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In this episode of The Aware Mind, host Sarah Vallely and guest Nicole Handsman explore the complex dynamics of Internal Family Systems (IFS), focusing on how parts can form alliances or stand in opposition to one another. Through candid and heartfelt personal stories, both Sarah and Nicole share how their own parts have conflicted—like an overthinking part battling with a self-critical part—or teamed up to protect them from causing others to get angry. The episode highlights how recognizing these patterns can lead to deeper self-awareness and healing. They also discuss the transformative process of stepping into your authentic Self, and how cultivating trust between parts and the Self can shift inner dynamics toward balance and wholeness.

Nicole Handsman's Website: https://www.nicolehandsmantherapy.com/

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

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Listen to the complete meditation and others when you subscribe to The Aware Mind Exclusive Edition https://www.buzzsprout.com/2457574/subscribe

"Simplify Your Thinking" is a guided mindfulness meditation designed to calm mental chatter and reduce overthinking. It begins by anchoring the attention on the breath, using it as a tool for single-pointed focus. This initial stage helps settle the mind and draw awareness away from distractions. As attention stabilizes, the practice shifts into a state of open awareness, inviting the listener to notice thoughts as they arise naturally.

When a thought is noticed, instead of pushing it away or analyzing it, the meditator is guided to identify the actual words in the thought. Then, they are encouraged to distill that thought down to just three simple words. This act of simplification helps reduce the emotional charge and cognitive weight of the thought, making it easier to observe without getting pulled in. By doing this, the meditator cultivates a sense of distance and clarity, allowing thoughts to pass through the mind with less attachment.

This technique is especially helpful for those who struggle with racing thoughts, anxiety, or difficulty falling asleep. By combining breath awareness with cognitive simplification, the meditation soothes the nervous system and creates mental spaciousness. Over time, it can train the mind to respond to thoughts with more equanimity, leading to a greater sense of calm and presence.

Meditaiton led by Sarah Vallely. https://www.sarahvallely.com/

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In this episode, Sarah is joined by licensed therapist Mike Comparetto to explore the concept of avoidance—specifically, experiential avoidance, which refers to the tendency to avoid unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Together, they delve into how we often dodge discomfort by overworking, overthinking, or turning to substances and distractions like social media. While these strategies may offer short-term relief, research shows that chronic avoidance is linked to serious long-term consequences, including anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues like cardiovascular disease and cancer. Mike shares how leaning into discomfort, rather than resisting it, is not only more effective in the long run but also a key step toward reducing anxiety and building emotional resilience.

Mike Comparetto's website: https://striveon.me/

How experientially avoidant are you? Take the Quiz: https://novopsych.com/assessments/formulation/brief-experiential-avoidance-questionnaire-beaq/

Download the tool to identify your emotions: https://www.tsdmind.org/_files/ugd/8bdf26_e098853c2ccd431eab2923afa955ee10.pdf

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.