Numbers: we use them to measure time, count calories, and set speed limits. They’re supposed to bring order to the chaos of life—but what happens when numbers get a little too absurd? In this laugh-filled episode of The Absurdists, co-hosts Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson unpack the bizarre world of numbers with stories so ridiculous, they’ll have you checking your calculator twice. “It’s Just One More Donut—Relax!” Mary kicks things off with a story about the Baker’s Dozen. Why 13 instead of 12? Turns out, bakers in medieval England had good reason to throw in an extra loaf (or donut). If they shortchanged customers, they’d face severe penalties, from public ridicule to fines—so to be safe, they’d toss in a bonus baked good. Marlo chimes in with his own vision of modern bakers yelling, “Fine, take 13, just don’t sue me!” A sweet deal, if you ask us. Speed Limits That Don’t Make Sense Imagine cruising down a road, only to see a speed limit of 29 mph. Why not 30? Mary and Marlo explore these bizarre laws, pointing out places where 29, 31, or even 8 mph speed limits exist. Marlo jokes, “Is there some mystical traffic safety wizard who insists on prime numbers?” Whatever the reason, they agree—these signs are as confusing as a pie chart on a pizza box. Friday the 13th: A Recipe for Suspicion Ah, the dreaded Friday the 13th. Mary dives into the ancient superstition that has made hotel elevators skip the 13th floor and brides shiver when a wedding lands on this date. With its origins linked to Norse mythology, the Last Supper, and sheer human paranoia, it’s no wonder Marlo quips, “If 13’s so unlucky, why don’t bakers just skip it?” Decimal Points: Tiny Mistakes, Huge Absurdities The duo takes a hilarious detour into the world of decimal disasters. Did you know Popeye’s love of spinach—and the supposed iron content of the leafy green—was all thanks to a misplaced decimal point? One little error turned spinach into the superhero of vegetables, skyrocketing sales by 33% and cementing Popeye’s biceps into cartoon legend. Mary muses, “How many kids had to suffer through spinach dinners because of a math error?” Why 12 Ounces for Soda? Marlo then pops open the can on soda sizes—specifically, 12 ounces. Why not 10? Why not 13 (lucky or not)? The pair unravels the quirky history of the 12-ounce can, rooted in imperial measurements and packaging efficiency. “Twelve might sound random,” Mary jokes, “but it’s perfect for making you feel bad when you finish one and immediately want another.” The Five-Second Rule: Science Ruins Everything If you’ve ever dropped a cookie on the floor and yelled, “Five-second rule!”, you’re not alone. But Mary and Marlo dig into the science that debunks this age-old tradition. Turns out, bacteria don’t care about time limits—they’re faster than you reaching for that fallen French fry. Still, Marlo stands firm: “I’ll take my chances for a donut.” Absurd Number Trivia: More Than You Ever Wanted to Know From base-12 math (why do clocks use it but schools don’t teach it?) to marketing’s love for prices ending in $0.99 (“It’s practically free!”), this episode takes you on a whirlwind tour of number absurdities. Mary and Marlo even poke fun at unusual holidays tied to numbers—because why shouldn’t March 14th (3.14) be a day to eat pie? Why You Should Tune In If you love numbers, hate math, or just want a reason to laugh at the silly systems humans invent, this episode of The Absurdists is for you. Mary Murphy and Marlo Anderson keep things light, funny, and endlessly entertaining as they unravel the numerical nonsense all around us. Find us at wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Stay absurd!
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