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  • 1.6 Let's Enter the Infinite Typing Pool
    2025/07/19

    It's time to get feckless in Texas, at a strange simian start-up built by the muskrat himself. Why are those apes serving beverages to their human guests? And how will they serenade the tea party? All gets revealed in another awful edition of this sketch comedy podcast. But it's no ordinary episode. This is the Season Finale of Series One and, boy, do they milk that one. From the American Southwest we head to the great Jarndyce Booksellers, opposite the British Museum, for a slice of music hall nonsense. Susie in the Shoeshine Shop, no less. But there's no time to shudder. We're back on the beach for those barnacled boulevardiers - the Great Crustaceans - who are airing some musical differences. Will Squid Vicious get his free jazz masterpiece onto the new band release? Dream on, Squid. It only remains for West Country windbag Denzel Rumpo to try appeasing his errant spouse with some John Prine lyrics. Dream on, Denzel. Today's sponsor is Twinkle, a memory-aide which harnesses the power of ancient Peruvian tree bark, 'stripped by actual shamans'. And our previous sponsor was a catheter corporation. Makes you wonder what demographic the show's advertisers are targeting...

    With thanks to Mike Hebbert on concertina, Dorian Ford on piano, and the great Irish storyteller Jack Lynch for his inspiration. We should also thank the assembler of this absurdity, Mr Matthew Crampton, but he's already off scouting nonsense for Series Two.

    Don't forget to send in your suggestions for the letter W. Oh and if you like the show, do get in touch. Podcastville can be a quiet place.

    More about Mr Crampton at matthewcrampton.com.

    Mad Chimpanzees.mp3 by allornothing21 -- https://freesound.org/s/235234/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    manual typewriter by theshaggyfreak -- https://freesound.org/s/118591/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Pouring tea by MrAuralization -- https://freesound.org/s/324937/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

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    25 分
  • 1.5 The Mystery of the Frozen Foot
    2025/06/22

    Blimey, this new episode is all over the place. It starts at Everest base camp, but soon goes downhill. There are trips to South America, back to Tibet, and good 'ol London Town. The band on the beach, Great Crustaceans, ponder the possibility of a festival called Crustonberry, but it's a 'curated lifestyle festival' - with foraging! - so guitarist Razors hates the idea. Denzel Rumpo spills the beans on how his famous Uncle 'Rambling Syd Rumpo' got to be called 'Rambling'. (Clue. It's also about spilling beans, so to speak.) And, shock news, there's no advertiser this week, following last episode's scandal, when catheter product Sureconto Speediflow was not happy with presenter Matthew Crampton's delivery of their script.

    Ah well, it's not the first time Mr Crampton has messed up the messaging. So let's forgo the thanks for him this week, even though he's the brains behind this baloney. But we will as ever thank pianist Dorian Ford (you really should check him out). And a special mention to the show's North Wales angling adviser, Geraint Roberts.

    VOC_230610-2267_FR_MarchingBand.wav by kevp888 -- https://freesound.org/s/690695/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Tibetan Chant high pass.wav by Razzvio -- https://freesound.org/s/79647/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

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    28 分
  • 1.4 Mayhem in the Brain Clinic
    2025/06/14

    The neurosurgeons can’t believe what they’ve found lurking in their patient’s cerebellum. And once again The Big Muddler makes its presence known. In another, ridiculous episode of this ‘comedy’ podcast, we venture from central London to somewhere tropical for a client meeting that turns chilly. Back on the beach, the Great Crustaceans open their own nightclub, but soon attract unwelcome visitors. Denzel Rumpo halts his cockling to take us down to Lamorna. Meanwhile in the land of Muddler Live, there’s a music hall classic plus some dire Listed Jokes. Today’s advertiser is rather unpleasant and graphic. And wait, are those real announcements from Radio Four? All this in barely half an hour of strange intrusion for your mind.

    Thanks as ever to pianist Dorian Ford. And do make sure you follow the show. How else can you prepare for the devilment awaiting you in the final two episodes of Series One?

    More about the show's high priest at https://matthewcrampton.com/

    city traffic noise main traffic intersection by Garuda1982 -- https://freesound.org/s/635155/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    LAX Airport Landing Sound Two by FreeToUseSounds -- https://freesound.org/s/402957/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

    jalan_cikini_edit.WAV by maarten_wez -- https://freesound.org/s/185988/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

    call_to_prayer.aif by ariat -- https://freesound.org/s/91360/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Antique Clock Ticking then Strikes Once by iainmccurdy -- https://freesound.org/s/646411/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    nixeno - hospital room ambience with clock, heart beeb and paging.mp3 by nixeno -- https://freesound.org/s/427092/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Club Bathroom Ambience.wav by bennathanras -- https://freesound.org/s/607421/ -- License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0

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    28 分
  • 1.3 The Truth about Stonehenge!
    2025/06/07

    What a revelation! Learn exactly why Stonehenge was built. Such truth has long eluded experts but now slips out during a dodgy variety show. But that's not all you get from this 26 minutes of mirth and mayhem. We start in West London, where a sensitive unearthing is soon derailed by mysterious sounds. Thence to America's deep south, where a revival meeting welcomes an oddly low-key foreigner. Meanwhile those lovable seaside entertainers - the Great Crustaceans - are bemused by a suggestion from Spider, their drummer. And there's more! Particularly more music, from Muddler Live - the land where the people love to laugh and sing. Mr Crampton crucifies an old punk classic, while Jan North warns us about Makin' Whoopee. This week's advertiser is Perky, 'one small pill and you're up and away'. Thanks to pianist Dorian Ford and the much loved, and much missed, Jan North.

    This is the third of six episodes of the mighty Series One. Make sure you follow The Big Muddler, so you can guarantee your supply of crucial claptrap.

    More at https://matthewcrampton.com/

    Minimal Tech Background Music - MTBM02 by gis_sweden -- https://freesound.org/s/696485/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Relaxing Jazz Music (loop) by Migfus20 -- https://freesound.org/s/723287/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

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    27 分
  • 1.2 Unexpected Outcome at The Shag Lab
    2025/05/29

    Well, it should have been a routine coupling at London Zoo's mating laboratory (aka The Shag Lab) but something unusual happened. And once again, The Big Muddler has muscled into town with its dubious blend of 'variety entertainment'. This time we meet Cornish correspondent - and phantom flautist - Denzel Rumpo, witness the stars of soap opera Great Crustaceans winding each other up, hear about a talking dog, and listen while Matthew Crampton insists on singing music hall classic If You Were the Only Girl in the World and sharing the testimony of All the Good Times are Past and Gone. Today's advertiser is Shakespearean Endings, which helps the terminally ill to shovel off their mortal coil. Thanks to guests pianist Dorian Ford and singer Jan North (who accompanies the testimony).

    There'll be four more episodes in Series One. Want to catch this High Grade Nonsense as soon as it arrives? Then follow The Big Muddler on the service of your choice (Apple, Spotify, Youtube etc).

    With thanks to Dorian Ford and Todd Landor, and in memory of the much missed Jan North.

    More about Mr Crampton at https://matthewcrampton.com/

    Anon: Angelus ad Virginem (from the album I Fagiolini Tudor Music from Hampton Court Palace) The Forbury Consort Catalogue no: GCCD4087 Label: Griffin. With permission of Musical Concepts

    Busnois: Fortuna Desperate (from the album I Fagiolini Tudor Music from Hampton Court Palace) The Forbury Consort Catalogue no: GCCD4087 Label: Griffin. With permission of Musical Concepts

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    27 分
  • 1.1 Trouble at the Tomb
    2025/05/20

    It starts in Egypt, but how does it end? With The Big Muddler, you can never be sure where you’re going. This edition – THE FIRST EVER EPISODE – heads down the beach with resident soap opera Great Crustaceans. Twice we cross to America to catch up with some entitled Brits. There’s a spooky story from Kathmandu, and several visits to Muddler Live – a land whose people love to laugh and sing. Your tour guide is Matthew Crampton, with guests poet Elvis McGonagall and pianist Dorian Ford. Enjoy the Variety!

    There'll be five more episodes in Series One. Want to catch this High Grade Nonsense as soon as it arrives? Then follow The Big Muddler on the service of your choice (Apple, Spotify, Youtube etc).

    With thanks to Dorian Ford, Elvis McGonagall and Todd Landor.

    More at https://matthewcrampton.com/

    Alford: On the Quarter Deck (from the album Favourite Military Bands) Band of the Grenadier Guards, Catalogue no: ALN1986 Label: Alto. With permission from Alto Distribution

    "Diabolic Waltz Piano Arrangement" Sample by SilverIllusionist -- https://freesound.org/s/658625/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Antique Clock Ticking then Strikes Once- Antique Clock Ticking then Strikes Once by iainmccurdy -- https://freesound.org/s/646411/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

    Bar_Crowd_-_Feb_2006.wav by lonemonk -- https://freesound.org/s/30414/ -- License: Attribution 3.0

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    26 分