Well, I have just accepted step number one as a “fact” of my life. I was truly at the very lowest point in my existence. Nothing else mattered, other than to run away, keep drinking, and wallow in my bottomed-out self-esteem and self-pity.

Now, here comes one of the many miraculous parts of this 12-step program. It is the answer to the problem I recognized and admitted in step one. As you may have heard me say many times before, I easily compared myself to the story about the person that got hit by a bus. They were trying to cross a busy street in downtown New York City. The life had changed to “don’t walk”, but that person decided they could make it across the street anyway, and avoid the oncoming traffic. Well, they no sooner stepped off the curb when they were hit by a bus. After spending quite a while in the hospital, they were finally released to continue with their life. They found themselves at the same street crossing, with the blinking “don’t walk” sign. Once again, the insanity set in and they said to themselves, “this time I can do it. This time it will be different”. Once again they were hit by the bus and started the cycle all over again. They kept repeating their behavior and became sad and devastated. This is what happened to my life, my “bus” being alcohol. I was truly at bottom when it seemed like I saw the first step for the first time. I could not manage my life! My behavior had truly become a sign of insanity. One definition of insanity I found is: unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship. This is certainly the point I was at. Was I doomed to this wife forever? No, because here is the beginning of an answer. Here is step number two.

I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

I hope you enjoy and derive a benefit from this podcast.