📋 Episode Summary (Long)

In this episode, recorded on their anniversary, Marc and Emily reflect on 30 years of marriage—and use it as a lens to explore the role of story and identity in leadership, coaching, and everyday life.

They revisit their shared love of children’s books, read-alouds during 2 a.m. nursing sessions, and the way stories have always been a thread in their family, work, and lives. From The Giving Tree to Anne of Green Gables, storytelling was how they passed on values, built imagination, and created connection.

The conversation moves into coaching and leadership development, exploring why so many people—especially leaders—discredit or downplay their own stories. They share practical insights about helping clients recognize the narratives they repeat (both helpful and limiting), and how stories become mirrors for values and identity.

This episode also includes a reflection on where they’ve been and where they’re going next. From international travel that didn’t happen to the possibility of RV adventures ahead, Marc and Emily keep it honest, reflective, and lighthearted. Whether you’re celebrating an anniversary of your own or simply thinking about how your story shapes your path, this one is full of warm wisdom.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Stories shape identity—and that’s true for individuals, families, and organizations.
• We often undervalue our own stories because we’re too close to them.
• Leadership coaching can help surface patterns and narratives clients may not even realize they’re repeating.
• There’s power in asking, “Is this story still serving me—or my team?”
• Permission to share your story is sometimes the most transformational part of coaching.

🗣 Quote Highlights

“It’s just my life. It’s not my identity.” – Emily
“Story is how we wire the brain—and how we invite others to understand us.” – Marc
“One of the most important things we do in coaching is help people recognize the stories they’re living in.” – Emily
“We’ve said yes to almost every adventure.” – Emily
“I’d rather say I’m sorry than spend a lifetime asking ‘what if?’” – Marc

🔗 Resources & Mentions

• The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
• The Surprising Gift of Doubt by Marc A. Pitman
• United States Bartenders’ Guild (USBG) leadership session
• Books mentioned: The Lord of the Rings, Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, Anne of Green Gables
• Coaching references: Co-Active Coaching, story-based tools from Quadrant 3 Leadership Coach Certification

In this episode, Marc and Emily welcome their longtime friend and colleague Cherian Koshy—a nonprofit leader, AI entrepreneur, international speaker, and one of the earliest champions of the Quadrant 3 Leadership Coach Certification. They reflect on how their friendship started during early-pandemic Zoom happy hours and evolved into shared coaching, learning, and laughs across years and time zones.

Cherian shares his take on identity, career shifts, and curiosity—from his time pioneering AI use in fundraising to his deep appreciation for the Iowa State Fair (yes, it’s serious). He explains why curiosity, clarity, and catalyzing change are the throughlines in his work, and how asking “Why did that happen?”—even when others don’t—is part of what makes him tick.

The episode explores the tension between curiosity and worry, how to work with people who don’t share the same drive to go deep, and what it means to honor people’s journeys without projecting your own. Marc and Emily also ask Cherian what he’s still figuring out—his answer? How to live with both hindsight and foresight, for the sake of the people and causes he cares about most.

This is a thoughtful and occasionally hilarious conversation about leadership, legacy, and lifelong learning.

Key Takeaways

• Asking “Why did that happen?” can be the start of major innovation—if you let curiosity lead.
• Leaders don’t have to “fix” others—they can offer space, perspective, and permission.
• Clarity is different than simplicity. Clarity makes room for nuance.
• Being curious doesn’t mean you have the answers—it means you’re not done learning.
• You can take calls from the state fair and still lead like a pro.

Quote Highlights

“I hope I help people connect dots they didn’t know were there.” – Cherian
“Curiosity, clarity, and catalyst—that’s the arc of my work.” – Cherian
“We’re still trying to figure out what to do in this moment, with what we know from 30 years ago and 30 years from now.” – Cherian
“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” – Marc (channeling Doc Brown)

Resources & Mentions

• Kindsight – Cherian’s current organization
• The Surprising Gift of Doubt by Marc A. Pitman
• The Iowa, Minnesota, and Texas State Fairs
• Quadrant 3 Leadership Coach Certification (Q3LC)
• FedEx logo Easter egg (the hidden arrow)
• Back to the Future references (obviously)

In this episode, Marc and Emily explore their very different relationships with goal setting. What starts as a reflection on abandoned international travel dreams quickly turns into a candid conversation about how goals can serve—or burden—us.

Marc shares his long history of goal-setting (and the ways it still trips him up), including his yearly list of 100 “magnet goals” and the mental gymnastics involved in sticking to goals like “visit one brewery a month.” Emily reflects on how her earliest experience with goal setting was punitive and tied to shame—shaping a lifelong tension with traditional goal frameworks.

They talk about neurodivergence, executive function, the false sense of completion that sometimes comes just from planning a goal, and the difference between forward-focused and backward-looking intentions. Along the way, they share practical reframes and offer each other new language for celebrating progress.

If you’ve ever struggled with how to make goal setting feel more human—or you’ve wondered whether there’s another way to approach productivity—this episode offers a thoughtful, honest, and often funny look at the topic.

Key Takeaways

• Not everyone has the same relationship with goals—some find them motivating, others experience them as shame-triggering.
• “Magnet Goals” can be a creative, idea-based alternative to rigid planning.
• Sharing goals publicly can create a false sense of completion.
• Neurodivergent brains often use emotional weight to create momentum, which can be both helpful and exhausting.
• Setting goals in retrospect (looking at what you did rather than what you planned) may be a more useful approach for some.

Quote Highlights

“I’m still figuring out how to set goals without shame being part of the process.” – Marc
“Maybe I’ll just do goal setting backwards—looking for the goals I didn’t know I set.” – Emily
“Goal setting feels like a dialect to you. For me, it still feels like a foreign language.” – Emily
“There’s a kind of figuring it out that feels like play—and a kind that feels like punishment.” – Emily
“I’ve been goal-setting since I was 14. And I’m still surprised how much pressure I put on myself.” – Marc

Resources & Mentions

• Magnet Goals Framework
• Enneagram Type 7 (referenced in Marc’s reflections on anticipation and follow-through)
• Zoho Campaigns & SpeakerFlow (tools Marc mentions wrangling)
• Shad Helmstetter, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy (classic goal-setting cassette tape influences)