In episode 57 of the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast," host David talks with guest Kevin Anthony, a certified sexologist and relationship coach, about the challenges men over 40 face post-divorce. Kevin emphasizes the importance of self-confidence, navigating new dating technologies, and understanding modern relationship dynamics. He discusses common issues such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, often rooted in psychological factors. Kevin advises men to embrace their masculinity while being caring and communicative while stressing awareness and action to break negative patterns in relationships for healthier futures. Even if you’re not having a sexual relationship yet, please listen to this podcast!!

10 Main Takeaways:

1. Rebuilding Self-Confidence: Regaining confidence is crucial for men post-divorce to re-enter the dating scene.

2. Adapting to Modern Dating: Men need to learn new dating technologies and protocols.

3. Physical and Psychological Challenges: Common issues include erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, often more psychological than physical.

4. Importance of Foreplay: Foreplay is vital for sexual satisfaction, particularly for women.

5. Healthy Masculinity: Embracing classical masculine traits while being compassionate and communicative is key.

6. Avoiding Old Patterns: Awareness and action are necessary to avoid repeating negative relationship patterns.

7. Open Communication: Honest communication about sexual histories and needs can enhance relationships.

8. Technology in Sexual Health: Emerging technologies are aiding in diagnosing and treating sexual health issues.

9. Friends with Benefits Dynamics: These relationships often lead to attachment, particularly for women.

10. Self-Acceptance and Growth: Men should focus on personal growth and self-acceptance before seeking new relationships.

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In this episode, David and Chantel Landreville discuss the importance of love skills and self-awareness in navigating relationships, especially during and after a divorce. They explore how to create safe spaces for emotional healing, the dynamics of co-parenting, and the significance of self-care and humility in personal growth. The conversation emphasizes the need for men to seek support and be truthful with themselves as they recover from divorce and build new relationships.

Takeaways:

Everything I teach applies to any relationship.

You need to be able to define what you want.

Self-awareness starts with asking yourself why.

It's okay to let yourself feel these feelings.

Get support instead of going through it alone.

You have to take ownership in it.

Safety cannot come from alone; it's an environment.

Self-care is about finding things that make you happy.

Humility is such a powerful quality.

Find your words and do that exercise.

Sound Bites:

"Everything I teach is applicable to any relationship."

"You need to be able to define what you want."

"It's okay to let yourself feel these feelings."

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In this episode of the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David speaks with divorce coach Jason Scriven about the challenges men over 40 face during and after divorce. They discuss the importance of self-care, rediscovering one's identity, building connections, and navigating the emotional aspects of separation. Jason shares insights on setting boundaries, creating new memories, and the realities of dating after divorce. He also outlines a four-week program designed to help men master their separation and make informed decisions for their future. Jason gave us some nice pearls and advice. I’m definitely going to have him back on the show. Enjoy!

Takeaways:

Self-care is crucial for men going through divorce.

Rediscovering identity is essential after a long marriage.

Building connections with others can aid recovery.

Emotional health should be prioritized during divorce.

Setting boundaries is important for mental well-being.

Creating new memories helps in moving on from the past.

Dating after divorce requires careful consideration.

Men should avoid dating someone who resembles their ex.

Communication through children can be harmful.

A structured approach can help navigate the divorce process.

All things Jason Scriven

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Welcome to the show - Patrick Eilers. He comes to us from the great state of Michigan and his superpower is the application of psycho-education regarding anxiety and depression. Discussions of the corrosive qualities of emotions, solitude vs isolation, self-care, a destination for self-care, allow yourself to feel the feels, and empathy. There are so many great suggestions and advice tidbits in this podcast. Enjoy!

Narcissism

Your divorce story

Single identity

Divorced David

Visualize self-care

Therapy defining a man’s identity

Rediscovering the wholeness of being human

Mindfulness

Numbing out

When to seek help

Switchfoot - Every Breath is a Second Chance

Hope is for the things yet to be seen

Patrick Eilers; MA, LPC

Email: bloomworkscc@gmx.com

Website: https://www.northpoint-counseling.com/

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In this episode of the Don't Pick The Scab podcast, I interview certified coach Cari Frame, who specializes in self-kindness and personal growth. We discuss the importance of self-kindness during difficult times, particularly for men over 40 going through divorce. Cari explains mindfulness, the impact of inner negativity, and the significance of self-compassion. She shares insights from her experience at a suicide hotline, emphasizing the value of being listened to without judgment. The conversation also covers overcoming self-sabotage, co-parenting challenges, taming the inner critic, and the power of pausing to make conscious choices. Ultimately, the episode highlights the importance of purpose in overcoming fear and fostering personal growth. I really appreciate Cari for taking the time to hang with me and drop some great pearls on my men over 40. We definitely will do this again!

Takeaways

Self-kindness helps ease the inner battle during tough times.

Mindfulness allows individuals to stay present and reduce anxiety.

Focusing on imagined futures can drain energy and increase stress.

Self-compassion involves understanding and growth rather than judgment.

Listening without conditions is a powerful gift for those in distress.

Avoiding hard emotions can lead to a lack of joy.

Self-sabotage stems from negative inner beliefs about oneself.

Control in co-parenting often stems from unresolved grief or guilt.

The inner critic often operates on negative assumptions.

Pausing allows for conscious decision-making and self-awareness.

Everything Cari!

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In this episode, Simon Yeats shares his incredible journey through personal tragedies, including the loss of loved ones and the challenges of divorce. He discusses the importance of finding humor in life's difficulties, the drive to help others recover from setbacks, and the critical role of support systems in healing. Simon emphasizes the need to embrace emotions, be angry when necessary, and maintain hope for the future, even after experiencing significant hardships.

You're not alone in this journey.

Life is precious and can go quickly.

Be angry, but get on with your life.

Don't give up hope, even after setbacks.

Find something you are passionate about.

Exercise is crucial for mental health.

Life can be stupid, crazy, and funny.

Support systems are vital for recovery.

You have to embrace your emotions.

Do things for yourself after a divorce.

My Second Life - By Simon Yeats

Simon's Email: mysecondlifeyeats@gmail.com

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We have a special guest on the podcast today - Jonathan Steele. He has the distinction of being the first returning guest on DPTSP. With his last podcast, we were only able to touch on cybersecurity and divorce recovery only slightly. This time, the entire show is devoted to the subject - and Jonathan did not disappoint. I found there were so many facets to divorce and cybersecurity that some even branch into the regular world. Set back and pay attention. You may have to listen to this one a few times because Jonathan drops quite a bit of knowledge. Sidenote: I’ve had Proton Mail for a year and love it!! Take a listen.

Discussions of:

Phishing attacks are on the rise

Nigerian Price and 400K scam

Family safe word

Rarely see a good application of social media in a divorce case

AI component is scary

Business impersonations

Co-parenting apps

Stop, pause and think

Preying on your mind with urgency

Multi-factoring password

Almost too late when harm is done

Test your backups

Digital footprints - unavoidable

Every computer is built to fail

3-2-1 backup mantra

Ransomware

Backup everyday

Monitor your credit

Time to change your passwords when you start the divorce

Hardware security key

End-to-end encryption

Steele Fortress

JOIN THE FREE MEN'S OVER 40 DIVORCE RECOVERY PRIVATE COMMUNITY

-https://www.skool.com/divorce-recovery-men-over-40-4530/about

-a judgment-free zone!

#divorce

#divorcemen

#divorcehealing

#divorcerecovery

#divorcehealingmenover40

#divorcerecoverymenover40

#divorcehealingmen

#divorcerecoverymen

#divorcemenpodcast

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Welcome David Nordel to the show. After a distinguished career in the Air Force, he developed his superpowers of transitions and mental health challenges of veterans. He has written two books on leadership. We did discuss the similarities between veteran PTSD and men going through a divorce. Some of the parallels are interesting. Discussions of quitting in the face of adversity, tools to embrace personal growth, preparing for change, and recognizing the value in others are all broached in this podcast. It was like the two Davids were reuniting after a long friendship. Thanks, David. Hope to get you back on the podcast. I’ve got a ton of questions we haven’t even touched on yet. Talk to David soon!

Other topics:

Why listening is so important

Ways to effectively navigate life, family and friendships

The value of time

Savoring each moment

Deeper awareness of our surroundings

Hidden potential within

Many people hear, but only a few listen

Happy squirrels

Run your life like a CEO

Harness the energy of PTSD and moral injury, flip the polarity, and use it constructively.

Pain and fear make change hard, sometimes impossible

Check out egos

When we are hurt, we want to transmit

70/30 me time

Good quitting

Recreate yourself from the inside out

Handling hard better

Recovery from your failure and move forward

Divorce and moral injury run congruent

EVERYTHING DAVID NORDEL

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