I was born in 1970—the same cultural moment, almost to the year, that NPR emerged. My parents were daily drinkers and secular humanists who raised me in Hawaii with Carl Sagan, PBS, and an FM radio dialed to All Things Considered. Garrison Keillor. Click and Clack. Terry Gross. Diane Rehm. Kojo Nnamdi. This wasn’t politics—it was affection. NPR was calm, elite, literary, but with warmth. A sherry-glass liberalism. A voice that loved America while nudging it gently forward.

For decades I was the cliché NPR listener. WAMU 88.5 was always on. I attended events. I gave money. I listened from sunup to sundown. Even when I moved to Berlin from 2007–2010, I tuned into NPR Berlin on 104.1 FM—the only place in Europe where you could still hear that comforting cadence.

NPR didn’t just report the world. It modeled how to be in it. It embodied curiosity, restraint, and thoughtful compassion. Sure, it was Ivy League-adjacent, but it didn’t perform its politics. It offered a kind of humanist moral imagination that didn’t shout.

But over the last decade, it began to shout.

The slow turn started with Trump, but it accelerated under COVID. What once felt like public radio for the curious became a strategy hub for the perpetually aggrieved. On the Media went from fascinating to hectoring. 1A became sanctimonious. The programming seemed less about informing the public than scolding the noncompliant.

It wasn’t just the politics. NPR has always leaned left, and I’ve always been fine with that. What changed was the tone. It stopped being about persuasion and started being about purity. I started waking up not to gentle reporting, but to emotionally loaded moral litmus tests disguised as headlines.

And let me be clear: I was a lifer. I lived on Capitol Hill for nine years and in Arlington for 15. I studied American literature. I taught writing. I read postwar fiction in Berlin. I’ve attended Big Broadcast tapings. I’ve seen Garrison Keillor and David Sedaris live. I once flirted with Diane Rehm on Twitter. I should have been locked in until death. But if you’ve lost me—you’ve lost the plot.

I should’ve been paying a tithe to NPR and PBS for all 85 years of my life. Instead, I wake up listening to Your Morning Show with Mike DeGiorno, a warm, funny, right-leaning host who loves his audience and doesn’t perform ideological trauma theater every five minutes. He makes me laugh. He reminds me more of old NPR than NPR does.

And that’s the saddest sentence I’ve ever written.

Public media made a fatal gambit in 2016. They believed Trump was an aberration, a glitch, and if they could just signal hard enough—he’d vanish. But when he won again in 2024, after 34 felonies, after billions in judgments, after being called Hitler daily—they were shocked. Because they had stopped listening. They didn’t realize his supporters saw the media itself as the enemy. That “they’re not coming for me, they’re coming for you” landed. That Trump, for many, isn’t a savior but a middle finger.

NPR had become Tokyo Rose, broadcasting at its own people from a bunker of moral superiority.

Meanwhile, I’m streaming old Coast to Coast AM episodes. I watch Gutfeld!, not because it’s smart but because it’s stupid in the way old late night used to be. Colbert? I was a disciple. But since COVID, he’s turned into a high priest of performative grievance. I can’t even watch him interview celebrities anymore. If I want celebrity joy, I turn to The Graham Norton Show—where nobody cries about the state of the world before asking about someone’s rom-com.

Even The Daily Show knows what it has become. They joke about “TDS”—Trump Derangement Syndrome—because they know. It’s not satire anymore. It’s affirmation.

What I miss is what radio used to be. Sweet. Surprising. Curious. Gently skeptical. What it did best was model how to be open in a closed, chaotic world. And now that voice is gone.

I miss the voice in my kitchen.

And I’m still grieving.