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  • EP41 – I wish i had stayed in touch with my friends

    EP41 – I wish i had stayed in touch with my friends
    2018/01/28

    I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

    It’s interesting to know that one of the common regrets of the dying is not realising the full benefits of old friendships.

    It’s only up to their dying weeks do some come to the realisation and by then it is difficult to track them down.

    As individuals we often get ourselves caught up in our own lives and over time we let our friendships fade over the years.

    Have you been guilty of this?

    Naturally growing apart, lack

    of effort, or Distancing yourself?

    Some friendship naturally grow apart over time, and that is ok – we often grow at different times and some friendship are for a season.

    Some friendship have come to an end by choice may be due to a disagreement or a realisation and sometimes years later we reflect and feel we could have reacted differently.

    Some friendship have broken down due to a lack of effort.

    If you are reflecting on some friendship it is good to notice the causes to help you build and improve them.

    Showing Appreciation

    Showing your friends appreciation goes a long way, whether it would be as simple as writing a card or a letter to them, or taking them out for an appreciation meal.

    We sometimes overlook the things that matter in life, and the best thing to do is take time out and reflect deeply on your relationships.

    Tips
    • Work on communication
      • Ask questions like “What can I change to improve this friendship”
      • Work out and understand each other – one of the biggest causes of conflict is misunderstanding and expectations
    • Frequency, make a commitment to speak, see each other on a regular basis
    • Find events that you share common interests

    More Information

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/9049120/Losing-touch-with-friends-most-common-deathbed-regret.html

    https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-wish-had-stayed-touch-my-friends-sharnee-bennett/

    https://www.bhavinionline.com/tag/regret-i-wish-i-had-stayed-in-touch-with-my-friends/

    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

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    48 分
  • EP40 – I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

    EP40 – I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
    2018/01/21
    I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

    In todays society many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

    The truth is that we cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.” – Bronnie Ware, Author of the Book “The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying”.

    On a personal level, I never used to express or feel my feelings (Ola). In my lifetime I had learnt to bury my feelings deep within me to ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. In my own mind “weak people” had feelings and expressed them. But I had feelings. They simmered within me feelings of anger, disappointment, bitterness, rage, disillusionment, jealousy, resignation, shame, guilt, apathy, loneliness, sadness, pain & fear.

    Reasons for this behaviour include conflict phobia, emotional perfectionism, fear of rejection, passive aggressive behaviour, negative notions of what a man is and show be, low self esteem, spontaneity, mind reading, martyrdom, and a high need to solve problems.

    Because I didn’t express my feelings this meant that I acted differently in front of people, put on a fake false self. I did not make myself available to others, I withdrew from people and I was not fully present or engaged. I would also often overreact to the slightest slight and ultimately lived life in a drama fuelled haze that felt totally crazy. I held onto unhealed and confused feelings far too long and felt weighed down by the whole thing.

    Learning how to express my feelings was basically like learning how to walk.

    Once I learnt how to express my feelings, it felt like a major release. In truth a major victory. I learnt how to acknowledge how I feel, address the source of those feelings, stay open & vulnerable and to let the emotion run it’s course.

    It has been completely freeing, liberating and positive to my life learning these new skills.

    Finding the courage to express my feelings continues to be a major source of my day to day inspiration, and for that I will be forever grateful.

    As such, I encourage and implore you all to express how you are truly feeling, especially with your loved ones

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    40 分
  • EP39 -Being true to yourself and not others expectations

    EP39 -Being true to yourself and not others expectations
    2018/01/14
    Being true to yourself and not others expectationsBelieve it or not, the most common regrets the dying have is not Being True to yourself and leaving to other peoples expectations.Are you surprised?Think about your past especially when you was in secondary/high school and all you cared about is fitting in; although puberty is a difficult moment we do have people around us placing expectation on us – like what is cool and what isn’tOne of the biggest expectations is usually from those closest to us – Family. Depending on your upbringing your parents may have said or visioned for you to be either a lawyer or doctor.Unknowingly these expectations could have a negative impact on our growth and development, even more worrying some may later resent their partners in the future.Go with that gut feeling!Often in life, we are faced with moments of decisions such as attending a friends party. Everyone is going and hyped up for it but deep down you don’t want to go.Your insides are screaming not to go, but you are worried people will label you as “boring”. What do you do? If you go you will be fronting, expending unnecessary energy and waiting for the first opportunity to go home.ORDo you be true to yourself and have the courage to speak how you feel, “I’m not feeling it to be honest – it’s a no from me. But have fun”.Although difficult you aren’t putting yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.Benefits of being true to yourselfYou are respecting yourself by being trueYou aren’t using energy trying to maintain a personaYou will be happier for itHow to be true to yourself?We shared a few of our experiences that have helped:-Learn that you can’t please everyoneLearn to be selfish at times for your own benefitUnderstand you have one life so make the most out of itSeek internal happiness – check out our previous episode on self-loveForm a protective barrier from external voices and expectationsTake time out to reflectAsk yourself questions, why am I doing this, who am I doing this for?Remember you are the one that is walking around with your body for 24 hours, 7 days a week – do what is best for yourself.More Informationhttps://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3617/The-Importance-of-Being-True-to-Yourself.htmlhttps://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-feeley/what-does-it-mean-to-be-t_1_b_8033654.htmlhttps://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3617/The-Importance-of-Being-True-to-Yourself.htmlhttps://www.essentiallifeskills.net/betruetoyourself.htmlhttps://tinybuddha.com/blog/dare-to-live-10-unconventional-ways-to-be-true-to-yourself/ Don’t forget to follow us on our social media platformsWebsiteTwitterInstagramPinterestFacebookSoundcloudApple PodcastYoutube#tagmeinpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    43 分
  • EP38 – The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

    EP38 – The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
    2018/01/08
    EP38 – The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

    The author of the book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” Bronnie Ware – spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies and put her observations into a book.

    They are as follows:

    1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

    2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

    3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

    4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

    5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

    Products from Amazon.co.uk
    • -23% The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing Price: £8.48 Was: £10.99
    ‹ ›

    What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

    The following weeks will explore each of the 5 regrets in more detail

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    29 分
  • EP37 -Reflecting on your year

    EP37 -Reflecting on your year
    2017/12/31
    Reflecting on your yearAs the year comes to an end a thing we all seem to do is Reflecting; we often spend this time of the year reflecting on the 12 months events and we begin to set a tone for the next year.Have you ever been in a room where someone has asked: “what’s your new year resolution going to be?”So 2017 is over, what now?Are you a person who declares to the world “New Year, New Me”, what about sending a message to all your contact via WhatsApp about the changes 2018 will bring.Now it is important to understand that not all changes will occur straight away, and changes that time to kick in.Theme of the yearDo you recap on the year and give it a theme? It’s great to look at each year and add a theme. For example, if the biggest highlight of the year was strengthening relationships then you should call this year the year of relationship building.Questions are always the best way to reflect.Exploring starts by asking question, so take the time to sit down and ask yourself some questions like:-What did I like about this year?What did I not Like? What do I need to do to change itHow am I doing?What has been your biggest win?What has been your biggest low?What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about?If you had to describe your 2017 in 3 words, what would they be?What new things did you discover about yourself?What was your favourite place that you visited?Other Methods of reflectingUsing a vision board helps with reflecting, the visual representation of your goals can help you understand where you are on your journey.The most effective form is using a journal which has documented your every move over a period of time, you can easily pinpoint your wins and losses, your mistakes and your lessons.Quarter LivingRather than waiting for 12 months to reflect, perhaps try to break them down into quarters. Quarters are more manageable and make it easier to reflect and set the theme for the quarter.Just don’t go overboard and state the predicted growth in Q1 will be 190%.Don’t forget gratitudeWe often reflect on the things that went good and bad but sometimes the simplest things get ignored, just taking time out to realise what you have is important.Has your character changed?Shockingly over a 12 month period you characteristic can change, start your year off with a VIA Survey and reflect on it year on year.Tips for making 2018 greatSharing your goals with others helps a long way, perhaps use the start of the year wave to form some accountability partners where you check up on each other every 4 weeks to see how you are progressing.Perhaps keep a journal and try and document the next 365 days/52 weeks.Remember you can’t achieve the world in 12 monthsIt’s good to reflect on the year but don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t meet all your goals, try and reflect on what you have learnt, and how much you have changed as an individual.More Informationhttps://greatist.com/live/reflect-on-your-yearhttp://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/20-questions-to-help-you-reflect-the-past-year.htmlhttps://anuschkarees.com/blog/2014/12/16/your-year-in-review-50-questions-to-help-you-reflect-appreciate-and-get-excited-for-2015 Don’t forget to follow us on our social media platformsWebsiteTwitterInstagramPinterestFacebookSoundcloudApple PodcastYoutube#tagmeinpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    47 分
  • EP36 – Did Someone Say Its Christmas

    EP36 – Did Someone Say Its Christmas
    2017/12/27

    In this weeks episode Anton & Ola discuss their past journeys through the Christmas festive period. they look at great and no so great presents that have been received over the years. and more importantly how it’s a time for friends and families to get together and spend quality time. In addition to this they also mention of their times helping and giving back to others in need.

    article to follow shortly

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    41 分
  • EP35 – What is mentoring?

    EP35 – What is mentoring?
    2017/12/17
    What is mentoring?Mentoring is a relationship formed where you are given support and encouraged by someone to aid you in your development, often a person who has the experience and the know how to help you achieve your potential.On this episode of the back of hosting the Friendtor Event, we discuss the importance and our understanding of mentors.What do mentors do for you?Mentors have the ability to help you evaluate and reach your potential, they are often on hand to support you and also give you an insight into a particular industry.What are the benefits of a mentor? The list of benefits of having a mentor is endless but include the following:-Forming a relationship which makes you feel supported, along with encouragement and advice.As part of the experience, you both gain confidence and leadership skillsMentees are often held accountable for their goals and that added pressure means they will overcome many challenges.A mentee is able to utilise their mentors’ network to their benefits.Why it’s important to have a mentor?The forming of a long-term relationship is beneficial to a mentee, not only do they grow and develop throughout the relationship period. The mentor shares invaluable teaching and insight to an individual, further to this the relationship formed could be utilised in the future which may lead to other opportunities – The power of your networkWhat is a good mentor?A good mentor will challenge you often to help you break out of your comfort zoneA good mentor will try and make you open your eyes and see things from a different perspective.A good mentor will aid you to develop your goals and objectivesA good mentor will offer you encouragement but will not give you the complete blueprintThe role of a menteeAs a mentee, there are things you can do to ensure you respect the relationship:-Be open and share your goals with your mentorAdmit your weaknesses and fearsDo not expect your mentor to solve all your problemsUnderstand when to talk and when to listenResearch and prepare appropriatelyDo not abuse the relationship formed with your mentorMore Informationhttp://www.mentorset.org.uk/what-is-mentoring.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mentorshiphttps://www.thebalance.com/a-guide-to-understanding-the-role-of-a-mentor-2275318https://www.careersandenterprise.co.uk/mentoringDon’t forget to follow us on our social media platformsWebsiteTwitterInstagramPinterestFacebookSoundcloudApple PodcastYoutube#tagmeinpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    44 分
  • EP34 – Influence and Inspire my Mind

    EP34 – Influence and Inspire my Mind
    2017/12/10
    Influence and Inspire my MindIn a world currently obsessed with measuring talent and ability, we tend to overlook the important role of inspiration. Inspiration awakens us to new possibilities by allowing us to transcend our ordinary experiences and limitations. Inspiration propels a person from apathy to possibility, and transforms the way we perceive our own capabilities. Inspiration may sometimes be overlooked because of its elusive nature. Its history of being treated as supernatural or divine hasn’t helped the situation.There’s a common belief that there are three fundamental ways to get people to do things: You can coerce them, you can motivate them or you can inspire them.In the past, businesses have used carrots and sticks to get performance OUT of people. Today, it’s all about having people who have achieved a particular goal or aim to act as sources of inspiration.Carrots and sticks are necessary and always will be; however, 21st century leaders also recognize their limits and disadvantages.Coercion requires an ongoing investment in a bureaucracy of rules, processes and enforcement. Motivation is expensive, particularly in a down market where money does not flow as freely, dollar-based performance targets are more difficult to achieve and bonuses are more difficult to pay out. Plus, motivation cannot be shared and rarely connects individuals to a higher sense of purpose.We have entered an era of inspiration, where we will see great results from employees who are invested in not just the company’s potential for success but also the company’s underlying mission. Employees do not work just for the pay but also for their ability to achieve something they find inspiring.Inspirational leadership is also a lot more efficient.As an example take Nelson Mandela. After 27 years in prison Nelson Mandela was freed in 1990 and negotiated the end of apartheid in South Africa bringing peace to a racially divided country and leading the fight for human rights around the world. This sparked various revolutions and protests alike worldwide regarding the freedom of oppressed people.Another example would be Arnold Schwarzenegger. He rose to fame as the world’s top bodybuilder, launching a career that would make him a giant Hollywood star. After years of blockbuster movie roles, Schwarzenegger went into politics, becoming governor of California in 2003.Following this a central culture rose worldwide for getting fit and having the body of a god/goddess. On a more fundamental aspect it has sparked people to live longer and have healthier lifestyles.A very prominent source of inspiration is also Oprah Winfrey. Considered a hero and source of motivation and inspiration by many. She is a woman who came from an abusive childhood and has become an influential television host, actress, producer, and philanthropist. When Oprah wants to make a change, she stands up for what she believes in. Oprah Winfrey is a source of inspiration to me personally because she is selfless and dedicated.People’s values are at the root of Inspiration. Values are efficient: a handful help us navigate infinite situations better than any rule book. They are timeless: giving us strength to be consistent even though the pressures of life tell us to be situational. They are enduring: inspiring us to be principled however inconvenient, unpopular or dangerous that might be. Values elevate us to act beyond what we can do, to embrace what we should do.Whereas coercion and motivation happens to you, inspiration happens in you.A great way to get started to feel inspired by those around you could be to start reading the biographies of the greats worldwide.Good starting pointMartin Luther King (1929 – 1968) Civil Rights leaderAbraham Lincoln(1809 – 1865) American President during civil war, helped end slaveryNelson Mandela(1918 – 2013) Anti-apartheid leader, first President of democratic South Africa in 1994 Don’t forget to follow us on our social media platformsWebsiteTwitterInstagramPinterestFacebookSoundcloudApple PodcastYoutube#tagmeinpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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    49 分