It's time to get feckless in Texas, at a strange simian start-up built by the muskrat himself. Why are those apes serving beverages to their human guests? And how will they serenade the tea party? All gets revealed in another awful edition of this sketch comedy podcast. But it's no ordinary episode. This is the Season Finale of Series One and, boy, do they milk that one. From the American Southwest we head to the great Jarndyce Booksellers, opposite the British Museum, for a slice of music hall nonsense. Susie in the Shoeshine Shop, no less. But there's no time to shudder. We're back on the beach for those barnacled boulevardiers - the Great Crustaceans - who are airing some musical differences. Will Squid Vicious get his free jazz masterpiece onto the new band release? Dream on, Squid. It only remains for West Country windbag Denzel Rumpo to try appeasing his errant spouse with some John Prine lyrics. Dream on, Denzel. Today's sponsor is Twinkle, a memory-aide which harnesses the power of ancient Peruvian tree bark, 'stripped by actual shamans'. And our previous sponsor was a catheter corporation. Makes you wonder what demographic the show's advertisers are targeting...

With thanks to Mike Hebbert on concertina, Dorian Ford on piano, and the great Irish storyteller Jack Lynch for his inspiration. We should also thank the assembler of this absurdity, Mr Matthew Crampton, but he's already off scouting nonsense for Series Two.

Don't forget to send in your suggestions for the letter W. Oh and if you like the show, do get in touch. Podcastville can be a quiet place.

More about Mr Crampton at matthewcrampton.com.

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Blimey, this new episode is all over the place. It starts at Everest base camp, but soon goes downhill. There are trips to South America, back to Tibet, and good 'ol London Town. The band on the beach, Great Crustaceans, ponder the possibility of a festival called Crustonberry, but it's a 'curated lifestyle festival' - with foraging! - so guitarist Razors hates the idea. Denzel Rumpo spills the beans on how his famous Uncle 'Rambling Syd Rumpo' got to be called 'Rambling'. (Clue. It's also about spilling beans, so to speak.) And, shock news, there's no advertiser this week, following last episode's scandal, when catheter product Sureconto Speediflow was not happy with presenter Matthew Crampton's delivery of their script.

Ah well, it's not the first time Mr Crampton has messed up the messaging. So let's forgo the thanks for him this week, even though he's the brains behind this baloney. But we will as ever thank pianist Dorian Ford (you really should check him out). And a special mention to the show's North Wales angling adviser, Geraint Roberts.

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The neurosurgeons can’t believe what they’ve found lurking in their patient’s cerebellum. And once again The Big Muddler makes its presence known. In another, ridiculous episode of this ‘comedy’ podcast, we venture from central London to somewhere tropical for a client meeting that turns chilly. Back on the beach, the Great Crustaceans open their own nightclub, but soon attract unwelcome visitors. Denzel Rumpo halts his cockling to take us down to Lamorna. Meanwhile in the land of Muddler Live, there’s a music hall classic plus some dire Listed Jokes. Today’s advertiser is rather unpleasant and graphic. And wait, are those real announcements from Radio Four? All this in barely half an hour of strange intrusion for your mind.

Thanks as ever to pianist Dorian Ford. And do make sure you follow the show. How else can you prepare for the devilment awaiting you in the final two episodes of Series One?

More about the show's high priest at https://matthewcrampton.com/

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