In this episode, I delve into the concept of sex positivity, exploring what it truly means to embrace authenticity in our sexuality, gender expression, and intimate relationships. Drawing from Silva Neves, I define sex positivity as being true to oneself and making conscious, informed choices rooted in self-awareness. It’s about knowing who we are, what we want, and being unafraid to express that in ways that feel right for us.

I also highlight the importance of gender fluidity, sharing my own experiences of navigating the spectrum of masculinity and femininity. Understanding that these aspects of our identity are not fixed but rather fluid and evolving is crucial in fostering a healthy and fulfilling relationship with ourselves and others.

Sex isn’t just about physical intercourse—it’s about emotional intimacy and consent. I strongly believe that these elements are often overlooked, yet they are foundational to a positive sexual experience. That’s why I advocate for the concept of "cringe cafés"—safe spaces where we can discuss uncomfortable topics, challenge societal norms, and improve our communication around sex and relationships.

I also touch on the shortcomings of sexual education and the pervasive influence of pornography, which can distort our perceptions of sex and intimacy. It’s essential that we seek out better, more holistic sources of information to guide our sexual journeys.
Book Reference:
Silva Neves, Sexology - The Basics, Routledge

About Janet:
Janet is a Relationship Therapist and Coach based in the UK. She operates an online private therapy practice dedicated to helping couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation overcome relationship challenges and achieve deeper intimacy.
Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.
Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).
Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.
Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

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In this episode, I dive into the intricacies of sexual desire, exploring the often misunderstood dynamics between men and women. One of the key points I touch on is how men frequently grapple with expressing their emotions, which can lead them to seek connection through sex. This isn't just about physical pleasure—it's about the release of oxytocin, a powerful hormone that can create an almost addictive response, particularly for those whose early childhood connections might have been disrupted.

I also break down the differences between spontaneous and responsive desire. Men typically experience more spontaneous arousal, where sexual desire can arise out of the blue. On the other hand, women often need more sensual build-up—a gradual process that involves emotional and physical connection before they feel aroused.

But here's the crux of it: open communication is vital. Being honest about our sexual preferences and embracing emotional vulnerability can deepen intimacy and help us move past the common misconceptions that often cloud our understanding of sexual desire. By having these open and honest conversations, we can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

About Janet:
Janet is a Relationship Therapist and Coach based in the UK. She operates an online private therapy practice dedicated to helping couples of any gender identity or sexual orientation overcome relationship challenges and achieve deeper intimacy.
Janet trains healthcare professionals with her Sex Talk Education curriculum to manage Harmful Sexualised Behaviour. As a former teacher, she believes education is crucial for the development of relationships and personal protection for both adults and children.
Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee & being an unexpected partner of a sex & porn addict (compulsive user).
Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.
Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

NEW MEMBERSHIP
~ Free Flow Relationships ~ experience the freedom of authentic connections within a community that supports a genuine balance of giving and receiving.
FIND ME: https://www.linktr.ee/janetsimpson

FOLLOW ME: Instagram: @be.shamelessly.you

LinkedIn: ...

In this episode of Taboo 2 Talked About, I’m opening up about a topic that we don’t often talk about: grief and loss. For many of us, it's uncomfortable, sometimes even taboo, to speak openly about these emotions. But today, I’m sharing my personal story of saying goodbye to my dog, Velma, and how that experience shaped the way I view grief and honouring those we’ve lost.

One technique that helped me through this difficult time is something I call "negative reflection." It might sound counterintuitive, but it’s about imagining the worst-case scenarios to remind ourselves of how precious our present moments are. With Velma, it made me appreciate every little thing about her while she was still here. And it’s a practice I now carry into other relationships, especially with my grandson. By facing the potential for loss, I’ve learned to live with a deeper sense of gratitude and presence.

In this episode, I explore how we can honour our grief, not as something to avoid, but as something to integrate into our lives. Loss has a way of fostering growth if we allow it, and it can even lead us to joy and resilience. Our pets, like Velma, teach us invaluable lessons about gratitude, patience, and unconditional love. Their memory can inspire us to become better, more grounded versions of ourselves.

I also reflect on how these moments of grief, while painful, offer us a unique opportunity to live more fully. The pain of loss doesn’t have to hold us back; it can propel us forward, helping us to find new ways to honour those we’ve lost and the lessons they’ve given us. So, let’s talk about grief—not just as an ending, but as an essential part of living authentically and with purpose.

About Janet:

Janet Simpson MBACP (Accred.), PGCE, BSc. (Hons) Counselling Adults & Couples, Child Counselling (Cert), Psychosexual (Cert)

Janet is a UK based Relationship Therapist & Sex Talk Educator. Her first profession was in teaching. Janet's work is influenced by her experiences as an adoptee, being a partner of a porn & sex addict and her love of children.
Janet has worked as a Child Counsellor in primary schools, adult counsellor at Alder Hey Hospital (Staff Clients and child bereaved parents) and a School Safeguarding Supervisor.

Janet brings this wealth of expertise into her Therapy & bespoke Sex Talk Education training for parents & professions around Relationships, Porn Awareness, Intimacy and Sex Talk Confidence & Competency.

JOIN my Facebook group Taboo 2 Talked About if you are a parent and want some support around Sex Talk Confidence.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janet.simpson.756

Email me to suggest a topic: hello@janetsimpson-ltd.com

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Instagram: @be.shamelessly.you

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