The Session: Words We Shouldn’t Use, from Tom’s daily devotionals on Facebook

The words we say are very powerful. It’s amazing what happens when someone says a blessing over you. It is capable of lifting your spirits or encouraging you when you’re feeling down.

The words we use are also very reflective of what is going on in a person’s heart. Matthew 15:11 teaches, “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Paul also mentions it in Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Later in Ephesians 5:4 Paul not only talks about no filthiness or foolishness coming out of our mouths, but that we should speak words of thanksgiving.

He writes, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Proverbs also encourages us to bless others. In Proverbs 11:25 we read,

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Later Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Although there are more words we shouldn’t use, here is a short list of some very important ones.

“Liar” is a good example of a word that should not be used in family relationships, and specifically in parent- child relationships. Being called a liar can be hurtful and impact a loved one’s reputation. A better way to process what a child might have said is to say, “This doesn’t make sense to me”, or “That doesn’t sound accurate.”

Using the term “lazy" can be very derogatory, expressing a low opinion of someone. What appears as “laziness” might actually be influenced by factors such as mental health, burnout, or simply not finding a task sufficiently compelling. This would make it even more hurtful if you use the term lazy with an individual struggling with mental health or burnout conditions.

Calling someone “stupid” is a very condescending and insulting way to speak to someone, as if they were ignorant. Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect.

Action Point:

What is the condition of your heart? How are you speaking to others?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.