Do you ever feel like you're having the same fight over and over again?

Why is it so hard to be in a relationship with someone who is different from you?

Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Orna Guralnik — the world-renowned clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, and lead therapist on the hit series Couples Therapy. Known for helping couples navigate the complexities of intimacy, conflict, and emotional patterns, Orna shares the real reason relationships break down — and what it actually takes to build something that lasts.

Jay and Orna explore why couples often blame communication as the root of all their problems, when what’s really breaking them down runs much deeper. They explore how differences in values, backgrounds, and even childhood wounds create invisible barriers in love—and how we often try to solve them by changing the other person instead of turning inward. Orna shares how blame, defensiveness, and scorekeeping keep us stuck in toxic patterns, and what it looks like to show up with more honesty, humility, and curiosity.

Together Jay and Orna unpack the rise of therapy language online—terms like “gaslighting” and “narcissist”—and how misusing them can shut down the kind of open dialogue relationships truly need. They also explore how issues around money, time, and intimacy often point to deeper struggles with power, identity, and emotional safety.

In this interview, you’ll learn:

How to Stop Trying to “Fix” Your Partner

How to Recognize the Real Issue Beneath the Argument

How to Make Conflict a Source of Connection

How to Move from Blame to Responsibility

How to Stay Grounded When Your Values Clash

How to Build a Relationship That Grows with You

Real love doesn’t ask us to become someone else — it asks us to grow into our most honest, grounded self. This episode is a reminder that healthy relationships aren’t about avoiding differences, but about learning how to navigate them with compassion.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:06 Why Couples Really Fight: The Common Core Conflicts

04:02 Facing “Otherness”: What Happens When Your Partner Is Different

06:07 Embracing Differences Without Losing Yourself

10:21 Building a Partnership of Equals During Conflict

16:48 Holding On to Your Value in a Relationship

19:39 Conflicting Loyalties: When Family and Love Collide

25:18 The Art of Working Through Relationship Struggles

30:01 Digging Deeper: Finding the Root of Your Disagreements

33:26 Escaping the Blame Trap in Your Relationship

37:24 Self-Centeredness vs. Shared Growth

43:07 Creating Emotional Safety for Your Partner

49:57 Letting Love In: Are You Truly Ready for Partnership?

55:33 How Men and Women Tend to Navigate Relationships Differently

57:02 Why It’s So Hard for Men to Open Up Emotionally

01:00:59 Listen Closely—People Reveal More Than You Think

01:03:20 When Parental Baggage Shapes Your Relationship

01:06:57 Signs of a Strong and Healthy Relationship

01:13:35 What Really Makes Someone a Bad Partner?

01:18:35 Are You in Love with a Narcissist?

01:22:12 The Money Struggles Behind Relationship Conflict

01:28:46 Intimacy and Desire: What Keeps Love Alive

01:33:25 Orna on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Orna Guralnik | Website

Orna Guralnik | Linkedin

Orna Guralnik | Instagram

Orna Guralnik | Tiktok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Has anyone ever doubted something you were excited about?

Have you ever felt judged for trying something different?

Today, Jay opens up about one of the most painful yet common experiences: feeling unsupported, unseen, or misunderstood by the people closest to us. He unpacks the psychology behind why others often don’t believe in us, highlighting the “false consensus effect” and the tendency for others to anchor us to who we used to be. But Jay reminds us this isn’t a flaw in our vision, it’s a sign that we’re ahead of the curve.

Jay also dives deep into how true confidence is built—not before we begin, but because we begin. He shares why strangers may become your strongest supporters, how to use resistance as a tool for growth, and why failing in public can be a powerful connector. From the competence-confidence loop to the importance of staying grounded in purpose rather than revenge, Jay outlines seven transformational shifts that can help anyone move from self-doubt to self-trust.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Keep Going When No One Believes in You

How to Stop Seeking Approval

How to Build Confidence Through Action

How to Handle Unsupportive Friends and Family

How to Prove Yourself Right Instead of Proving Others Wrong

No matter where you are in your journey, whether you’re just starting out, stuck in the middle, or feeling like giving up, remember this: you don’t need everyone to believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself enough to take the next step.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:50 #1: Stop Pitching, Start Proving

06:54 #2: Rejection is Often a Protection

11:59 #3: Use Doubt as a Focus Filter

16:33 #4: Strangers are More Likely to Support You

21:15 #5: Create Before You're Confident

25:20 #6: Make Failure Public Strategically

28:08 #7: Focus on Proving Yourself Right

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.