Sharing what turns you on with a partner can be scary. But it can also be hot, and emotionally rewarding.

This episode dives into one of the most common but rarely spoken fears in long-term relationships: what will happen if I share what I fantasize about? We unpack a fascinating new study on why people do (and don’t) share their sexual fantasies with partners — and the surprising gap between what people fear will happen, and what actually does.

We'll cover:

• Why fear of judgment often outweighs the actual risk
• The five most common reasons people keep fantasies private
• How to explore whether sharing is right for you, using my free, step-by-step exercise

The study covered in this episode is: A Content Analysis of Reasons for Disclosing Sexual Fantasies and Partner Responses by Kimberley et al., published in The Journal of Sex Research.

📝 Grab your free fantasy reflection exercise here

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Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?

In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.

We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible load
• The difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)
• How male and female desire differ — and why it's not just biology

The study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research.

📝 Grab your free relationship equity checklist here, created by Malmö Stad, Sweden.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Is it normal for desire to fade in long-term relationships? Or can passion actually last?

This episode breaks down a powerful study of over 38,000 people in long-term relationships to uncover what really keeps sex satisfying over time. Spoiler: it’s not just about frequency or trying something new — it’s about how couples connect.

We explore the 7 key habits that set passionate couples apart — and the biggest mistake many people make.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotional intimacy is just as important as physical pleasure
• How sexual satisfaction changes over time — and why it doesn’t have to decline
• What couples who still feel passion years in are doing differently

The study covered in this episode is What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study, by Frederick et al., published in The Journal of Sex Research:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2015.1137854

🎧 Listen in — and if it sparks something, share it with someone you care about.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link