Today I was thinking about the quiet voice inside me. It’s not the one that I call self-talk that likes to beat me up. It’s the one that tells me what “the next right thing” is. I had a long talk with my mom today about life and death, and I thought about how much energy exists inside us while we’re alive. When someone passes, it fascinates me to think about where that energy goes. I’ve come to imagine that it becomes a part of my Higher Power, the force that is everything outside of me that pulls me forward through my life. It comforts me to believe that the energy from the people I’ve lost is still here fueling my sobriety and healing. That belief brings me peace in grief and gives purpose to the voice I hear guiding me through hard stuff.

That voice used to sound very different. When I was drinking, the voice inside my head was impulsive, selfish, and destructive. It served up instant gratification and shame. But today, in sobriety and stroke recovery, I hear a different voice when I pause instead of react. It’s quieter, patient, and tender. It reminds me to rest, show up for life, and do the right thing even when I don’t want to. The voice remains steady and forgiving when I don’t listen to it.

So, what do you believe that voice is? I’m learning to trust it, pause and listen, and believe that everything is okay right this minute, even when I don’t have all the answers.

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