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In this episode of The Aware Mind, host Sarah Vallely and guest Nicole Handsman explore the complex dynamics of Internal Family Systems (IFS), focusing on how parts can form alliances or stand in opposition to one another. Through candid and heartfelt personal stories, both Sarah and Nicole share how their own parts have conflicted—like an overthinking part battling with a self-critical part—or teamed up to protect them from causing others to get angry. The episode highlights how recognizing these patterns can lead to deeper self-awareness and healing. They also discuss the transformative process of stepping into your authentic Self, and how cultivating trust between parts and the Self can shift inner dynamics toward balance and wholeness.

Nicole Handsman's Website: https://www.nicolehandsmantherapy.com/

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

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Listen to the complete meditation and others when you subscribe to The Aware Mind Exclusive Edition https://www.buzzsprout.com/2457574/subscribe

"Simplify Your Thinking" is a guided mindfulness meditation designed to calm mental chatter and reduce overthinking. It begins by anchoring the attention on the breath, using it as a tool for single-pointed focus. This initial stage helps settle the mind and draw awareness away from distractions. As attention stabilizes, the practice shifts into a state of open awareness, inviting the listener to notice thoughts as they arise naturally.

When a thought is noticed, instead of pushing it away or analyzing it, the meditator is guided to identify the actual words in the thought. Then, they are encouraged to distill that thought down to just three simple words. This act of simplification helps reduce the emotional charge and cognitive weight of the thought, making it easier to observe without getting pulled in. By doing this, the meditator cultivates a sense of distance and clarity, allowing thoughts to pass through the mind with less attachment.

This technique is especially helpful for those who struggle with racing thoughts, anxiety, or difficulty falling asleep. By combining breath awareness with cognitive simplification, the meditation soothes the nervous system and creates mental spaciousness. Over time, it can train the mind to respond to thoughts with more equanimity, leading to a greater sense of calm and presence.

Meditaiton led by Sarah Vallely. https://www.sarahvallely.com/

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In this episode, Sarah is joined by licensed therapist Mike Comparetto to explore the concept of avoidance—specifically, experiential avoidance, which refers to the tendency to avoid unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Together, they delve into how we often dodge discomfort by overworking, overthinking, or turning to substances and distractions like social media. While these strategies may offer short-term relief, research shows that chronic avoidance is linked to serious long-term consequences, including anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues like cardiovascular disease and cancer. Mike shares how leaning into discomfort, rather than resisting it, is not only more effective in the long run but also a key step toward reducing anxiety and building emotional resilience.

Mike Comparetto's website: https://striveon.me/

How experientially avoidant are you? Take the Quiz: https://novopsych.com/assessments/formulation/brief-experiential-avoidance-questionnaire-beaq/

Download the tool to identify your emotions: https://www.tsdmind.org/_files/ugd/8bdf26_e098853c2ccd431eab2923afa955ee10.pdf

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

Send us a text

In this episode of The Aware Mind, Sarah explores what real vulnerability looks like in relationships—like admitting we’re scared, in pain, or unsure of ourselves. Most of us didn’t grow up in environments that encouraged emotional openness, so we developed protective behaviors to keep ourselves safe. But as adults, those same behaviors can block the deep connection we truly crave. Sarah unpacks why being vulnerable can feel so risky—especially when we fear rejection, invalidation, or triggering someone’s anger. She also dives into how attachment styles shape our relationship with vulnerability, and offers insight into how both anxious and avoidant types tend to protect themselves by avoiding emotional exposure.

How Vulnerable are you? Take the Quiz: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/relationships/vulnerability-test

Download the tool to identify non-vulnerability behaviors: https://www.tsdmind.org/_files/ugd/8bdf26_1911ee87b5c140d6b298369fa09f1694.pdf

Become a The Aware Mind subscriber. $6 a month will give you access to exclusive content, including guided meditations for better sleep, enhanced focus and much needed emotional healing. Link to Subscribe Today

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Send us a text

This is a preview. Subscribe to access the entire 14-minute meditation.

In this guided mindfulness meditation for improving self-worth, you’ll explore the idea that each thought arising during your meditation is rooted in some level of feeling unworthy. As you settle into a calm, centered state, you’ll begin to notice thoughts that surface—whether they are worries, self-doubts, or judgments. Instead of resisting or getting caught up in these thoughts, you’ll gently acknowledge each one and respond with a powerful worthiness affirmation.

Through this practice, you’ll learn to reframe negative thoughts with kindness and compassion, building a stronger sense of inherent worthiness over time. By consistently responding to each thought with worthiness affirmations, you start to rewire your mind toward self-acceptance and inner peace. This meditation isn’t about forcing positivity or rejecting difficult thoughts—it’s about gently guiding yourself back to a place of worthiness with each breath and each moment of awareness. With regular practice, you’ll notice a shift in how you view yourself, moving away from self-criticism and toward genuine self-compassion.

Learn more about Sarah's coaching at SarahValley.com

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In this powerful podcast episode, a mother and her 21-year-old transgender son share their journey from two deeply personal perspectives. The son opens up about his experience realizing he was transgender, the internal struggles he faced, and the mental health battles that followed—including depression, an eating disorder, substance use, and suicidal thoughts. His mother offers an emotional account of her own journey, from confusion and fear to understanding and unconditional support. Together, they explore the challenges of navigating mental health as a trans individual, the impact of societal pressures, and the transformative power of acceptance. Their honest and heartfelt conversation sheds light on the importance of support systems, open communication, and access to mental health care for transgender individuals.

Become a The Aware Mind subscriber. $6 a month will give you access to exclusive content, including guided meditations for better sleep, enhanced focus and much needed emotional healing. Link to Subscribe Today

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginner mindfulness meditators and anyone interested in learning supports for a variety of mental health challenges, including overthinking, trauma, intrusive thoughts and self-worth. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

The Aware Mind's host, Sarah Vallely has been teaching meditation for over 20 years and is a private coach, helping clients heal from a narcissistic parent, abusive partner, trauma from growing up with ADHD, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxiety.

Send us a text

This is a preview. Subscribe to access the entire 17-minute meditation.

In this guided meditation, you will gently explore your inner world using Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful approach to self-awareness and healing. You’ll begin by grounding yourself in a state of calm and openness, allowing space for curiosity and self-compassion. As you settle in, you’ll be invited to connect with one of your protector parts—a part of you that has worked hard to keep you safe, often by managing emotions, avoiding pain, or maintaining control. Through mindful inquiry, you’ll listen to this protector with kindness, understanding its fears and intentions without judgment.

Once trust is established, the meditation will guide you deeper to meet one of your exiled parts—a younger, more vulnerable part of you that holds old wounds, emotions, or beliefs that may have been pushed away. With the support of your protector and your compassionate presence, you’ll offer this exiled part the care and reassurance it has long needed. This journey allows you to build a bridge between these parts of yourself, fostering inner harmony and self-acceptance. By the end of the meditation, you’ll feel more connected, integrated, and empowered in your healing process.

Learn more about Sarah's coaching at SarahValley.com

Send us a text

In this episode, Sarah describes in detail, Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS is an approach some therapists use to help their clients gain better self-awareness of what stands in the way of their happiness and goals. Learn why you are a procrastinator, perfectionist or experience negative self-talk. IFS is a system within your psyche made up of three types of parts: the conscious self, protector parts and vulnerable parts. These parts were created when you were a child, even as early as infancy. IFS is becoming a popular method of mental health therapy because of its effectiveness in addressing a variety of mental health issues. And the good news is you do not have to go to a coach or therapist to use this approach, you can learn how to apply it to yourself.

Link to handout about IFS.

Become a The Aware Mind subscriber. $6 a month will give you access to exclusive content, including guided meditations for better sleep, enhanced focus and much needed emotional healing. Link to Subscribe Today

Important links:
Sarah's Mindfulness Coaching website: https://www.sarahvallely.com
TSD Mindfulness Coach Certification https://www.tsdmind.org

This episode is a meditation for beginners, and mindfulness for beginners resource. Intermediate and advanced meditators will also benefit. The Aware Mind produces content that supports stress reduction, anxiety relief, better concentration and focus, and trauma healing.

The Aware Mind is produced by TSD Mindfulness, a virtual meditation center, offering mindfulness classes, certifications and private coaching for people with past trauma, anxiety and depression disorders, business leaders, and people who work in the helping professions (i.e. counselors, healers and yoga and meditation teachers).