Dr. Joe Nowinski's book ideas comes from working in the trenches, not from any ivory tower. Episode 77 of Rebellion Dogs Radio looks at a run-of-the-mill problem in early recovery that doesn’t get enough ink: if we are together in a relationship and you go to treatment and come home to stay sober, should I live a sober life too? It’s your problem. Well, that’s one way to look at it; others would feel we are in this together.

Here’s another case: a couple is together for a long time. Neither has ever had a legal or health scare because of using alcohol or other drugs. Still, their consumption has increased, and the relationship is suffering from some consequences. Should they consider being a sober couple, or is sober just for people diagnosed as severe on the alcohol use disorder spectrum?

Dr. Joe Nowinski has a new book (Johns Hopkins Press Health Book, September 10, 2024) called Sober Love: How to Quit Drinking as a Couple. This is from case studies over years of family practice as a clinical psychologist.

Former Chief Medical Officer of Hazelden Betty Ford says, “Dr. Nowinski is a highly qualified expert who uses the latest research and his clinical expertise to couples that recognize that alcohol has interfered with their lives." Dr. Marvind D. Seppala goes on to say, "Alcohol can undermine even the best of relationships. Sober Love delivers the information necessary to develop a plan.”

Addiction Medicine doctor Ray Baker says, “I am delighted to recommend this gem of a book! It offers the knowledge, tips and skills needed for recovery people in intimate relationships to interconnect on their mutual journey of growth. It’s one of a kind.”

If you’re a Rebellion Dogs Radio long-timer, you know Joe’s a repeat guest. Mary C and Joe C talk with Dr. Nowinski after reading his book. If you are new to Rebellion Dogs Radio, visit our website for links and further discussions:

Recovery After Rehab: A Guide for the Newly Sober and Their Loved Ones (2021) on Episode 62 & If You Work It It Works! The Science Behind the 12 Steps (2015) on Episode 12.

Please join the conversation; for social media, contact info, links and show notes, info on Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life and other great books etc, visit:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/home-page

What’s Different?

• The first 164 pages are now 122 pages – by simplifying the language.
• More “gender-balanced” – e.g. jaywalker is female; but not gender-neutral using “they”.
• The wording of the Steps has not changed from Him/His, but in other places,gender-balanced He/Him/His “may have changed to God”.
• Only “Dr. Bob’s Nightmare” is included in the stories (more on some problematic Doctor Bob language to follow).

Plain language interpretation reduced 164 pages by 25%—a noteworthy reduction. How Bill wrote does not fit in as far as a contemporary discussion about alcohol use disorder or addiction in general. Here’s an example: it is unimaginable to expect to hear or read this abstract and flowery description of alcohol use disorder at your doctor’s office:

“But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is finitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics, these things are poison (“How It Works,” p. 66).”

Referred to in this show:

THE BLOG POST (Read on PDF or Website) includes AA membership from 2002 to 2020, which changed (+/-) over 20 years and more.

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/blog/blog/7425695/plain-language-big-book-coming-soon-who-what-where-when-why

Biographies of the 28 AA stories in the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous (and other AA stories)Referred

https://library.iusb.edu/search-find/archives/gcarchive/docs/ref-bb-authors.pdf

2020 Membership Survey from Great Britain General Service Office+

81% of newcomers and 94% of people sober 10+ years believe in a higher power (Great Britain and English-speaking Central Europe). Of those who believe, ⅓ believe in a religious god, ⅔ believe in a secular higher power. See page 11.

https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/AA-Membership-Survey-2020.pdf

Other show notes....
https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/rebellious-radio/blog/7438907/plain-language-big-book-episode-76-rebellion-dogs-radio

Please join the conversation; for social media, contact info, links and show notes, info on Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life and other great books etc, visit:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/home-page

We look at history—why? Isn’t this a contemporary, or even future gazing look at recovery and addiction?

Well yes and yes. Yuval Noah Harari, PDH author of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind says, “History is not the study of past; history is the study of change; it’s not about remembering the past; it’s about liberating ourselves from it.”

Episode 75 of Rebellion Dogs Radio explores three calls to action by Alcoholics Anonymous that need our attention in 2024:

1. New stories of AA diversity today are needed to update the 48-year-old Do You Think You’re Different? Let’s get our freak on; if you ever felt you can’t or won’t blend into AA, we want you to help demonstrate what we mean by, “We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.”

2. About our primary literate in AA—The Big Book + 12 & 12: rewrite it? Or reify it? Grappling with a need to adapt to changing times, being sensitive to change-resistant tendencies, the trustees’ Literature Committee is polling members, looking for their marching orders: preserve what’s written; or breathe fresh life into last millennium’s AA message and widen our gateway? Directly from AA’s General Service Office, we have these seven questions for you.

3. The 2022, much anticipated, AA membership survey is posted with current data on AA for all to see; counselors, healthcare and criminal court diversion professional who refer people to AA, the general public and last but not least AA members to show how we are doing, from our home groups to the USA/Canada General Service Conference at reaching all those who want or need AA to be available, equitably, and effectively. Our responsibility declaration nudges us to look at this new info, see who were are serving, who we may be failing and confront how, whenever, wherever, someone reaches out, we want the hand of AA always to be there (for everyone regardless of age, race, gender, creed, cultural touchstones). There’s information for the first time about USA/Canada AA’s use of online meetings and our preferences. It’s like those pioneering driving blind days all over again.

DIVERSITY: What makes you different?

If you are someone in recovery and you were helped by peer-to-peer, maybe AA specifically, did you immediately feel at home at your first meeting, or did you feel different that the group you were exposed to? If you felt or feel different, we have a humble writing assignment for you as our first topic.

The AA Literature desk wants your story, 500—800 words. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DIFFERENT? is the 48-year-old pamphlet #13 that tipped the scale in my own should-I-stay or should-I-go sobriety. I found people (stories) spoken in my language for the first time in AA. If you do not know this collection of AA stories, click the link to read. Thirteen essays of people who felt marginalized, a teenager, atheist, clergy, high bottom, low bottom, movie star, person of color, LGBTQIA+, share the barriers and bridges navigated to find a rightful seat in AA. How timely to hear from a 15-year-old when I was a teenage alcoholic. I was happy to read what Ed the AA atheist and Jan the AA agnostic had to say about sobriety without an anthropomorphic personal higher power.

It's a great recovery tool; and it’s old. Today’s teenager doesn’t have any use for 1970s teenage angst; it could be unrelatable, leaving gender id

Please join the conversation; for social media, contact info, links and show notes, info on Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life and other great books etc, visit:

https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/home-page