The Session: 4 Lessons We Can Learn about Biblical manhood from Joseph

https://www.lcbcchurch.com/articles/4-lessons-we-can-learn-from-josephs-story

Open with the Matthew account of Joseph, in Matt.1:18-24

1. Acknowledge the truth

Joseph acknowledged the truth. When we’re stuck at the bad end of someone else’s decisions, it’s all too easy to point the finger and place blame. We tend to take it a step further and cast judgement on an entire group of people when, in reality, we were only wronged by one person. If you were bullied by popular kids in middle school, for example, did you grow up seeing “all popular kids” as a threat? While these are understandable self-preservation instincts, are they actually true?

Joseph was treated unfairly by so many people – enough that he could’ve made enemies out of the whole world! Instead, we see Joseph zero in on the individuals who specifically caused him pain. He doesn’t gloss over what was done, but he has enough wisdom to look at only the situation right in front of him without painting with broad strokes.

Acknowledging the truth provided Joseph with clarity, and it can do the same for us. When we focus on what’s immediately in front of us, we can gain clarity that will help us treat our pain at the source. By recognizing the true source of our pain, we can begin the process of healing and transformation.

2. “But God”

When we’re dealing with pain – and especially when this pain is caused by someone else’s actions – it's easy for us to become angry about what we feel we don’t deserve. We become so fixated on what’s right in front of us that we don’t easily see the bigger picture.

In the midst of his trials, Joseph chose to embrace a powerful perspective shift. He turned his gaze away from his pain and toward God, saying, "But God intended it all for good." Joseph chooses to surrender and trust in a higher plan.

While it may be difficult to comprehend the purpose behind our suffering, choosing to adopt a "But God" perspective allows us to step back and acknowledge that our story is not solely defined by the hurt we've experienced. By handing our pain over to God, we open ourselves to the possibility of growth, transformation, and redemption.

3. Trust God's plan

Joseph's story shows us what it looks like to trust in God's overarching plan. While he couldn't foresee the specifics of how his pain would lead to a greater purpose, Joseph held onto the belief that God was working behind the scenes.

This step requires faith and vulnerability, as we release the need for immediate answers and outcomes. Trusting in a divine plan invites us to relinquish our desire for control and instead lean into the belief that our pain can be woven into a greater narrative that brings about good.

4. Rely on God

Joseph relied on God. If you feel like you’re about to crumble under the weight of your circumstances, know that you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. When we can’t understand what’s happening or see the bigger picture in our pain, God is ready to carry us.

Only God can bring you to the place of hope and healing you’re desperately searching for. Joseph’s story shows us that when we fix our gaze on God and choose to rely on him, even the heaviest situations can be made lighter. Remember that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28).

Additional Lessons

Don't expose your spouse in public

· When Joseph learned that his fiancée was pregnant, he decided to break the engagement without exposing his wife to the public (Matthew 1:19). He did not want to disgrace her and op

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session-Help For Boomerang Parents-Potential Benefits From Being a Boomerang Child, from Focus On The Family, FaithFI and others

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5.

In July 2020, 52% of young adults in the US resided with one or both of their parents, according to a Pew Research Center analysis – the highest percentage the United States has seen since the end of the Great Depression.

National Longitudinal Study Of Youth 1997

Found: The evidence that mental health and economic characteristics were related to home leaving and returning. Emotional distress was associated with earlier exits from, and returns to, the parental home; alcohol problems were associated with earlier returns to the parental home. The findings regarding economic resources were unexpectedly mixed. Greater economic resources were linked to delayed exits from, and earlier returns to, the parental home. The implications of these findings for young adults are discussed.

Key aspects of Christian help for boomerang parents:

• Prayer and Spiritual Warfare: Praying for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and seeking God's wisdom in navigating the situation. This includes praying for the parent's patience, grace, and ability to discern God's will.
• Biblical Principles: Applying biblical principles regarding family dynamics, obedience, respect, and financial responsibility. This may include encouraging the child to work towards financial independence and setting boundaries within the household.
• Open Communication and Setting Expectations: Having open and honest conversations about expectations, roles, and responsibilities within the household. This may involve discussing financial contributions, chores, and rules for the home.
• Fostering Independence: Encouraging the child to pursue their own goals, whether it's career advancement or personal development. This may involve supporting their efforts to find employment, complete education, or seek financial independence.
• Seeking God's Guidance: Recognizing that God's ways are often higher than our own and trusting in His timing and plan. This includes surrendering the situation to God and trusting in His love and provision.
• Turning to God's Word: Seeking wisdom and guidance from God's word (the Bible) for navigating the unique challenges of a boomerang situation. This can help parents find comfort and reassurance.
• Family Counseling: Consider seeking guidance from a Christian counselor or mentor who can provide support and equip the family to navigate the situation.
• Community Support: Connecting with other parents who have experienced similar situations through support groups or online communities can provide encouragement and practical advice.

Practical Steps for Boomerang Parents:

1. Establish Clear Boundaries: Set expectations for the child's role in the household, including chores, financial contributions, and responsibilities.

2. Encourage Financial Responsibility: Help the child develop a budget, find employment, and work towards financial independence.

3. Communicate Openly and Respectfully: Have regular check-ins with the child to discuss progress, address concerns, and build understanding.

4. Pray Regularly: Pray for the child's well-being, direction, and maturity, and for the family's ability to navigate the situation with grace and patience.

5. Seek God's Wisdom: Turn to God's Word for guidance and strength, and trust in His timing and plan for the situation.

Potential Benefits From Being a Boomerang Child, from Jenna Ab

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session - Helping The Family Survive An Election; from KSBY.com

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Respectful Communication

• respectful communication helps both sides gain perspective
• Look at the big picture. Elections will come and go, but family remains.
• Focus on shared values
• Empathize with your family members
• Agree to disagree
• Ask clarifying questions
• Finding Common Ground:

Identify shared values or goals, even if you disagree on specific policies.

• Frame discussions around finding solutions to problems rather than solely focusing on blame or criticizing the other side.

Election Season Stress from vcuhealth.org from Joan Toppounce

• In their article on Election Season Stress, Peyton Lassiter, who specializes in family counseling, states that he believes our mental health depends on our relationships with our loved ones. That's why it's important to avoid stress and strife in those relationships.
• Political views can cause friction in relationships because they are intertwined with our values about what is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, reasonable or unreasonable, good or bad.
• Political views also expose the different worldviews between the younger generation and their parents.
• Separate the sin from the sinner, the behavior or belief from the person. Discuss the issue without attacking the person.
• Avoiding conversations that appear to be headed toward a political charge is very important. That includes removing yourself from the room that is about to explode over a political issue.
• Boundaries help us stay in relationships. It is boundaries that keep it safe to discuss sensitive topics.
• Boundaries should focus on my needs and what I will or won’t permit, not what others need to do.

Keep your marriage full of putting your spouse first

To start, make his and her lists. Later, bring the two together and create a master list that blends the best from both. Don’t be afraid to try new adventures. The main point is to make plans that both of you can anticipate together.

Get that? Fun. Together. Repeat. Often.

Focus on the family learning to communicate in a relationship-an example

Betsy is wondering about that. She’s hurt that her husband, Carl, seems to have lost interest in her. She interprets his lack of communication as evidence that he doesn’t love her. This puts her in a panic; she becomes needy and controlling, trying to force Carl to “talk about the problem.” This creates more pressure for Carl, who retreats further.

Carl is overwhelmed by Betsy’s need for conversation. It feels like a void that could never be filled. This is decreasing his desire to be intimate with her; he’s finding excuses to avoid even spending time together. He’d rather hang out with friends who are less demanding.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Living the Empty Nest Life to the Fullest, from Michelle Howe, Focus on the Family

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Rev Up Your Marriage

• This could be a marriage retreat
• It could also mean planning more 24-72 hour getaways
• It may also include going on a cruise

Keep Talking

• Try to connect with the person that you originally fell in love with and talk about memories
• You could attempt to make it a romantic evening over a nice dinner for two.

Make a list of things that you would want to see happen or do with your remaining years

• Jeremiah 29:11 tells us to focus on the plans, hope and the future that God has for the remainder of your married life.
• You and your spouse should be open to trying new things in the empty nest. That may mean joining a local gym or taking up a sport. It could be a dance group or a book club.

Don’t Let the Past Predict and/or Ruin the Future

• It is important that we keep short accounts of anger. If one of you or your spouse are carrying a past hurt, it is important to bring it before the Lord and lay it at Jesus feet and let go of it.

Actively Strengthen Relationships, and Prioritize Self-Care

• This could mean focusing on a relationship that is important to both of you that may have been neglected over time. Encourage getting together for a meal or some kind of outing.
• As mentioned earlier, joining a gym can help a couple enhance their self-care. Regular workouts will help maintain the body longer.

Travel

• It is very doable to check online for a day trip in your state that you live in. This is an example of something you may not have had time to do when you were in the heat of your

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Need For Rest, from Amanda Idleman, Crosswalk.com

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work (Genesis 2:2)

3 Reasons Why it Is Crucial That We Rest

The inability to rest affects every part of our lives. It’s a lie from the enemy of our souls that we can do it all, that we can ignore our own…

1. God Commands Us to Rest:

Hebrews 4:9-11 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.”

2. Rest Empowers Us to Live Righteously: Galatians 6:9 urges us to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up. How is it that we avoid weariness? Through making sure we get adequate rest.

3. Rest Improves Our Productivity:

When we give him our minds, bodies, schedules, and other needs, he empowers us to do more with less!

6 Helps For Better Sleep from the Mayo Clinic

1. Stick to a sleep schedule

Set aside no more than eight hours for sleep. The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours. Most people don't need more than eight hours in bed to be well rested.

Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends. Being consistent reinforces your body's sleep-wake cycle.

If you don't fall asleep within about 20 minutes of going to bed, leave your bedroom and do something relaxing. Read or listen to soothing music. Go back to bed when you're tired. Repeat as needed but continue to maintain your sleep schedule and wake-up time.

2. Pay attention to what you eat and drink

Don't go to bed hungry or stuffed. In particular, avoid heavy or large meals within a couple of hours of bedtime. Discomfort might keep you up.

Nicotine, caffeine and alcohol deserve caution, too. The stimulating effects of nicotine and caffeine take hours to wear off and can interfere with sleep. And even though alcohol might make you feel sleepy at first, it can disrupt sleep later in the night.

3. Create a restful environment

Keep your room cool, dark and quiet. Exposure to light in the evenings might make it more challenging to fall asleep. Avoid prolonged use of light-emitting screens just before bedtime. Consider using room-darkening shades, earplugs, a fan or other devices to create an environment that suits your needs.

Doing calming activities before bedtime, such as taking a bath or using relaxation techniques, might promote better sleep.

4. Limit daytime naps (BUT I LIKE MY NAPEE!)

Long daytime naps can interfere with nighttime sleep. Limit naps to no more than one hour and avoid napping late in the day.

However, if you work nights, you might need to nap late in the day before work to help make up your sleep debt.

5. Include physical activity in your daily routine

Regular physical activity can promote better sleep. However, avoid being active too close to bedtime.

Spending time outside every day might be helpful, too.

6. Manage worries

Try to resolve your worries or concerns before bedtime. Jot down what's on your mind and then set it aside for tomorrow.

Stress management might help. Start with the basics, such as getting organized, setting priorities and delegating tasks. Meditation also can ease anxiety.

Know when to contact your health care provider

Nearly everyone has an occasional sleepless night. However, if you often have trouble sleeping, contact your health care provider. Identifying and treating any underlying causes can help you get the better sleep you deserve.

Mayo Clinic Mi

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: The Energy Vampire, by Dr. Mosunic

Psalm 29:11

May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!

First, let’s define the energy vampire…bleh bleh bleh

Different types of energy vampires?

Energy vampires are people who suck the energy right out of you. After talking to them, you feel exhausted and are not real sure why.

Dr. Mosunic would say that energy vampires are the type of person who constantly demands your attention, support, or empathy, oftentimes without realizing it. The effects of being around an energy vampire is more than just feeling a bit tired after a long chat. It's about feeling constantly worn out, stressed, or even sad after your interactions with them.

Different types of energy vampires

The Victim

This type of energy vampire is always encountering problems and seeking sympathy. They often see themselves as perpetually wronged by life and share their woes frequently, expecting constant support and reassurance.

The Criticizer

The criticizer is quick to point out flaws and rarely has anything positive to say. Whether it's about your choices or general aspects of life, their constant criticism can chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling judged and inadequate.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

The Dramatizer

The dramatizer’s need for drama can create an atmosphere of tension and unrest. They are capable of blowing things out of proportion to keep the center of attention.

• They tell the worst-case scenario for attention and acceptance

The Blamer

Blamers have a habit of holding others responsible for their own problems. They struggle to take accountability for their actions and often find someone else to point fingers at

• Blame has a job description. It keeps the fuels of anger alive, and it shifts responsibility to take care of it to the person they are angry at.

The Manipulator

Manipulators are skilled in using emotional tactics to get what they want. They might use guilt, pity, or flattery, making it challenging to discern their true intentions.

• The all too powerful guilt trip

How to spot an emotional vampire: 4 signs

They Need to Be The Center Of Attention

• They are capable of interrupting conversations and driving them back to themselves
• Their constant need for attention can be very draining

They exaggerate problems

• Sarcasm is their friend. They are very capable of blowing things out of proportion.

They blame others constantly

• They refuse to take responsibility for their issues.
• Their toxicity is very toxic on their environment where people don’t want to work.
• The Locus of Control isn’t in them

They use people

They are masterful at manipulating people and situations to their advantage

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Family Issues

Psalm 133:1

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

Family issues are when an actual or potential conflict between or related to family members becomes a constant source of negative emotions.

• When a family cannot resolve conflicts and and emotional intensity around the relationship becomes overwhelming, it can lead to symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

What Are Some Symptoms Of Family Issues?

From Pew Research Center

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things. Over an extended period, this can translate into mental health issues.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless.
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles, often time due to family worries like financial troubles or other money problems, or the inability to resolve conflicts in your own home.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other people you’re close to. For example, tension with a parent might make you more sensitive in your relationship with your partner. Or differences between parenting styles may affect healthy communication within the family as a whole.
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth. It can lead to feelings of inferiority
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Different Kinds of Conflict

Parent/child conflict:

• Parents often play such a large part in our earliest development, issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.

Issues with siblings:

• Competition, comparison, different relational styles: all of these (and many other factors) can lead to conflict with siblings.

Communication Issues

• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Causes of Family Stress, from Better Help

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)

Parental relationship problems

• Constant parent fighting causes unnecessary and unproductive tension in children’s lives

Finances

• Job loss, inability to work, uncontrolled spending, gambling problems, or another reason, stress and conflict related to money and bills is common.

Health Conditions

• When one or more family members is experiencing a health challenge—from a chronic physical condition to a mental illness to a disability

Toxic behaviors between family members

• Sometimes, stress or dysfunction in a family can be traced primarily to the toxic behaviors of one member. For example, someone who frequently engages in manipulation tactics, dishonesty, scapegoating, or similar behaviors can be extremely difficult or even dangerous to live with. These can be personality traits or signs of certain personality disorders.

Unaddressed trauma related to family issues

• In most cases, trauma that has not been effectively and healthily recognized, processed, and healed will cause issues in a person’s life in some way. A family unit that experiences trauma together—such as war, a natural disaster, or the sudden death of a loved one.

Unhealthy expectations

• Family members who feel pressure to conform to unhealthy and/or impossible standards may experience negative effects as a result. For example, a household where each child is expected to perform perfectly in school, never express negative emotions, or never bring up conflict can eventually cause them to disengage or lash out.

Too much or too little time together

• On the other hand, families that are so busy or live so far apart that they rarely get to spend quality time together could also end up experiencing conflict.

Poor or nonexistent communication

• Healthy, honest, frequent communication is widely considered to be the foundation of healthy relationships of all types. Families without it are likely to experience recurrent conflict as issues that arise may not be properly addressed and members may not feel heard.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.