Get paid to watch christmas movies, or don't and let me get the job. Morgan Freeman's thanksgiving sounds LIT! Say good bye to rapey plant.

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Dude just left 40 kids at the wrong bus stop. I'm not sure what Danger has going on with his Amazon dude but I'm not here to judge. Do I smell like pee?

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Who's gonna drink lemonade from some weirdo, unless they're hot? Don't thumbs up me, you asshole. Gum smackin' son of a bitch.

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Just hop on a cruise already bro!!! Family drama at Turkey day. Audrey Marie Schnieder doesn't give a single eff!!!

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Lance has mice probs. Keep your carp face away from me! World Toilet Day!!!

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It's called a carrot ffs. Your Australian accent makes you seem funnier than you really are. Totes Charcrutes.

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That was no bear. Plastic is the devil. This bitch freeze dried her cat.

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Dude was dead in the tanning bed for 3 days. National PIckle Day has everyone goin' nuts! Danger watches a baby being born on air and it's awesome.

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