Listen as educational and child psychologist, Dr. Peter D'Lima speaks with William Costello, an evolutionary psychology researcher who has conducted one of the largest studies on young men who identify as incels (involuntary celibates).

Incels perceive themselves as ineffective in sexual and romantic relationships and are known for their online misogynistic behaviour. They are also often treated with contempt in society.

William presents an alternative view: that this group of young men are disenfranchised, lonely with high levels of poor mental health and a low belief in their ability to be successful in life.

We consider together the implications for male mental health and well-being more generally, especially in an online world of often negative male role models who have grown in popularity recently.

We also talk about the Magnificent Boys Project, a programme developed by Not The Easy Way to help teenage boys grapple with issues affecting boys and men today, seek out positive role models, and become a man who contributes positively to society.


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Thank you to the wonderful John Duffy for the Not The Easy Way jingle.

Dr. Peter D’Lima and Dr. Claire McGuiggan contribute to the creation of content for Not The Easy Way in their personal capacity. The views expressed are their own and those of Not The Easy Way and do not necessarily reflect the views of the local authority or health services or for which they work.

The information contained in this podcast/vlog is for general information purposes only. The podcast, vlog, blog, and website and the materials available through it are not intended to constitute professional psychological advice and should not be relied on or treated as a substitute for specific advice relevant to particular circumstances.

Speak Space is where we bring two people together who have different views on a sensitive topic. Not to debate. Not to persuade. Instead, we bring them together to listen and understand in good faith.

Our guests today are Ishaan Shah and Harry Wilkinson.

Ishaan Shah is an 18-year-old international anti-human trafficking, gender equality and climate action young leader. In 2017, he founded Stolen Dreams, a youth-led organization working with global stakeholders to counter trafficking in persons, especially women and children. He is a National Gender Youth Advocate to UN Women and Youth Focal Point for countering transnational organized crime to the UN Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC). Since 2016, he has travelled deep into the anti-human trafficking and gender equality movements, learning at speed and recognising intersectionalities. Ishaan is working to drive concrete action by facilitating the meaningful inclusion of youth in decision making spaces from the grassroots to international levels.

Harry Wilkinson began working as a researcher in the House of Lords for Lord Lawson of Blaby, and for the Global Warming Policy Foundation (GWPF) in 2015. Since then he has been made Head of Policy of Net Zero Watch, the GWPF’s campaign arm, and has become a regular guest on GB News and TalkRadio as a spokesperson on climate and energy policy issues. As of February of this year, he has also been working part-time as a Senior Researcher for Craig Mackinlay MP in the House of Commons.

Today's Speak Space involves discussion of the statement below:

Measures to reduce climate change need to be put in place no matter the cost.

The principles of our Speak Charter underpin the conversation: https://nottheeasyway.org/Speak%20Charter%20(1).pdf

This is our first Speak Space.

Speak Space is where we bring two people together who have different views on a sensitive topic. Not to debate. Not to persuade. Instead, we bring them together to listen and understand in good faith.

Our guests today are Dr Patricia Casey and Dr Peter D’Lima.

Patricia is a consultant psychiatrist and writes a column in the Irish Independent. She is a patron of the Iona Institute, which is a Christian advocacy group that promotes the place of marriage and religion in society and emphasises that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Peter is an educational psychologist and co-founder of Not The Easy Way. He has completed his thesis on ways to reduce extremism in society and is interested in how we create unified and tolerant societies. He has co-written an article about the importance of free speech for children’s cognitive, social, and emotional development. Peter is also gay, which is relevant to the statement up for discussion:

Gay couples make just as good parents as straight couples.

The principles of our Speak Charter underpin the conversation: https://nottheeasyway.org/Speak%20Charter%20(1).pdf