I am off the grid for Episode 15 because I'm skipping town due to a family emergency, so you get short and hot takes about a few dumb stories. The City of Huntington Beach spent a whole bunch of tax dollars on an MAGA plaque at their library. I also take a quick tour through stories like the Nebraska opossum that got herself sick after breaking into a house and binging on an entire chocolate cake. We FEEL you. We really do. Congratulations to Bigfoot, who became California's official cryptid this week. We have questions, too. A woman paid a dear price for a couple selfies. And if there is someone you love in your life, go tell them. Do it now.

As my grandmother said, Happy Valentime's Day from The Dumbest Story of the Week! Episode 14 has got everything. Check it! Nothing can stop rock & roll, except maybe fatbergs. Teslas are getting vandalized nationwide. I wonder why. California's glory hole is magnificent. The Gulf of Amexico has an identity crisis, but it will always be The Sears Tower to us. RFK Jr. gets a new gig that will affect tens of millions of people, no thanks to polio survivor Senator Mitch McConnell. Exactly where is a bridge too far for Republicans? Here's a hint: It exists only in their front yards. And President Musk teaches Donald Trump an important lesson. Who's your daddy, Donny?

Lucky episode number 13! Eggs are nearly as valuable as gold. Trump cleans DEI house and fires a four star admiral. Just how super is the Super Bowl anyway? Democrats try to out-hopeless one another in their circular firing squad. Who among you is ready to buy a timeshare on the Gaza Riviera?!? Trump floods the zone. Again. Again. Surprise! Interviews are edited. And DOGE bros get their day in the sun. Too bad they're assholes.

Episode 12 is chock full of dumb stories, just like the overstuffed week in the news! A Florida high school principal hosts a rager, while elsewhere in Florida a man eats so many meats and cheeses that cholesterol oozes from his pores (GROSS). I had a unique opportunity to tell the president that he is number one. The new White House Press Secretary straight-up lies about sending millions of dollars worth of condoms to Gaza. Trump doubles down on his ongoing bullshit about the elusive Great California Spigot. Republicans want to piss off Native Americans by putting Trump's double chins on Mount Rushmore. And a tragedy illustrates that the new president has yet another opportunity to remind us that for him there is no bottom.

This episode goes to eleven! Snoop Dogg and Da Jewels rock the house at the Crypto Ball, whatever the hell that is. Biden and Trump run wild on pardons. The tariffs are coming, the tariffs are coming! Dubya wants to stop the world and get off. The FOP gets punked. TikTok is back from the dead and we still don't know if that's good or bad. The Band's final curtain call. Elon Musk is a Nazi. Or he isn't. If it walks like a fascist and it talks like a fascist and it salutes like a fascist...

Hey. We've survived the fires and we consider ourselves lucky. We unpacked all our irreplaceable shit that has been sitting by the door for the last week. Thankfully, we have an army of online trolls to tell us what California is doing wrong about all these wildfires. Is Crowdfunding a blessing or a curse? Or both? Biden takes his bow and leaves a complicated legacy in his wake. (See what I did there?) The Republicans don't give a hoot about traditions. Unless Democrats violate them, of course. Trump was born on Flag Day, so Old Glory can't be anywhere but at full staff for inauguration day, right? RIGHT? TikTok's ticker doesn't have many beats left, it seems. And Trump is back, baby. Hoo-fucking-ray.

It has been a rough week. Unprecedented events have rendered my hometown of Los Angeles into a smoky and still-burning hellscape. Multiple friends have lost everything, and for some reason a bunch of armchair critics in flyover states are suddenly experts in how to fight wildfires. Most people are safe in Southern California, but none of us are OK. If you'd like to donate, contact me and I will point you in a number of helpful directions. Also, surprise! Donald Trump is above the law. America is not living up to its promise. But I guess we already knew that. Thanks for listening.

Episode eight! Spoiler alert! Bigfoot isn't real. How the Spotify CEO Daniel Elk got lots and lots of money by screwing musicians. Intrigue and high drama at a chess tournament. Does Elon Musk have a Clark Kent-ish alter-ego? Trump gets the shaft in the form of a big fine. Dry January is for quitters. And a eulogy for a decent man. Thanks for listening!