In this episode, I speak with historian John about his new book Be a Man, which explores masculinity in England from the Industrial Revolution to today. We discuss themes like fatherhood, work, and youth, as well as how societal expectations of men have evolved. John shares how personal experiences with mental health led him to this work and the role of men’s groups in fostering support. We also touch on modern challenges young men face—social media, pornography, and identity pressure—and end with a thoughtful look at male suicide and the importance of open conversations around mental health.

Episode Highlights:

00:56 - Assumed emotional connection in today's fatherhood

05:26 - Safe space for honest male conversation

09:53 - What has contributed to the rise of toxin masculinity

12:55 - Men compare bodies, feel inadequate

20:32 - Army upbringing influenced early worldview

26:09 - Effects of National Service on masculinity

28:36 - Challenges Facing Young Men Today

32:52 - Football now priced beyond many fans

39:06 - Addressing the Issue of Suicide

41:10 - The Impact of War on Family Dynamics

58:31 - The Importance of Talking and Support

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In this episode, therapist and author Alex unpacks how even “normal” childhoods can leave lasting emotional imprints. He shares his personal story of fatherlessness and family mental health struggles, offering a rare, vulnerable look at how early emotional needs shape adult behavior. We explore how men often suppress emotions due to societal pressures and why mentorship and healthy male role models are critical. Alex’s reflections offer a compassionate lens on healing, resilience, and redefining masculinity.

Episode Highlights:

00:35 - Unmet needs in childhood drive over-functioning in adulthood

04:17 - The absence of a male role model left a gap

08:26 - Helping others means also doing the work on yourself

10:52 - We say we’re ready—but until it costs us comfort, we’re not

16:30 - Depression is numbness, not sadness

18:21 - We don’t see the world as it is—we see it as we are

21:36 - When being right matters more than being close, love doesn’t stand a chance

26:39 - Old wounds speak loud when you're under pressure

33:29 - What happens when struggle is skipped?

38:20 - Having protection changes how the world treats you

43:42 - A huge part of the problem is men not talking

48:40 - What true therapy needs

55:17 - Feeling leads to healing

01:01:28 - Generational gap in financial expectations

01:04:35 - Parental love can coexist with emotional neglect

01:13:44 - We All Inherit Pain. What We Do With It Is Our Power

Learn more about Alex

Website: https://www.alexhoward.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alexhowardtherapy/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexhowardtherapy

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AlexHowardtv

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In this episode, we sit down with Drewe, a former professional footballer turned high-performance coach, as he opens up about the challenges of being a man in today's world. Drewe shares a powerful story about his son’s struggle with expressing his emotions, shedding light on the critical importance of validating rather than suppressing feelings. We dive deep into the complexities of modern masculinity, exploring the societal pressures men face, the emotional isolation in professional sports, and the need for authentic leadership in football. Drew also reflects on his personal journey of overcoming addiction and emotional numbness, which shaped his coaching philosophy focused on authenticity and addressing deeper emotional issues. This conversation offers profound insights into the power of emotional health and true connection, both on and off the field.

Episode Highlights:

01:08 - Validation Over Suppression

07:05 - Toxic shame often begins with “you are” statements

11:13 - Men need more spaces to be real

13:45 - Healing through Return to Authentic Self

18:51 - Distinguishing between ego, sabotage, and raw competitive fire

23:10 - Why the absence of positive male figures can impact personal development

26:56 - Support Systems in Professional Football

29:16 - The Business of Football and Its Challenges

31:53 - Authenticity in Leadership

36:58 - Psychological support is essential in leadership

40:38 - Dis-ease stems from misalignment

44:08 - The Connection Between Fear and Control

49:17 - Political and Cultural Pushback

52:22 - Consequences of Inauthenticity

54:26 - Authenticity Heals More Than The Body

57:29 - Performance Coaching Is About Revelation, Not Instruction

59:18 - The magic formula for success and inner peace

01:04:40 - 3 Powerful Steps to Transform Your Life

Learn more about Drewe

Website: https://www.sweatandcourage.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sweatandcourage/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachfear/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/sweatandcourage/

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