SWM 137 - Why we don't spank our children. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Last week, Gary Thomas posted an article on his substack on the topic of discipline vs. punishment—not taking a stance but rather offering it up as a controversial conversation starter. Reading it made me curious about something—does your view of hell change your parenting approach? After all, if God is our example, and you believe that hell is eternal punishment, does that then lend to a more heavy-handed approach to parenting versus someone who believes that hell is an act of mercy?

I posted that question in our forum, and it then led to a discussion on using physical punishment on children. I spent a fair bit of time in the last week or two writing on that thread, and so I thought I’d repurpose it here for those who might be curious about how we raised our children.

We, Christina and I, don’t believe hell is eternal torture. We don’t believe such a view is in keeping with the Bible. We grew up in a denomination that taught it was, and it was one of the reasons we left because the doctrine couldn’t stand up to either biblical scrutiny or logic as we saw it. If you want to know why and/or argue that stance, I fully welcome you to read the post What happens when you die? That’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post is to share why we don’t spank our children, and now that my children are growing up into adults, what the outcome of such a choice has been.

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Gary Thomas' article - Discipline vs Punishment (Substack)
• What happens when you die? (Post)
• Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now To Stop Hitting Our Children (Study)
• Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses (Study)
• The Research on Spanking and Its Implications for Intervention (PDF)

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June 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife thinks she has to be mean to our children
• Golden showers (again)
• Wife can’t decide if she loves me or not
• Just because you’re experienced, doesn’t mean you’re qualified

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• SWM 029 - Fantasy affairs, anal sex, golden showers, work during sex and low drives
• BDSM Survey

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If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

SWM 135 - It's good to try new things. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point. Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers. When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made. “It’s good to try new things.” They didn’t have to eat it all but had to try it—a decent try, not a touch to the tongue followed by an exaggerated exclamation of disgust.

Teaching children to at least give something new a fair shot, I think, has applications later on in life as well. I often talk to husbands and wives whose spouses simply will not try anything new in the bedroom. One will bring up an idea, and it’s immediately shot down by the “picky” spouse—the one who is perfectly happy with the flavour of vanilla every night.

Today, I want to talk about why I think it’s good to try new things - not only when it comes to food, but also in the bedroom - or outside of the bedroom, depending on how much privacy you have. We’re going to talk about the interplay between dopamine, controlled risk-taking, adventure and trust in marriages as it pertains to sex and more.

Don't forget to participate in our BDSM survey - whether you engage in that sort of behaviour or not.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.