One of the scariest things I’ve done was let go of what I believed to be the truth about how to survive in this stressful world. My nervous system was shot. One could visibly see me shaking and hear my stomach doing gymnastics. To defend the life I’d built and settle my trembling hands, I had to drink. So, taking off that armor by denying myself alcohol was like casting me out naked in front of the world.

There’s a stage in early recovery, I like to call the “naked zone”, where we’ve stopped drinking but haven’t yet received the benefits of the program or learned the tools to manage life sober. That zone is vulnerable but unavoidable. Without the structure of the program and the people around me, I would’ve been swallowed by it. I just kept showing up because that’s what my sober friends told me to do.

My ego was blocking me from learning that my self-constructed truth was a mirage. Desperation cracked open my ego just enough to let the light of the program in. I began to hear other alcoholics sharing the thoughts that were in my head. And with that my ego quietly and gently broke down leaving me in tears. Those tears represented the years of pain my ego was protecting. Today I walk in a joyful truth that doesn’t require armor.

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For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SoberLiving #LetGoAndLetGod #RecoveryJourney #EmotionalSobriety #OpenMindOpenHeart #EgoInCheck #OneDayAtATime #SurrenderToWin #HealingInProgress #TeachableSpirit

Today I was thinking about the quiet voice inside me. It’s not the one that I call self-talk that likes to beat me up. It’s the one that tells me what “the next right thing” is. I had a long talk with my mom today about life and death, and I thought about how much energy exists inside us while we’re alive. When someone passes, it fascinates me to think about where that energy goes. I’ve come to imagine that it becomes a part of my Higher Power, the force that is everything outside of me that pulls me forward through my life. It comforts me to believe that the energy from the people I’ve lost is still here fueling my sobriety and healing. That belief brings me peace in grief and gives purpose to the voice I hear guiding me through hard stuff.

That voice used to sound very different. When I was drinking, the voice inside my head was impulsive, selfish, and destructive. It served up instant gratification and shame. But today, in sobriety and stroke recovery, I hear a different voice when I pause instead of react. It’s quieter, patient, and tender. It reminds me to rest, show up for life, and do the right thing even when I don’t want to. The voice remains steady and forgiving when I don’t listen to it.

So, what do you believe that voice is? I’m learning to trust it, pause and listen, and believe that everything is okay right this minute, even when I don’t have all the answers.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SoberLiving #EmotionalSobriety #HealingJourney #StrokeRecovery #HigherPower #InnerVoice #GriefHealing #MindfulRecovery #TrustTheProcess #SpiritualGrowth

I recently decided to reconnect with a part of my life I had left behind. After graduating from Longwood College, I disconnected from Zeta Tau Alpha, the women’s fraternity I belonged to. For years, I avoided because college left me with memories of sadness, low self-worth, and heavy drinking. Even though I loved the women around me, I never felt whole or that I had anything worthy to offer. I masked deep insecurity with alcohol and unhealthy relationships, always believing I didn’t measure up. When one of my dearest sisters passed away recently, I was overwhelmed by an unexpected wave of love and appreciation for the bond we shared as sisters in ZTA and the Panhellenic Council. In her honor, I rejoined Zeta through ZTAlways, the fraternity's Virtual Alumnae Membership Experience. It felt like a meaningful step toward healing and reconnection.

Alcoholism is often called the “lonely disease,” and that hollow feeling stayed with me long after graduation. Alcohol temporarily filled the emptiness, but when it wore off, I felt even more alone and broken. Today, I fight that old narrative by choosing connection intentionally. Social media is one way I do that. It now serves a deeper purpose in my life as a recovering alcoholic with a vestibular disorder that often keeps me physically isolated. Isolation is dangerous for me, and connection is my medicine. So, thank you for showing up for me today. 😉

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#AlcoholRecovery #SoberLiving #MentalHealthAwareness #SisterhoodStrong #HealingJourney #YouAreNotAlone #LonelyDisease #ConnectionIsMedicine #RecoveryCommunity #ZetaTauAlpha