fighting man, and so did his brother and sister. Well, she wasn’t a fighting man. She was a badass combat ambulance driver. He spent his early career in Her Majesty's Army over in India doing some wild shit, hunting tigers and spearing wild pigs. Then Hitler went and ruined his fun. He trained as part of the ultra elite SAS and wanted to jump out of planes. He also stole a plane for a weekend boys trip, but that’s not important. He would take part in one of the largest airborne assaults in world history: Operation Market Garden. Him and his guys landed waaaay off course in their glider and humped it like 7 miles across town. The good news was that there were also tons of unfriendly Germans there, didn’t matter; Digby is the main character. They got to the objective point and got their asses kicked but, he did some really fun stuff with the umbrella he had… He got captured by the Nazis but that wasn’t the end of his story. Not. Even. Close.

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Our first toe dip into the world of the underworld. This is the kind of True Crime topic you can expect to see more of in the future of History Goon. Joe Barboza had a f**ked up childhood. His dad left because he was cheating on his mom; she sent little Joe to talk to him, and he kicked him out. After he bought him a pigeon. He bounced around youth and adult prisons (he spent time in a bunch of places that one of the most notorious possible serial killers in US history. He also could have been full of shit.) Joe would get recruited for his “skillset” by the biggest crime family in New England, where he terrorised the streets of Massachusetts. If you owed Joe money, he would find you. And when he found you, he was going to hurt you. Badly. The big reason I wanted to cover him is what he was responsible for, the creation of a Government program that is still in use today. Hang out for a bit and see how that worked out for him…

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The “War on Drugs” started back in 1971 under Richard Nixon with the intent of eliminating illegal drug use by making the fines and penalties so stiff that people would stop using them. It’s hard to say, but guys, I think drugs won. That being said, people have been doing drugs for a LONG TIME. People have also been going to war for a LONG TIME. Sometimes, the streams get crossed, and guys stuff handfuls of mushrooms into their mouths and attack the English. Or sometimes the 2 biggest super powers that fought in the European theater of WWII gave troops Meth. Maybe some guys get yakked out of their skulls on Meth and fight the Russians on skis. Maybe dudes got baked and fought off a billion Vietcong soldiers in the middle of the night. It’s hard to say. I’m not going to condone drug use, but this is gonna be a wild episode.

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