Warning: today I’m going to present an idea that you may not want your kids to hear, so I recommend listening to this when you’re away from your children.

The holiday season is upon us, and there are so many things about this season that I love; cozying up by the fire, watching football games, the general sense of the occasion and that it’s a special time of year. But there is something that I don’t love, and you might not even realize you’re doing it.

You might have heard of Elf on the Shelf, and you might even be using it as a way to make sure your kids behave during the holiday season. You know the drill – you tell your kids that if they misbehave, the elf will see everything and tell Santa not to bring them any presents. But there’s a big issue with using the elf in this way, and I’m explaining my problem with it this week.

In this episode, I’m sharing why using Elf on the Shelf as a tool to keep your kids behaving during the holidays is actually fear-based parenting. I’m showing you how to stop using Elf on the Shelf as a tool for punishment and instead start using it to connect with your kids, and some tips to help you move away from fear-based parenting during the holidays.

What You'll Learn:

• What fear-based parenting is and why it’s such a problem.

• How you might be applying fear-based parenting without realizing it.

• Some tips for using Elf on the Shelf as a tool for connection and cooperation with your kids.

• Why getting curious, not furious, is even more important at this time of year.

• How the holidays might bring extra emotions for your children and why you need to let them have them.

• Why threats and punishments are never the way to get your kids to behave.

• How to notice if you’re using fear-based parenting around the holidays.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith delves into the transformative power of defining family values. Through relatable examples and personal stories, Lisa shares why family values are essential for creating a unified approach to parenting and fostering a sense of purpose and connection in your home. Discover how establishing clear, actionable values provides a lasting framework for decision-making and guides your kids toward developing their own internal compass. Plus, Lisa offers practical steps to start defining your family values tonight!

What You'll Learn:

• Why Family Values Matter – Learn how family values create a guiding compass that everyone in the family can follow, making expectations clear and meaningful.

• Parenting with Purpose – Understand how values simplify decision-making and reduce conflicts by aligning with what truly matters to your family.

• Creating Consistent Guidelines – See how breaking down big values into daily actions can guide behavior and bring structure.

• Building Your Kids’ Internal Compass – Discover how values help children build their own decision-making skills and self-discipline, even when you’re not around.

• Getting Started with Family Values – Learn a simple exercise to define and outline your core family values tonight.

• Practical Examples from Lisa’s Family – Hear about Lisa’s own family values and how they’ve shaped her parenting journey, providing a real-world look at peaceful parenting in action.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith addresses the common challenges parents face when dealing with their children’s big emotions, especially anger. Building on last week's theme of diving below the surface, Lisa shares five practical scenarios that parents encounter daily, each illustrating how to respond with empathy and understanding. Lisa also provides actionable phrases to help parents get curious, not furious, enabling deeper connection and calmer communication with their children. This episode empowers parents with a toolkit for navigating tough emotional moments, guiding both parent and child toward a more peaceful relationship.

What You'll Learn:

• The Power of Connection Phrases – Learn specific phrases to help your child feel understood and calm in emotionally charged moments.

• “Pause and Probe” Technique – Discover how to pause, breathe, and explore what emotions might be under the surface of your child’s behavior.

• Real-Life Scenarios – Five common parenting challenges with step-by-step responses to foster empathy and avoid escalation.

• Understanding the “Iceberg of Behavior” – Why what’s visible (like anger) is often only a small part of what your child is experiencing emotionally.

• Building Emotional Intelligence Together – How practicing empathy and understanding fosters emotional growth for both you and your child.

• Practical Tools for Real-Life Parenting – Techniques for shifting from reaction to understanding, helping to create a calmer, more cooperative household.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith explores a transformative approach to handling anger in parenting. Guided by Eckhart Tolle’s wisdom, “Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath,” Lisa explains how to look beyond the surface of your child’s outbursts to understand the vulnerable emotions hidden below. With real-life stories and actionable insights, Lisa shares how getting “curious, not furious” can create breakthroughs in connection and emotional growth for you and your child.

What You'll Learn:

• The "Curious, Not Furious" Approach – Learn how adopting this mindset can uncover your child’s true feelings behind their anger.

• The Iceberg Model of Anger – Discover why anger is only the tip of the iceberg and how diving deeper reveals vulnerable emotions.

• Practical Techniques for Emotional Connection – Explore actionable strategies to identify and validate your child’s emotions.

• Real-World Examples of Compassionate Parenting – Hear relatable stories of parents navigating anger to build stronger bonds.

• Self-Reflection Practices for Parents – Understand your own reactions to anger and what underlying emotions you might be shielding.

• Building Emotional Intelligence in Children – Help your child develop emotional resilience by teaching them to manage and communicate their feelings.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith breaks down seven essential co-regulation techniques that every parent should know. By incorporating these strategies into your daily interactions, you can help your child manage their emotions, foster emotional intelligence, and create a stronger bond between you and your child. From empathy to shared breathing exercises, Lisa provides practical tools for navigating those challenging parenting moments with calm and connection.

What You'll Learn:

• What co-regulation is and why it's a powerful tool for helping children manage emotions.

• How to use empathy and active listening to create emotional connection and calm during tough moments.

• The power of shared breathing exercises to reduce stress for both parent and child and align emotional states.

• Why validating your child’s feelings without judgment is crucial for building trust and emotional openness.

• The importance of modeling self-regulation so your child learns how to handle emotions effectively by watching you.

• How holding space for your child’s emotions helps them feel seen and supported without needing to fix or change their feelings.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives deep into the power of emotional intelligence and how it can revolutionize your parenting approach. Learn the core components of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and more—and discover actionable steps you can take to create a connected and cooperative home environment. Whether your child is a toddler or a teen, this episode provides the tools to help you foster emotional intelligence in both yourself and your children for a lifetime of resilience and healthy relationships.

What You'll Learn:

• What emotional intelligence is and why it is crucial for peaceful parenting.

• How to model self-awareness and emotional regulation for your children.

• Practical strategies to create a safe space for kids to express their feelings.

• The importance of empathy and how to validate your child’s emotions without judgment.

• How to use storytelling and perspective-taking to teach emotional intelligence to kids.

• Key behaviors emotionally intelligent parents practice to foster strong connections and emotional resilience in their families.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives deep into the transformative power of emotional intelligence in parenting. Learn how to recognize, understand, and manage both your emotions and your child's, creating a home environment built on connection and growth. Lisa shares practical strategies to build emotional intelligence for yourself and your children, with real-life examples and actionable tips to start using today.

What You'll Learn:

• What emotional intelligence in parenting really means and why it's essential.

• The five core components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

• Practical ways to model emotional awareness and regulation for your children.

• How to teach your kids empathy, open communication, and emotional resilience.

• The importance of self-care for parents in maintaining emotional intelligence.

• Specific tools like emotional coaching and mindfulness practices to start using today.

In this special episode, Lisa Smith welcomes Stephanie Drake and Arthur Meyer, the comedic masterminds behind the hit web series ABC Parenting. They dive into the power of humor in parenting, how to connect with kids through laughter, and why it’s okay to laugh at the chaos of parenthood. Whether you're dealing with everyday challenges or just need a fresh perspective, this episode will leave you smiling and ready to embrace the joy (and humor) of raising kids.

What You'll Learn:

• Why humor is a powerful tool for emotional connection with your children.

• How laughter can help you navigate tough parenting moments and create stronger bonds.

• The importance of balancing humor with boundaries and discipline.

• Real-world examples of using humor to diffuse difficult situations, from bedtime struggles to meltdowns in public.

• The significance of self-regulation as a parent and how humor can keep you grounded.

• Why it’s essential for parents to laugh at themselves and not take everything too seriously in their parenting journey.