Who this episode is for:

- Those deep in the pit of addiction, wondering if they’ll ever climb out

- Folks who’ve seen the rock bottom but haven’t called it quits yet

- Survivors of abusive homes who weaponized humor to survive

- Anyone who’s ever stayed up for three days to “just keep drinking”

- People still haunted by a childhood home wrapped in vines

- Comedy fans who love stand-up that punches truth in the face

- Anyone who’s ever looked in the mirror and hated what stared back

- And especially: People *not* in recovery but battling their own bullshit

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Episode 27: Rafe Williams — Comedian, Sobriety Savage, and Trauma Alchemist

Rafe Williams doesn’t pull punches. Onstage or off. In this raw-ass sit-down with Chris, Jeff, and Jakob, he peels back the curtain on a life that started in the coal-mining bars of Dowell, Illinois, and took a detour through abusive childhood, drunken barstool nights, cocaine-fueled “fun,” and finally—mercifully—sobriety.

This one is messy, hilarious, brutally honest, and damn near spiritual. From getting his ass beat “just because” by his dad, to forging laughter as survival, to hitting a rock bottom not with a bang but a long, slow skid—Rafe lays it all bare.

You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. You might cry. You’ll definitely hear the gospel of “Fuck you, I’m done” recovery.

And yeah—he’s funny as hell the whole way through.

🔥 Don't Miss:

- Why Rafe says *The Artist’s Way* helped him more than some AA groups: https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/

- His insane camcorder prank that hijacked a family Christmas

- The trauma of watching your childhood home literally rot

- His message to anyone who slid into his DMs and didn’t hear back: "Send another one. I'm trying, motherfucker.”

- PreventEd shoutout: the org that helps real people find real treatment: https://prevented.org/

- Rafe’s upcoming stand-up benefit show on September 6 at COCA in St. Louis: https://www.cocastl.org/

- Why forgiveness without an apology might be your only way out

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⏱️ Episode Timestamp Breakdown

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

05:59 Personal Stories of Addiction and Sobriety

11:51 Growing Up in Southern Illinois

17:59 Navigating Life After Addiction

30:19 Reflections on Self-Identity and Sobriety

36:02 The Power of Disgust as a Motivator

42:02 Facing the Past and Forgiveness

48:00 The Role of Humor and Creativity in Healing

01:03:43 The Weight of Potential: A Friend's Wake-Up Call

01:09:12 Friendship and Hard Truths: The Cost of Caring

01:17:30 Navigating Recovery: The Journey of Self-Discovery

01:23:02 Rebuilding Reputation: The Path to Redemption

01:32:31 The Power of Listening and Direction

01:37:49 Navigating Relationships and Misunderstandings

01:43:16 The Complexity of Character and Identity

01:50:25 The Comedy Industry: Navigating Success and Pressure

01:58:51 Navigating the Waters of Recovery

02:04:10 The Pressure of Accountability in Recovery

02:12:12 The Importance of Routine and Structure

02:18:15 Learning from the Craft of Comedy

02:25:51 Influences and Inspirations in Comedy

02:32:01 The Evolution of Comedy Careers

02:39:36 Closing Thoughts and Future Endeavors

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Sponsored by:

🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://mckelveyins.com

🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of trauma, antisemitism, abuse (emotional, physical, and sexual), drug use, suicidal ideation, and a suicide attempt. Listener discretion is advised.

Who this episode is for:

Anyone who’s ever tried to fill the void with drugs, booze, bad relationships—or all of the above

Trauma survivors who are still standing (barely or proudly)

Ravers who thought hiding drugs in the desert was a genius idea

Parents wondering if their “tough love” is really just emotional neglect

The curious and the nosy who’ve ever wondered what transcranial magnetic stimulation is

Anyone who’s ever made a glorious mess of their 20s

Episode 26 is a ride—raw, relentless, and painfully real. Chris, Jeff, and Jakob sit down with Kat, who walked through fire (sometimes literally at raves) and lived to tell the tale with her husband Thomas in her corner. From growing up Jewish in a Midwest Bible Belt town laced with antisemitism, to navigating parentification, panic attacks, and isolation, Kat’s story smashes the silence around trauma, mental health, and addiction.

We go deep: acid trips in fields, insane raves (including Electric Daisy Carnival, complete with cartel encounters and meth bombs), and opioids masquerading as “waves of happiness.” Kat calls this period her "Dark Ages"—eight years of high-end drugs, toxic relationships, and self-destruction dressed up as glamour.

But it’s not all doom. Kat talks recovery after a suicide attempt, how Jewish cultural stigma around mental health nearly killed her, and how she found real help—like TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) therapy, rave scenes that doubled as misfit family, and ultimately, love. This one’s got everything: hallucinogens, birthright trips to Israel, a landlord “member of the tribe,” kidney stones, rave drugs imported from China, and dancing until your serotonin collapses.

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

02:19 Personal Retreat and Reflections

04:48 Welcoming Kat: A Courageous Story

06:15 Trauma and Social Justice Advocacy

09:03 Cultural Perspectives on Mental Health

12:59 The Impact of Community on Mental Health

14:20 Experiences of Antisemitism and Isolation

21:50 Parentification and Family Dynamics

28:31 Struggles with Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

33:54 The Impact of Neglect vs. Physical Abuse

34:55 Coping Mechanisms: Alcohol and Substance Use

36:46 Body Image and Eating Disorders in Dance

41:04 The Struggles of College Life and Substance Abuse

47:42 Exploring Alternative Therapies: TMS and Psychedelics

56:17 The Pain of Kidney Stones

59:15 Dating and Self-Worth

01:01:52 The Dark Ages of Abuse

01:03:44 Rave Culture and Escapism

01:11:10 The Descent into Addiction

01:18:49 A Crisis Point: Suicide Attempt

01:21:46 Surviving the Unthinkable: A Personal Journey

01:24:25 Understanding PMDD and Its Impact on Mental Health

01:25:44 Experiencing the Psych Ward: A Turning Point

01:32:04 Life in Residential Treatment: A Mixed Experience

01:40:08 Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Finding Balance in Chaos

01:44:07 Empathy in Recovery

01:47:06 Spirituality and Personal Growth

01:50:01 Finding Purpose Through Adventure

01:52:12 Activism and Social Justice

01:58:21 Navigating Personal Challenges

02:01:06 Education and Global Awareness

02:05:29 Building Meaningful Relationships

Originally from season one, we are excited to share this episode again. Jeff Stevens of WellBeing Brewing joined us back in 2020.

We'll be back next week!

Who this episode is for:

• Anyone who’s lost someone they couldn’t save
• Those navigating addiction—from the inside or from the sidelines
• Siblings who’ve had to be the strong one
• Moms who’ve done everything and still blame themselves
• Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

Episode 25 – “Jordan, Jack in the Box, and the Shit We Carry”

Pondoff’s Anonymous is brought to you by:

• McKelvey Insurance – Real humans, no bullshit. Whether it’s personal or commercial coverage, they work with over 30 companies to find the best rate without screwing you over. Call or text 618-623-0080 or hit the site: https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy – Based in Belleville, IL, they offer individual, family, and group therapy. If you’re struggling with addiction, grief, mental health—or just life—check them out: https://findyourlightsource.com

Chris and Jeff are holding it down while Jakob’s on vacation (he’s not sipping margaritas, he’s probably still waiting on his bag at Lambert with a virgin piña colada in hand).

Joining the show is Karissa Jones, a civilian, a sister, and someone who knows the long, brutal road of loving an addict. Her brother Jordan died at 27 after years of battling heroin addiction, bipolar disorder, and the rehab-relapse rinse cycle that so many families know too well. This episode goes deep—into grief, guilt, mental illness, and the kind of trauma that doesn’t let you sleep.

No sugarcoating. No easy answers. Just honesty, dark humor, and some much-needed humanity.

⏱ Timestamp Breakdown

• 0:00 – 6:00 – Chris plugs McKelvey Insurance (https://mckelveyins.com) and LightSource Psychotherapy in Belleville, IL (https://findyourlightsource.com), then drops us right into it.
• 6:01 – 15:00 – God, grief, and all the ways people try to spiritualize survival. Buddhism, Jesus, and why Chris built a “wisdom team.”
• 15:01 – 25:00 – Childhood chaos, stolen cars, Jack in the Box, and Jordan showing up on a mini bike to shut it all down.
• 25:01 – 35:00 – Karissa opens up about finding Jordan’s first suicide notes at 16.
• 35:01 – 45:00 – Attempt two. Karissa becomes the cleanup crew. 20 suicide videos. “I’m not glad I’m alive.”
• 45:01 – 55:00 – Bipolar disorder, self-medicating, and meds that mess you up worse than the illness.
• 55:01 – 1:05:00 – The Florida rehab shuffle. Jordan’s final texts. The relapse days before Thanksgiving.
• 1:05:01 – 1:15:00 – Facebook messages. The worst phone call imaginable. Karissa breaks the news to her mom.
• 1:15:01 – 1:25:00 – The detective confirms it. Karissa holds her mom together while falling apart herself.
• 1:25:01 – 1:35:00 – Why Jordan? Why not Karissa? The questions that never get answered.
• 1:35:01 – END (~1:53:00) – Chris brings it home: “The darkness never extinguishes the light.”

Mentioned in This Episode:

• McKelvey Insurance – https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL) – https://findyourlightsource.com
• Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com

🚨 Trigger Warning:

This episode includes frank and emotional discussion of childhood sexual abuse, addiction, relapse, hospitalization, and incarceration. It’s raw, real, and may be triggering for listeners with past trauma. We don’t hold back—because healing doesn’t either. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

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Who this episode is for:

– Anyone who’s ever looked in the mirror and thought, “What the actual f*ck am I doing with my life?”

– People buried in addiction or dragging themselves out of it with broken fingernails.

– Survivors of trauma who are sick of pretending they’re fine.

– The families still standing by, hoping for a miracle that doesn’t come in a straight line.

– And those not in recovery who can’t look away from a comeback story that punches you in the gut and somehow still makes you laugh.

---

🎙️ Episode Title: Kelly, Kevin & the Magic of Mayhem

Chris and Jakob sit down with Kelly and Kevin—two beautifully wrecked humans with a love story that starts in relapse, crashes through jail cells and hospital beds, and somehow circles back to spiritual magic.

Kelly was 9 years sober… and then wasn’t. Kevin was the “do-not-call” guy she called anyway. There’s vape smoke, ER visits, dead grandmas, addiction-fueled lies, and somehow, still… hope. This one’s rawer than a sunburn, funnier than it should be, and way too real to be fiction.

---

⏱️ Timestamp Breakdown:

0:00 – 5:27

Chris kicks it off with a warning: this one’s gonna hit hard. Jakob’s smiling like he knows we’re all about to cry. Kelly and Kevin introduce themselves and the chaos begins.

5:28 – 14:12

Kelly talks about relapsing after nearly a decade sober. Kevin’s the guy from her past who walks right into the storm. Jakob asks the questions we’re all too afraid to ask.

14:13 – 24:37

Hospitalizations. Jail. A Vegas wedding that shouldn't have worked but somehow did. Kevin shows up when Kelly’s at rock bottom, and the story shifts.

24:38 – 32:00

Grandma’s jewelry box becomes a full-blown spiritual metaphor. Chris gets choked up. Kevin didn’t plan on being anyone’s savior—he just wanted to get laid.

32:01 – 44:55

Vape pens and half-truths. Jakob introduces the word “magic.” Everyone tries to laugh through the pain. Kelly's in and out of consciousness. Kevin’s showing up even though he’s not all there himself.

44:56 – 1:00:33

Kelly wakes up in the hospital and Kevin is by her side. Jakob calls it divine. Chris just yells “That’s God!” a few times. Everyone agrees it’s something.

1:00:34 – 1:19:45

Kevin talks about his past—dealing, stealing, manipulating—and how recovery didn’t start until the lies stopped. Kelly opens up about the real reason she relapsed: buried trauma, including childhood sexual abuse, that she had never fully faced.

1:19:46 – 1:34:10

They break the cycle. Or try to. Kevin starts meditating. Kelly glows. Chris throws down a sermon about grace. Jakob drops mystical wisdom bombs.

1:34:11 – 1:52:18

Listener questions come in hot. Kelly: “I thought if I got sober again, I’d have to feel.” Kevin talks about rebuilding trust brick by painful brick.

1:52:19 – END (2:13:45)

Final reflections. Jakob says something that makes everyone pause. Kelly and Kevin are raw, redeemed, and still healing. The room is wrecked. But nobody’s alone.

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🎤 Guest Titles:

Kelly – Recovery Queen with Battle Scars & Spiritual Bling

Kevin – Ex-Dealer Turned Meditating Miracle-Man with Vape Breath

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📌 Mentioned in the Episode:

📚 Magic Is Real – Jakob’s spiritual holy grail, a book that dives into spirituality through the lens of addiction and mental illness:

https://www.amazon.com/Magic-is-Real-1-book-series/dp/B087JM8W38

💰 Sponsored by:

🛏️ Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/

🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – http://mckelveyins.com/

• Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol
• Anyone who's ever woke up not knowing what city they're in (or why there's a meth pipe under their pillow)
• People who thought Goldberg from The Mighty Ducks just "fell off"
• Fans of 90s nostalgia with a side of real-life wreckage
• Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life (and wants a way out)

You think you know Goldberg? Think again. Shaun Weiss joins the pod and rips the mask off the chaos, the meth, the mugshots, and what it really took to crawl out of hell. In this raw and unflinching episode, Chris, Jeff, and Jakob sit down with actor, comedian, and walking resurrection story Shaun Weiss—aka Goldberg the goalie from The Mighty Ducks franchise. You probably saw his mugshot a few years back and thought, "Damn, what the hell happened to Goldberg?" Well, he's here to tell you.

Shaun dives into his brutal addiction spiral, shady rehab scams, and rock bottom moments that nearly killed him—meth binges, jail cells, and stolen needles. This isn't a Lifetime movie; it's gritty truth with a shot of hope.

But there's redemption, too. Shaun breaks down how he got sober, the spiritual tools that actually worked for him (spoiler: not rehab horses), and how he's now turning that wreckage into a new life—including stand-up comedy, public speaking, and a whole new mindset powered by joy, not just survival. He even plugs Isha Kriya meditation from Sadhguru: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwQkfoKxRvo.

From Ducks memories and Dawson's Creek near-misses to hiding AA meetings inside bullshit treatment centers, this episode is equal parts hilarious, horrifying, and healing.

Oh, and yeah, Goldberg had the hots for Julie the Cat. We said what we said.

• 0:00 – Egyptian Workspace Partners ad
• 1:03 – Shaun drops bars, Pondoff fanboys out
• 2:37 – The Mighty Ducks legacy + Shaun's hockey conversion
• 5:45 – Duck teammates and NHL connections
• 6:38 – Dawson's Creek almost-casting and 90s commercials
• 7:42 – Royalty checks and childhood acting perks
• 8:45 – The real start of addiction
• 11:01 – Body brokering and how rehab became a racket
• 13:02 – Scholarship to rehab via Ducks nostalgia
• 14:01 – Mugshots, surrender, jailhouse awakening
• 17:01 – What really flips the switch in recovery
• 19:03 – Shaun's spiritual moment
• 22:28 – Booze and a 12-pack-a-day hellscape
• 25:40 – Opioid spiral + Vicodin chemistry
• 28:45 – CVS scavenger hunts
• 30:42 – Meth benders and shadow people
• 34:06 – Losing everything ($20K in 3 months)
• 35:13 – Shoplifting + Disney star fails
• 36:58 – Stand-up comedy and speaking truth
• 38:20 – Why addicts chase 1200s in a world of 100s
• 41:45 – Sadhguru + Isha Kriya meditation
• 44:03 – Joy in the small stuff
• 46:42 – Letting go of trauma
• 47:16 – Sobriety date and Kobe
• 49:13 – Rehab centers that don’t want the truth
• 51:36 – Underground AA meetings
• 53:58 – Why 90 days in sober living matters
• 56:36 – Meth addict to miracle
• 58:01 – Why this work beats any high
• 59:16 – Healing the whole family
• 1:00:13 – Losing his father, his fiancé, and his will to live
• 1:01:16 – Sharing needles and rock bottom
• 1:02:15 – What are we really numbing?
• 1:03:03 – Bringing Shaun to St. Louis
• 1:03:48 – NHL trades + Ducks nostalgia

Sponsored by:
Illinois Recovery Center
Egyptian Workspace Partners
McKelvey Insurance

Who this episode is for:

• Anyone who feels like they were an alcoholic before their first drink
• Parents secretly hating the newborn phase
• Therapists who drink alone and pretend it’s fine
• People who nurse a beer until it becomes a personality trait
• Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

Episode 22: Therapist, Addict, Jesus-Lover — Jeff Brenneman Uncensored

Strap in, degenerates. This one veers from Bible college to blackout whiskey nights, with a surprise stop for tea with the Taliban.

Chris, Jeff, and Jakob welcome Jeff Brenneman, Clinical Director at Illinois Recovery Center. Once on track to be a preacher, Jeff’s life swerved through addiction, fatherhood breakdowns, and some very questionable DIY detoxing (do not recommend). This dude was an alcoholic before his first drink—and you’ll hear exactly why.

They hit everything: Borderline Personality Disorder, perfectionism, fear of failure, therapy myths, Enneagrams, hiding from your own family, the dangers of being “the smart kid,” and what sobriety really takes.

Also: Jeff’s kid visited Afghanistan. For fun. That’s not a metaphor.

And while the Bible and recovery stuff run deep, there’s still plenty of chaos, Chris’s sex life, shame jokes, and Trader Joe’s tears to go around.

Timestamps include:

• 00:00 — Marco Bertorelli of Bertarelli Cutlery
• 03:17 — Meet Jeff: therapist, ex-drunk, accidental pastor
• 10:29 — Becoming a drunk despite a "perfect" life
• 25:07 — “I was an alcoholic before I took a drink”
• 30:43 — Borderline Personality Disorder gets real
• 41:17 — His son visits Afghanistan... because why not?
• 48:38 — Met wife in third grade. Cute, until the drinking.
• 53:07 — DIY detoxing while mom’s in the guest room
• 56:41 — The fifth of whiskey night
• 58:59 — Half-assing AA doesn't work (duh)
• 1:03:12 — Sponsorship & brutal honesty
• 1:14:15 — God, guilt, and post-bottle faith
• 1:23:01 — Jakob cries in Trader Joe’s
• 1:32:03 — Accountability: the real rehab
• 1:39:07 — Doing the work even when it sucks
• 1:47:11 — Why Jeff stays at IRC

Sponsored by Illinois Recovery Center and Bertarelli Cutlery

• Anyone who woke up with a Great Dane puppy and no memory of ordering it
• The families still trying to love a tornado in human form
• Addicts who’ve checked into rehab more times than they can count (Angela’s got you beat)
• People in recovery, people out of recovery, people still circling the drain
• Folks not in recovery but who’ve ever made a mess of their life and are wondering, “Now what?”

Chris and Jeff wrangle the now-married madness that is Angela and Dr. Chris Schenewerk—back for Round 3, but this time in the same damn room. And buckle up, because it gets unhinged in the best way.

There’s a five-grand Great Dane bought during a blackout. Jellyfish revelations. Dead ducks. Rehab round twelve. Boobs paid for by Angela (not her husband, thank you very much). Grief, laughter, rage, and a recovery meeting started in a damn bowling alley.

This episode’s a cocktail of chaos, clarity, and hard-won perspective. Recovery ain't a straight line—and this couple proves it’s still worth crawling the damn thing.

• 0:00 – Knife talk and sponsor shoutouts
• 2:00 – Angela and Dr. Chris together: Zeus the blackout puppy, John Wick the dog
• 5:00 – Angela’s animal kingdom: jellyfish, wood ducks, and regretful Amazon buys
• 10:00 – Clean Cause gets the spotlight (use code: PONDOFF for 20% off at cleancause.com)
• 15:00 – Dr. Chris opens up about losing his brother and not drinking through it
• 20:00 – Angela breaks down 12 rehabs, chaos, and what finally clicked
• 25:00 – Kids and the wreckage they witness—Angela owns her side of the street
• 30:00 – The “Three Amigos” Friday AA meeting is born in a bowling alley
• 35:00 – Dr. Chris’s recovery workbook—text him, he’ll mail you a copy
• 40:00 – Sobriety labels are dumb—just do the work
• 45:00 – Pandemic recovery meetings, muting drunk people on Zoom
• 55:00 – Rehab myths, boobs, and doing the next right thing
• 1:00:00 – Jersey trauma, 9/11 aftermath, and losing Jimmy
• 1:10:00 – Bridging recovery at Memorial Hospital—pamphlets, meetings, hope
• 1:20:00 – Bird jokes, orchid addiction, prostate talk—classic chaos
• 1:30:00 – Remembering Brian Schenewerk, prayer, and promising more babies

• Clean Cause Energy Drinks – 20% off with code PONDOFF
• Illinois Recovery Center
• Bertarelli Cutlery
• AA Meeting Finder
• Memorial Hospital Detox Bridge Program

This glorious mess brought to you by Illinois Recovery Center and Bertarelli Cutlery—because sharp knives and sharp minds save lives.