Ever burst into tears during a massage or felt grief bubble up when you’re just trying to sleep? You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. In this episode, Dr. Misty pulls back the curtain on fascia: your body’s secret emotional archivist.

We’ll break down what fascia actually is (think: way sexier than raw chicken), why it hoards every microtrauma and shutdown, and how those mysterious aches, pains, and restless nights are actually your body keeping score. From chronic jaw tension to pelvic floor pain to the sleep-shame spiral, you’ll learn why your “tight hips” are holding old grief, why your jaw’s clenching on unsaid truths, and why stretching just isn’t enough.

Most importantly, we’ll explore erotic rest—not just as self-care, but as an act of radical rebellion and embodied pleasure for trauma-impacted, neurodivergent, and queer bodies. Get practical tools for fascial release (no, not torture with foam rollers), and learn why tenderness—not performance—is your body’s true path to safety, pleasure, and finally, real rest.

Listen in for:

• The real deal on fascia as emotional memory

• How trauma and shame live in connective tissue

• The “fascia-sleep-shame loop” (and how to break it)

• Science-backed, anti-perfectionist tools for reclaiming rest and pleasure

• Why erotic rest is a liberation movement, not a wellness trend

Mentioned: Download this episode’s worksheet, “Mapping the Body’s Bedtime Stories,” exclusively in The Ember Vault.

• (00:00:03) - Why Your Fascia Holds You Back
• (00:04:27) - How Fascia Is the Keeper of Your Emotional History
• (00:09:53) - Fascial Holding Patterns and the Sleep Struggle
• (00:16:12) - How to Rest Your Fascial Tension
• (00:18:58) - Fascial Release for Emotional Unwind
• (00:22:16) - Body's Fascia Memory and Rest

Why does your brain turn into a haunted house the minute you finally feel safe enough to rest? Why do so many trauma-impacted, neurodivergent adults struggle with sleep—even when nothing is “wrong” on the outside? Welcome to Untamed Ember, where Dr. Misty dives headfirst into the Polyvagal Paradox—that infuriating reality where your body refuses to relax, no matter how perfect your sleep hygiene or how many weighted blankets you own.

In this episode, we break down:

• Why sleep is the ultimate act of vulnerability—and why your nervous system might see it as a threat, not a reward

• How trauma, neurodivergence, and chronic stress rewire your body’s ability to rest (and why “just relax” is a setup for shame)

• The difference between “tired but wired” insomnia and emotional collapse sleep—and why you might bounce between both

• The real role of fascia, hypervigilance, and your window of tolerance in sleep struggles (not just “bad habits”)

• How polyvagal theory reveals the secret language of your sleep cycles—plus what “false ventral” looks like at 2AM

• A client story that proves: Your sleep isn’t broken, your nervous system is just a damn good protector

• Radically practical, non-performative tools for reclaiming rest: deep pressure, rocking, Yoga Nidra, body scan journaling, and the lost art of letting your sleep be weird

This isn’t another lecture on blue light and bedtime routines. It’s a rebellious, trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly call to stop blaming yourself for sleepless nights and start building genuine nervous system safety—at your own pace, with your own rules.

PLUS: Vault members, don’t forget to grab this week’s worksheet, The Sleep Safety Map, to build your own personalized nervous system plan for rest at untamedember.com. And join our FREE newsletter for free weekly resources: untamedember.kit.com

Want more anti-shame, science-backed content?

• Listen to the Untamed Ember podcast wherever you get your podcasts

• Join The Ember Vault for weekly deep-dive worksheets and tools ($5/month)

#polyvagaltheory #trauma #neurodivergent #sleep #nervoussystem #insomnia #rest #healing #cptsd #adhd #autism #untamedember

• (00:00:07) - It's Always 3am Again
• (00:00:49) - How to Sleep When You're Unable to Sleep
• (00:02:15) - Why Sleep Isn't Safe For Some People
• (00:05:36) - Why Your Sleep Isn't Restful
• (00:09:14) - How Neurodivergence Affects Your Sleep
• (00:13:52) - How to Sleep Better With Chronic Insomnia
• (00:17:25) - The Most Ridiculous Part of Sleep Struggles
• (00:18:19) - Why You're Not Safe to Sleep
• (00:21:36) - 5 Ways to Rest Your Body (That Actually Work)
• (00:26:56) - Reclaiming Sleep in Your Nerves
• (00:29:05) - How to Get More Sleep

When someone in authority told you "your body isn't really yours," that messaging didn't just live in your mind—it rewired your nervous system. In this revolutionary episode, Dr. Misty exposes how high-control systems, particularly religious environments, strategically target sexuality as their primary mechanism of control. We dive deep into the neurobiology of religious sexual conditioning, exploring how it creates internal "parts" that continue enforcing these rules long after you've intellectually rejected them. But this isn't just about understanding the damage—it's about liberation. Discover practical, somatic approaches to reclaim your erotic sovereignty, decolonize your nervous system, and develop an embodied sexuality that genuinely belongs to YOU, not to systems that sought to control you. Because your pleasure isn't just personal—it's political resistance against institutions that weaponized shame to maintain power.

Ever wanted sex but found yourself mentally checking out, counting ceiling tiles, or suddenly reorganizing your mental sock drawer instead of feeling pleasure? In this raw, neuroscience-backed episode, Dr. Misty breaks down why your body sometimes hits the emergency eject button during intimacy—even when you enthusiastically consented. Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, we explore how trauma, religious shame, and societal conditioning create nervous system patterns that can override conscious desire. This isn't just theory—you'll get actual, practical, neurodivergent-friendly tools to expand your capacity for staying present during pleasure. Because your disconnect isn't a defect; it's your brilliant body trying to protect you. Time to reclaim your birthright to embodied joy as an act of radical resistance.

https://untamedember.com

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: The Unspoken Disconnect
• (00:01:02) - Understanding the Disconnect: You're Not Broken
• (00:01:37) - Polyvagal Theory: Decoding Your Nervous System
• (00:02:45) - Three Key Insights: Practical Neuroscience
• (00:05:13) - Recognizing Dysregulation: Signs and Symptoms
• (00:11:57) - The Window of Tolerance: Staying Present
• (00:15:51) - Practical Tools: Expanding Your Capacity for Pleasure
• (00:20:54) - Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Birthright to Pleasure
• (00:22:44) - Final Thoughts and Resources

Healing isn’t about linen pants, pastel lighting, and performing peace.

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty takes a flamethrower to the healing industrial complex—the whitewashed, commodified wellness machine that polices our grief, hijacks our rage, and sells calmness like a lifestyle brand.

You’ll hear:

• Why “high vibe only” is toxic nonsense

• How performative healing silences marginalized bodies

• What consent-based healing actually looks like

• How to build rituals that are messy, honest, body-inclusive—and actually yours

Plus: a listener question that hits deep—what do you do when healing spaces don’t feel safe, inclusive, or built for you?

✨ Spoiler: You stop shrinking to fit them. You start building something real.

Get the companion worksheet: Healing Isn’t Aesthetic – A Shame Detox for the Spiritually Over-It
Download it now inside The Ember Vault → untamedember.com

• (00:00:00) - Introduction to the week's episode on Untamed Ember
• (00:00:34) - The Healing Industrial Complex Exposed
• (00:01:55) - The Aesthetic of Modern Wellness
• (00:04:08) - Exclusion in Healing Spaces
• (00:05:22) - Weaponization of High Vibes Only
• (00:07:45) - Consent in Healing Spaces
• (00:12:53) - Building Personal Rituals
• (00:18:56) - Listener Question: Finding Inclusive Healing Spaces
• (00:22:47) - Conclusion and Soft Rage Blessing

What if your healing doesn’t look calm, graceful, or Instagram-worthy—and that’s exactly what makes it real?

In this episode, Dr. Misty rips into the toxic trap of performative healing—where spiritual practices become branding, regulation gets weaponized, and “high-vibe only” becomes emotional gaslighting.

We’re talking:

Why breathwork, yoga, and meditation sometimes don’t work (and why that’s not your fault)
Polyvagal theory (but make it sexy, sassy, and trauma-aware)
Rage, shutdown, and why calm is not the goal
️ Rebel healing rituals that work with your neurodivergent, overstimulated, gloriously messy body

Plus: a listener question that cracked our hearts open—"Why do I feel worse after breathwork?"

This episode is your permission slip to rage, shut down, scream into a towel, and call that shit sacred.

✨ Grab the companion worksheet: “Messy, Angry, Whole: A Nervous System Reclamation Map” inside The Ember Vault → untamedember.com

• (00:00:00) - Welcome to Untamed Ember: Rage-Cries, Cheetos & Real Healing
• (00:00:29) - Performative Healing: When Looking Healed Matters More Than Being Whole
• (00:01:09) - Polyvagal Theory 101: Why Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken
• (00:02:02) - The Reality of Performance Healing: Calm Mask, Screaming Body
• (00:09:08) - Weaponized Regulation: When “Stay Calm” Becomes Oppression
• (00:12:37) - Sacred Rage: The Intelligence of Emotional Fire
• (00:15:53) - Calm Isn’t the Goal: Dissociation in a Pretty Outfit
• (00:16:49) - Truth Over Performance: Reclaiming Your Nervous System
• (00:17:47) - Reclaiming Healing: Burn the Aesthetic, Keep the Aliveness
• (00:19:13) - Rebel Rituals: Healing Tools That Don’t Perform for Instagram
• (00:20:38) - Freeze-State Rituals: How to Come Back From Numbness
• (00:21:37) - Rest As Rebellion: Opting Out of the Healing Hustle
• (00:23:59) - Breathwork Backlash: Why It Sometimes Makes You Feel Worse
• (00:27:09) - Nervous System Alternatives: What to Try Instead of Breathwork
• (00:30:02) - Final Thoughts: You’re Not Too Much—You’re Finally Honest

What if your nervous system isn’t the problem—just the scripts it’s been forced to follow?

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty takes us deep into the erotic brain to unpack how binary gender roles confuse our arousal systems and disconnect us from pleasure. From polyvagal theory to sensory nuance, this one’s for the rebels, the neurospicy babes, and the caretakers who are tired of performing “sexy” instead of feeling it.

✨ Inside this episode:
– The four things your brain actually needs for arousal
– How masking and performance override your nervous system
– Why desire looks different when you're neurodivergent
– What to ask yourself when you’re stuck in a role that doesn’t fit

Plus: Listener letters from “M” and “Jordan” that hit right in the chest.
And a companion worksheet that helps you unmask your real erotic self—available now in The Ember Vault.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why binary sexual roles disrupt the nervous system

• The science behind safety, novelty, stimulation, and attunement

• How the Dual Control Model explains desire for neurodivergent folks

• What happens when sex becomes emotional labor instead of embodied connection

• Queer relationship dynamics and the haunting echo of gendered scripts

• A letter from “Jordan” about losing touch with real desire after years of performance

Grab the worksheet: Binary Thinking & the Erotic Identity Crisis → Available inside The Ember Vault
Submit your own question: hello@untamedember.com (anonymity welcome!)

• (00:00:00) - Intro: Your brain doesn’t care about gender roles
• (00:01:22) - Why binary roles confuse the erotic brain
• (00:03:08) - The 4 keys of arousal: Safety, Novelty, Stimulation, Attunement
• (00:09:00) - Story of “M”: Performance vs Presence
• (00:12:45) - Queer folks + the haunting of roles we didn’t choose
• (00:15:10) - Listener letter from “Jordan” and the blank space of truth
• (00:17:25) - This week’s worksheet + closing reminders

What if your low libido isn’t about dysfunction—it’s about burnout from playing someone else’s fantasy?

In this episode of Untamed Ember, Dr. Misty burns the binary gender rulebook to the ground and shares a personal story of erotic self-abandonment, performance pressure, and what happens when we confuse dominance with power. We’ll unpack how gender roles are quietly killing desire—for everyone—and explore what it means to step outside the script and tune into your actual wants.

✨ Plus:
– Juicy reflection prompts
– A listener letter that hits hard
– A companion worksheet inside The Ember Vault: Unscripted and Unbothered: Dismantling the Gender Role Turn-Off

This isn’t about being more confident. It’s about being more you.

In this episode:

• Why “doing everything right” still left Dr. Misty feeling numb in bed

• The subtle ways gender scripts hijack our desire

• A breakdown of Victorian purity culture + modern expectations

• What to do when your body checks out before you do

• A listener story (hi Sam!) that captures exactly what erotic exhaustion looks like

• Journal questions to unlearn performative sex roles

• This week’s exclusive worksheet inside The Ember Vault

Got a question for the podcast?
Email hello@untamedember.com (anonymous welcome!)

• (00:00:00) - Intro: Your sex drive isn’t broken—it’s exhausted
• (00:01:42) - Storytime: When dominance became dissociation
• (00:05:09) - The trap of gender roles in bed
• (00:07:45) - Cultural roots of sexual performance scripts
• (00:09:10) - What happens in your body when desire becomes obligation
• (00:10:20) - Listener letter: “What if I don’t know what I want anymore?”
• (00:12:30) - This week’s reflection questions
• (00:13:40) - Your reminder: You’re not too much—you’re done performing