Hey Lifers!
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.

There's a woman who found out her partner was cheating on her, so she took the urn that had his grandmother's ashes in it! Is this the ultimate bargaining tool or kind of cruel?
We then asked you for some of the funny things you've taken during a break up.
Vibes for the week:
Keeshia Simple Interval Training app
Laura Mco Beauty Instant Contour Cream Bronzer
Britt Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy on Netflix

Then we jump into your questions!

PARENTS GAVE MORE MONEY TO MY SIBLING
A couple of years ago, my sibling got married and my parents gave them a substantial monetary gift for their wedding (I got a 1/3 of the amount for my wedding the year before, but was still so grateful for anything). A few months after their wedding, they wanted to buy a house and were loaned the entire deposit from my parents to pay back. A couple of years on, they have not paid a cent back and my parents haven’t asked for it either. I have received approximately 50k less than them over the past 3 years and now that there’s been no repayments or discussions about this, I’m starting to become bitter. They seem to be living a comfortable life and can certainly afford to do more than my parents can. I’m frustrated at both my sibling and parents but don’t want this to seem like I am only chasing money- I want there to be accountability. How would you handle this with your family members?

GETTING FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHILST ENGAGED
I am in a relationship of almost 9 years and we are engaged. He is the most amazing person ever and ticks all the boxes but the sexual attraction and lust has left for me. I’m starting to have feelings for someone else which is controlling a lot of my emotions at the moment and it’s clouding my judgement!! My fiance and I have just bought a house and have a 11 month old puppy. His parents have gone guarantors for our place too. I feel like I’m stuck in a rock and a hard place with which way to go about it. Do I stay with my current fiance because he is the sweetest guy who would do anything for me or follow my head and heart and take a chance on this other person or even just try it out being single for a while? I’m in my late 20s and just scared I might be stuck in the mentality that I have a lot to lose but also might not be in love anymore.

HOW TO RECONNECT AFTER HAVING A BABY
I am a first time mum, our baby is now 10 months old. I have been really struggling with connecting to my partner in the last 6 months or so. He's a great dad and I love seeing him with our son but it feels like we've just lost the spark. I don't feel special or 'wanted' anymore. It doesn't help that he injured himself pretty badly in July and hasn't been able to carry his weight around the house - this has left me doing all the cooking, cleaning, bath and bed with the baby, etc. We live in a small rural town away from family so I don't have any help around the house as well, which adds another layer of stress. Months ago Laura mentioned something about just 'getting through those early years' when you have a baby in terms of staying with your partner. She said it gets a lot better once babies grow up a bit. I would love to hear more about this and I suppose my question is, how can I try to reconnect with my partner

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We initially got to know Kate DeAraugo in 2005 when she won the crown of Australian Idol! She was just 18 years old. But her post Idol journey was anything but a fairytale; it spiralled into addiction and legal troubles. In 2017, Kate was convicted of drug possession, drug driving and weapons possession.

This conversation with Kate is a deeply honest recount of what it can be like when you live with addiction. Kate has what a lot of us would describe as an addictive personality, someone who took everything to the extreme. She says that when she drank, she drank too much. When she ate, she ate too much. When she loved, she loved too much. These behaviours took Kate to some fairly dark places.

Kate shares:

• After winning Idol, the only thing anyone spoke about was her body

• Record labels saying she needed to lose weight and having full body liposuction at age 19

• The narrative of addicts being from ‘broken homes’ isn’t realistic

• What led her to seeking out drugs in the first place and how that spiralled into more heavy substance abuse

• The toll it took on her family

• How families can help support an addict & what her family learnt that ‘worked’

• How addicts think and what happens inside their minds

• Addiction is a lifelong condition, but sobriety is a responsibility

You can find more from Kate at her website

You can listen to Kate’s podcast Why Do I Feel This Way

Laura mentioned a famous study about addiction that you can watch in Johann Hari’s Ted talk here

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Hey Lifers!

We had the Australian podcast awards but the real take away in the media is how unhinged Laura is and that she (and I quote) "leaves fans questioning her lifestyle habits".

Britt is having a bit of a mid wedding planning crisis. Actually a big mid wedding crisis.
If you've planned a wedding, did you chop and change your mind on things like your dress in the lead up to your wedding?
We discuss the paradox of choice and decision fatigue.

It's sledging season! A new term for how people are strung along over the Christmas/New Years period, delaying a break-up or continuing dating someone they know they're not interested in.
We chat about when "is" the right time to end a relationship around this time and the reasons why so many couples break up around this time of the year.
New Year, New Relationship!

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. Today's ep is unlike anything we have had to record before and are heartbroken by the decision that has been made for the show.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

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Hey Lifers!
Laura has had to go on a 'fishing' expedition in the grossest of places all thanks to Lola! Has your kid ever 'dropped' something valuable in a place that they shouldn't have?
Britt tried to replace the shrine but failed epically and has had to employ a man who woke up in our friend's bed to fix the problem!

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Picking up a new hobby. Basketball
Laura - India Oxenberg's book 'Still Learning'
Keeshia - By Maay Brooklyn work bag

Then we get into your questions!

DO I START SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS OR JUST HAVE NO SEX LIFE THANKS TO MY PARTNER?
My partner and I have been together for 15 years. We have a 7 year old child who we love. But our sex life is 0. We talked a few months ago about opening our relationship. We both agreed and didn't have many rules. A few weeks later, I slept with an old friend. My partner was unhappy to say the least. Since then he convinced me to let him keep sleeping around but I can only see people I don't know. Now my question is... I'm not comfortable with people I don't know. Sex to me is intimate and needs friendship. Do I start sleeping with strangers or just have no sex for the rest of my life?

MY HUSBAND GAVE ME MONEY AS A BDAY PRESENT
My husband recently gave me $400 in cash for my birthday present. For context, we have a joint account and each has a personal account and we get paid equal amounts in our personal accounts every week. We keep a money tin at home where we keep a bit of cash to the side to spend on joint expenses. The $400 birthday money came from our shared tin. At the time I was super grateful and thankful for the cash gift. He also took me out to dinner and paid for that with his personal money which was part of the gift. He said the money is to go towards getting a necklace made that I’ve been wanting for a long time. We aren’t huge on gift giving but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he didn’t put any time into thinking about a nice present for me that wasn’t just grabbing money out of the tin and putting it in a card. He did cook me breakfast and show me love in other ways on my birthday but I wish he put some thought into a gift for me. We do live very busy lives and are both self employed and work together so I don’t want to be too hard on him as life has been pretty hectic for both of us lately. How would you bring this up, if even at all? Or do I just move on and stop even thinking about it? Maybe I’m just being completely unreasonable.

DO I GIVE HIM ANOTHER GO AFTER HE DUMPED ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL?
My partner & I were together for 2 years, lived together, were speaking of marriage & kids within the coming year. 8 months ago, something happened randomly and my partner started pulling away. He was so checked out. He said he wanted to go to Bali with a mate and when he returned home he dumped me 2 days later. Little did I know he found a new girlfriend over in Bali, made it official & hard launched their relationship on Instagram 2 weeks later. I was beyond heart broken. I moved back in with my parents & it was the worst time of my life. Fast forward 8 months, he’s called things off with the new girl & has said he can’t move on from me. He said that he’s realised what he’s lost, he has massive issues & is willing to do anything to fix things including couples counselling and deleting his social media in order to gain my trust back… My whole family & friends hate him & I don’t know what to do. Is it worth giving him another go & trust he won’t break my heart again? Or am I risking ending up back at square one and too much damage has been done?

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Ever feel as though you’re not quite able to ‘do it all?’ During the past 2 decades, there has been a huge push into the world of ‘hustle culture.’ So many of us feel like we are constant hot messes, rushing around to try and get a million things in our day done.

Joining the podcast today is Israa Nasir, New York based psychotherapist and author of the new book “Toxic Productivity.”

Israa is here today to help us let go of the belief that our value is defined by how busy and successful we feel. Israa speaks about this as someone who currently has skin in the game, not from a place of hindsight. We are all having to manage this idea of toxic productivity now!

We chat:

• Productivity no longer just applies to work. It’s infiltrated our romantic relationships, friendships, parenting and personal health
• Productivity guilt; the guilty feeling when we ‘relax’
• The need for external validation can look like people pleasing or a workaholic
• Chaotic state of a dysregulated nervous system becoming familiar e.g. ”I do my best work under pressure.” “I thrive in chaos.”
• Dynamics that keep us constantly busy, but never satisfied such as; self-worth, shame, social comparison, burnout, and perfectionism
• Cultivating a healthier perspective on achievement to understand, manage, and shift our intense emotions

You can find more from Israa, including her new book at her website

You can follow Israa on Instagram

You can watch us on Youtube

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

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Hey Lifers,

It's officially Britt's bangiversary! She's tried to dupe Ben into a fancy gift but Ben's aware of her antics.
We speak about the advice we got from our grandmothers. Some of it hasn't aged particularly well.

We might have found the world's most conflict avoidant man; the man who *likely has faked his own death to ditch his family and go to a woman in Europe. There was a video filmed back in June (two months before Ryan Borgwardt's disappearance). It shows a man on a bike asking if he should go to Uzbekistan to meet a woman, despite being married. After the video went viral, authorities say that the video isn't Ryan.

Also, how do you like your labia? We've spoken about symmetry, length and comfort when it comes to labia but labia puffing seems new.
We ask:

• Is our generation more obsessed than ever with labia?

• Do you think this trend highlights empowerment or unnecessary pressure for perfection?

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show:

• A good deed backfires
• Do you acknowledge the flatulance
• Callumn Hole
• Mitch's pitches

You can watch us on Youtube

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.