All right, gotta write a new jokey, sarcastic description for the podcast. Let’s see what’s on the schedule. Prisoners, eh? Sounds like you’ll be doing hard time with that movie, hyuck hyuck hyuck. Anyways, released in 2013, directed by Denis Villeneuve, about a kidnapping, huh, that’s a tricky one. Family man driven to utter depravity by the loss of his daughter . . . ouch, um . . . I guess there’s a joke in there about overbearing dads losing it at little league games? Men and women making terrible choices out of sheer desperation . . . uh . . . sounds like your typical Friday night at the improv club, right folks? Extensive sequences depicting the torture of a mentally handicapped man . . . graphic onscreen suicide . . . traumatized parents losing their senses of self . . . oh dear . . . maybe you’d better just start the episode. I think I need to go for a walk.

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Faster than a speeding bullet! Stronger than a locomotive! Able to leap buildings in a single bound! Struggling with depression and guilt over thousands of lives lost in the crossfire! Duh-duh-daaaa, it's Superman! Behold the last son of Krypton as he . . . just plows through a building full of innocent people and sends the entire thing crashing to the ground in an apocalyptic display of death and destruction, dang. Cheer as the guardian of Metropolis . . . kinda stares moodily into the middle distance as if he were an office worker who just remembered they left their packed lunch at home . . . huh. Be amazed by, uh, unsubtle Christ metaphors that mean, um, something probably . . . Erm, anyways, that's right, folks! With the Man of Steel currently enjoying his third theatrical reboot of the past twenty years, Magellans at the Movies thought that now was the opportune moment to return to, well, Man of Steel! This 2013 comic book film was directed by Zack Snyder and boy can you tell. Whatever else is true of the man, old Zack Attack has a habit of making properties his own, and nowhere is this more true (or more divisive) than what was meant to be the launchpad for a DC cinematic universe to rival Marvel's. This darker, more somber take on the big blue boy scout made plenty of scratch in its day, and in the years since release has accumulated its fair share of defenders as well as detractors. Which category will Nathan and Elliot fall into? Join the fight for truth, justice, and the obliteration of the American cityscape by listening in to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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Action! Adventure! Red lines gliding across maps! These are the three essential hallmarks of an Indiana Jones flick, yet if there’s one thing the franchise has taught us, it’s that everyone’s favorite Bond alternative is more than the sum of his parts, or at least that just tossing the aforementioned ingredients into a mixing bowl and stirring vigorously won’t always yield cinematic magic. That was the lesson learned by Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the 1984 Spielberg-directed sequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark that was (until 2008) widely held to be the low point of the adventuring archeologist. While hardly trashed upon release, Temple of Doom still failed to achieve the critical adulation of its predecessor, largely thanks to its darker tone and, uh, let’s say inauthentic depiction of Indian cuisine. What, however, does this movie look like in a post Crystal Skull (and Dial of Destiny) world? Has time, distance, and a few rough sequels boosted its prospects, or does it remain among the black sheep? Crack your whips and guard your hearts, let’s find out!

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