[00:00:00] Hello, friends! It’s been a while.

[00:00:03] As you know, I wrapped up season one of the podcast earlier this year to give myself some more time to focus on a couple of key projects that I felt impressed to pursue. One of which I’m excited to announce today.

[00:00:16] What you may not know, though, is that at the time of this recording, I still work a 9-5 as the VP of Marketing for a global health and fitness company. And, I manage a couple of rental properties. And, my wife and I launched a new mobile app earlier this year. And…we have a new baby on the way. Which means, I’ve only been able to run this podcast, meet with coaching clients, work on a new book, and do interviews speaking engagements, and business trainings because of the incredible support of my wife, my fantastic assistant Ali, a very generous PTO offering from my company, and most of my evenings and weekends.

[00:00:56] Yet the irony was not lost on me that every hour I poured into teaching people how to build stronger, healthier, happier relationships was one less hour spent strengthening my own. My wife and I agreed on what we felt was a good balance between work time and together time, but I still had weeks where I was working more than I knew was sustainable. So, when the impression came to create an online training program to really help people master what I talk about here on the podcast, I knew two things:

[00:01:25] First, I knew I had to do it, because I knew how valuable these skills and practices are. And I realized the only way to really teach them as thoroughly and practically as I wanted, would be through this new online video format.

[00:01:39] Second, I knew that I couldn’t take on a project of that magnitude without sacrificing something else. So, I tied off season one of the podcast, paused a couple of other side projects, hired some extra help, and doubled down. And I spent the next six months churning away at my most ambitious project yet, the Extraordinary Relationships Master Course.

[00:02:02] This new course contains over 10 hours of sharply focused training, broken into 12 chapters and over 100 videos. It addresses the same topics you hear me speak about on the show, but takes it into the mastery level and talks about many more things that I haven’t yet spoken about on the show. I get into specifics of how to do the things I preach here, and then give you the tools and training you need, and then back you up with an exclusive online support community – something I’m pretty excited about, even though it’s still in its infancy.

[00:02:36] In the course, I discuss how to recognize the need for boundaries, how to set them, and how to hold and enforce them, and how to use them to connect better with others.

[00:02:45] Again, we’ve touched on that at a fairly high level here, but we go much deeper and dove into many questions that people have written about to hopefully really round out that understanding.

[00:02:55] I dive deep into validation, as you would expect, including how to validate people when you don’t agree with them, how to validate when someone’s angry with you, how to deal with constant complainers, how to invite your partner to learn about validation, and much more.

[00:03:10] We make you a master at identifying and getting out of drama. In the course, we tackle the daming habit of codependency and give you practical, proven methods for healing it. We go into conflict management, how to teach thes...

[00:00:00] Hello, fellow listeners of the I Hear You podcast, I'm your host, Michael Sorensen, if you don't already know my voice by now. Today I am announcing actually that this is the end of Season 1.

[00:00:13] I didn't know really when I started into this podcast series, what the best format was going to be, how we wanted to play things out. Then, as I've given it a lot of thought, there's still so many more things that we can talk about, but I think this is a good pausing point to wrap up Season 1 and to carve out some space and some time to help me prepare for Season 2.

[00:00:34] Further diving deeper, diving further, however you want to say it into some of these principles, answering more questions. I'm not quite sure yet what Season 2's format is going to look like.

[00:00:46] We may still take the same approach where they are 30 minute on average episodes where we dive into one specific point. I've considered bringing on experts in some of these fields to go even deeper, or maybe doing some Q&A style sessions where I answer more directly a lot of the questions that you guys have written in about, that's to be determined.

[00:01:06] And at this point, the reason I'm recording this specific episode here, a very short note, if you will, is I would love your feedback.

[00:01:14] I'd love to know what you would like Season 2 to look like. Is this current format working for you? If so, great. If not, what would you like to hear? What do you propose?

[00:01:25] Please send me an email at michael@ihearyoubook.com or you can find me on my contact form on my Website michaelssorensen.com

[00:01:36] I will also be taking some of this time to do some work on some upcoming master courses and on creating other materials and resources for further rounding out the understanding or your understanding on a lot of the principles that we talk about.

[00:01:50] So there is a lot of great things to come, this isn't me ending the podcast or giving up, or in any way stopping what I am doing in terms of sharing and teaching and paying forward everything that I can, everything that has benefited and helped me in my life.

[00:02:07] So with that, I want to give one final big, heartfelt thank you to all of you listeners. Everybody who's tuned in on a weekly basis. For sharing the podcast, for talking to others about it. And especially for reaching out to me, for the kudos, for the compliments, for the feedback, for the questions. All of that is what's made this first season so rewarding for me. And it's given me a lot of direction insight into how I can make this as helpful and as valuable as possible. So I want to thank you all again, and I look forward to talking to you next season.

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Related Episode: E11: How WIll You Measure Your Life?

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the I Hear You podcast. I've given today's topic quite a bit of thought over the years because it's something that I still struggle with on a daily basis. As my friends and family can attest, I have quite a sweet tooth and I'm also a sucker for Pringles and a few other specific snack items. And while I generally make healthy choices, to be fair, when it comes to my actual meals, I definitely struggle at times like when I'm tired or stressed or whatever to actually prepare a meal and eat that versus just grazing and snacking all day.

[00:00:37] But why is Michael talking about his eating habits? Well, it's because a couple of years ago I had one particularly indulgent Saturday night where I just wanted to escape reality for the evening. I don't remember what it was, probably just a stressful week at work and everything. And I thought, okay, here we go. Time to just relax, unwind, and so I bought a bunch of my guilty pleasures, plopped down in front of the TV and binged my way into a sugary, salty, Netflixy coma.

[00:01:06] And it felt great, in the moment. Because the next morning I woke up in a total funk. I felt depressed, disconnected, lonely. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to eat anything. I didn't really want to talk to or get together with anyone, I didn't want to go to church. I felt full, yet I felt completely undernourished. And I still wanted something, but I just didn't feel good.

[00:01:36] Then in that moment, it hit me. I mean, it's no secret that the vast majority of our processed foods fill us with calories that might satiate us in the moment, yet they provide virtually zero nutrition. So it's not no secret that that's not good for us. And I fully expected to feel the way that I did because of the way that I ate.

[00:01:57] And yet in that moment, I realized that what I was feeling was actually more than just a result of the actual food I had eaten. I realized that my recent emotional and spiritual diet was actually impacting me just as much as my physical diet.

[00:02:13] Think about it for a moment. Social media, television, gaming, pornography, addictive working, you name it. A lot of these things that we have in front of us in the world, they all taste great in the moment and they promise to fill our bellies, so to speak. Yet they provide little to no actual nutrition at best, and it can even be downright poisonous at the worst. And on top of all that, they're designed to be addictive, just like those Pringles, just like my chocolate covered cinnamon bears, whatever it was. There's a lot at play in our world right now, there's a lot available, I should say, in our world that feels great in the moment that might make us think that we're having certain real needs met when actually in reality isn't. In fact, when in real...

Related Episode: E21: Faulty Core Beliefs

[00:00:00] Today's episode of the I Hear You podcast is going to be a bit shorter, and it's not because the subject matter isn't any less important than simply because the subject matter doesn't require thirty to forty five minutes to discuss. And I'm all about keeping things short, sweet and to the point. It's one of the main things people appreciate about my books, and it's what I hear many of you appreciate about this podcast series. So today we're talking about developing emotional health and strength, which is something we've technically been talking about on every episode of the show. But today I want to talk at a bit of a higher level. Speaking specifically to how true lasting power and connection is really a two step method. In other words, it's not quite as simple as just learning new truth and applying it. It requires a little extra work in two key areas to have lasting, meaningful change. So without further ado, let's dove in.

[00:01:17] All right. This show is focused on building strong, healthy relationships. Right. And by now, you know that the majority of work gives me the rigidity of relationship. Work is actually self work. It's working on ourselves. And in many ways, I should say, that goes a long way toward improving all of our interpersonal relationships. And I have really one objective with this podcast, with my coaching, my books, all of the work that I do, and that's ultimately to help people live powerful, connected lives. So what I want to do today is take a little bit of time to set the stage for this and perhaps provide perspective on why everything we're talking about here and why the invitations I extend at the end of each episode are so important.

So a couple of years ago, I was at the gym and I was doing a pretty simple lift. It was a dumbbell overhead press, you know, sitting on the bench, 90 degree angle. I got two dumbbells. Put them at the side of my head, either side of my head next to my ears and just pressed up. And I wasn't even moving a ton of weight, but I was straining a bit. And I pushed up on one of my reps and I felt a little pop in my neck and all my muscles tensed up and I pulled the weights back down pretty quickly and I set them on the ground.

[00:02:38] I thought, oh, shoot. I tweaked something pinched nerve.

[00:02:42] I don't didn't know what it was or it wasn't dramatic, but I definitely did something that my body did not like. And I stopped lifting immediately. You know, I sat around for a minute or two to see if my muscles would loosen up and they didn't. And so I called it a day and I went home. And sure enough, that night my neck got super tight and I just thought, oh, shoot. OK. And I had to go to the gym for a few days. I'm going to let this thing heal. Well, I didn't go for a few days, and then when I did go back after about a week, I just did lower body because my neck wasn't loosening. And it was rough because I you know, I've had minor injuries similar to this before and they usually heal themselves. You know, I have lower back pain and sometimes I tweak my lower back and all the muscles tighten up. And eventually when the muscles release and I'm careful and how I'm moving, everything's back to normal again. Well, that wasn't the case for my neck, and unfortunately I went weeks and then months, ultimately over a year before I went to get any kind of professional help. Now, I did go to a chiropractor about a month or so after because I thought, K, something must be misaligned. I don't know what's going on.

[00:03:57] Then, you know, plenty was misaligned with...

Related Podcast Episode: E8: Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No
Recommended Book: Boundaries
Related Podcast Episode: E7: Codependecy: Your Happiness Matters Too

Forgive typos and odd grammatical mistakes—this was transcribed using the magic of AI, and while it's insanely awesome, it's not perfect.

[00:00:00] Welcome to the I Hear You podcast. Today's episode is a continuation of an earlier episode on the same topic, boundaries. Now, if you haven't yet listened to that episode, I strongly recommend you pause here and go back and listen to that one first, because today's discussion builds on concepts from that episode.

[00:00:20] Learning how to effectively set and hold boundaries is probably the single most important skill for living a healthy, happy life. And the reason is simple: boundaries provide healthy rules for navigating relationships; romantic, professional or otherwise. And yet, we live in a society that teaches and glorifies codependency. And again, if you're not familiar with that topic, go back and listen to that episode.

[00:00:46] We're taught that in order to be, quote unquote, kind, we have to give up our own needs and desires. Television, business, politics, even religion is filled with examples of poor boundary setting and poor emotional health. There are very few good examples of healthy, centered boundary individuals in this world, and so it's difficult for a lot of us to understand what emotional health looks like.

[00:01:15] So in today's episode, we dive deeper into the concept of boundaries and address a number of questions such as the following:.

[00:01:25] How do I know when I need to set a boundary?

[00:01:29] What if I'm setting a boundary with somebody, but the consequence that they have to face also affects me?

[00:01:36] What if I have a hard time enforcing or holding my boundaries? What can I do if my codependent tendencies take over?

[00:01:45] Are there times when it's appropriate to set boundaries with ourselves?

[00:01:47] What if I don't have a good explanation for enforcing my boundary? What if the other person keeps finding issues with my reason?

[00:01:58] We're gonna cover those topics, we're gonna dive deeper into boundaries in this episode. So without further ado, let's get into it.

[00:02:25] Okay. First off, I think it's helpful to do a quick recap whether you haven't yet listened to my first episode or it's simply been a while. Let's just quickly go over the basics before we dive into some of this deeper Q&A.

[00:02:39] So boundaries give us a sense of agency over our physical space, our body and our feelings. We all have limits. We all have things that we are and aren't okay with. Boundaries are what communicate that line to others. So the word boundary, though, can be a bit misleading because it conveys this idea of keeping yourself separate from people. You might think, well, am I just walling myself off, walling off my heart?

[00:03:08] No, that's not what I'm talking about when I say boundaries. Boundaries are actually connecting points because they provide those healthy rules for navigating our relationships. In fact, quoting from a woman named Melissa Cote's, she's a licensed professional counselor. I fo...

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• Recommended Book: The Compound Effect

Forgive typos and odd grammatical mistakes—this was transcribed using the magic of AI, and while it's insanely awesome, it's not perfect.

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the I Hear You podcast. This show is dedicated to helping you live a more powerful, connected, joy filled life. And while we typically focus in on relationships and how to change our thinking and actions there, today we're taking a break from that, at least in part because while today's episode doesn't relate directly to relationships, it absolutely has an impact on them. And the reason that I'm talking about it today, is that it has an impact on your productivity as a human being.

[00:00:33] It has an impact on your dreams and on your passions and on your physical health, on your financial health and your financial stability. With really every element of your life, if you want to improve, if you want to be better, today's principal, the compound effect is one of the best ways to achieve that. Let's dive in.

[00:01:15] Alright, today's topic comes from The New York Times best selling book titled The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. Love, love, love this book. I read it. Gosh, I don't even know 15, 20 years ago. And it literally changed my life. I've got to find a different way of saying things because I feel like I say that every single episode. And yet, as as you're going to see here later on in the episode, I'm not exaggerating.

[00:01:45] It's so empowering. It's such a simple principle, but it makes such a difference. And so I'm going to cut right to the chase here. The core idea of this principle is that small, consistent actions result in massive success. The keyword here, though, is consistent. Small, consistent actions make all the difference.

[00:02:12] Now, I want to lead into this with a couple examples that Hardy shares from his book and they're pretty early on, the first he titles The Magic Penny. And so I want to relate this to you, I want to ask you this question. So if you were given the choice between taking three million dollars in cash today or a single penny that doubles in value every day for 31 days. Which would you choose? Now, you're probably skeptical because it seems like too obvious of a decision, and so you probably are assuming the penny must be the better choice. But why? And why is it so hard to believe that that's the better choice? Well, the issue is, is because it takes a lot longer to see the payoff of one penny doubling every day for 31 days.

[00:03:02] And it can be difficult to imagine that that could possibly be any bit as good or better than three million dollars in cold hard cash today. So let let's explore, though, what happens here. Let's say that you take the cold hard cash and your friend takes the penny that doubles. We go forward a few days here. Day five, your friend has 16 cents, a whopping 16 cents. You, on the other hand, have three million dollars. Maybe you've got a new car. You have a new house. You maybe even have a vacation home and you're living the dream. Life is good. Getting that cash upfront, amazing.

[00:03:41] And it's going to kind of look like that for a while. We fast forward day 6...