Have you ever looked around and felt that the way you live and work isn’t sustainable?

It’s hard to find anyone who hasn’t felt the weight of this relentless pace and the intense pressure to keep up as if this is just how modern life has to be.

But what if it doesn’t have to be this way?

Our culture in the U.S. is burdened by pressures to keep up, excel, and do it all, often without the support systems to help us carry that load.

What if we paused to question the assumptions driving us to stay so busy and overextended?

Today’s guest invites us to imagine stepping off the hamster wheel and envisioning what it would look like to challenge the norms we’ve been handed about work and life.

We can’t all pack up and move, but we can make small but powerful steps towards a more sustainable way of living, working, and leading.

Kirsten Powers is a New York Times bestselling author and writes the bestselling Substack publication Changing the Channel. Jon Meacham called her most recent book, Saving Grace: Speak Your Truth, Stay Centered and Learn to Coexist with People Who Drive You Nuts, "a great gift at an urgent hour.”

Kirsten served as an on-air CNN senior political analyst for seven years. She has been a columnist for USA Today, the Daily Beast and the New York Post, and a political analyst at Fox News. Before her career in journalism, Kirsten was a political appointee in the Clinton Administration, worked in New York Democratic politics and was Vice President for International Communications at AOL, Inc.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Kirsten’s awakening to the fact that American culture is “not normal”
• How neoliberalism reshaped our relationship with work, class, and consumerism
• A reality check on what it takes to make radical changes in your life, at home or abroad
• How unpacking paradigms about work and being busy has led Kirsten to question so many other norms in American life
• The intense and long-term physical toll of our culture’s obsession with overwork
• What gives Kirsten hope that America can do and be better in the future

Learn more about Kirsten Powers:

• Changing the Channel
• Instagram: @kirstenpowers
• Saving Grace: Speak Your Truth, Stay Centered and Learn to Coexist with People Who Drive You Nuts

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• The way we live in the United States is not normal
• The Rise and Fall of the Neoliberal Order: America and the World in the Free Market Era, Gary Gerstle
• Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-And What We Can Do about It, Jennifer Breheny Wallace
• Circle of Hope: A Reckoning with Love, Power, and Justice in an American Church, Eliza Griswold
• House of the Dragon
• Pretty in Pink

Humans tend to crave certainty. In the face of the unknown, we rely on prescriptions and narratives to help us feel better and make sense of what we can’t yet see coming.

For many, sitting with uncertainty like what we are facing now, post-election in the United States, is deeply unsettling and even destabilizing. They brace for what might come next, anxious and ruminating, and looking for answers.

It’s a natural human response, but it can also leave us stuck in a loop that offers no comfort, only more fear and anxiety.

People will look to the leaders around them for comfort and for answers. And while you may not be able to provide the definitive answers anyone seeks, you can help those you lead and love feel supported and grounded as we all navigate these difficult times.

Today, I’m sharing strategies, practices, and thoughts that can help us move through uncertainty, for ourselves and the ones we love and lead.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How and why to establish “certainty anchors” for those you lead
• Why an honest, compassionate presence is more beneficial than pretending you have all the answers
• Why we need to balance courage and comfort, and the fine line between caring and caretaking
• Why finding grounding routines is essential, no matter how small or scrappy or imperfect
• How claiming your personal power and agency will help you feel less stuck
• How we build trust and resilience in our relationships amidst uncertainty

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Follow the Unburdened Leader on Substack
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brené Brown
• EP 114: Why Bother? Navigating Burnout and Rediscovering Purpose with Jennifer Louden
• EP 88: Right-Use-of-Power: Navigating Leadership Dynamics with Dr. Cedar Barstow
• Diary of a Freelancer, Amanda Jones
• Hope, Despair, and Wellbeing Intelligence - by Jen Fisher
• EP 117: Rethinking Resilience: Moving from Bouncing Back to Relational Resilience with Soraya Chemaly
• EP 113: Curiosity as a Bridge: Uncovering Fears and Building Connections with Scott Shigeoka

As the United States approaches one of the most important elections, many people I know are expressing how the current state of affairs is affecting their work, home life, and overall well-being.

With the stress and the chaos, it would be easy to shut down and ask, “Why bother?”

This is why it feels especially timely to bring back my long-time friend, Iowa state representative and state house minority leader, Jennifer Konfrst, to the podcast.

Whether it's a major election, a looming work deadline, or a personal goal, we all carry heavy responsibilities on top of what's happening in our country. I wanted to talk to Jennifer about how she finds the strength to keep going, even when the victories are hard-won or the losses are break-your-heart big.

Jennifer shares her not-so-secret recipe for staying true to her values and community, staying open and seeking support, which helps her avoid falling into despair and hopelessness.

Her perspective is a source of hope, motivation, and a call to keep fighting that many of us need right now.

Jennifer Konfrst teaches public relations & strategic political communication courses at Drake University in Des Moines, IA. Before joining the Drake journalism faculty in 2013, she worked in public relations for 20 years, most recently at Iowa Public Television.

She also serves as an Iowa House of Representatives member, representing the 43rd district since 2019. She is the House minority leader, a position she has held since 2021, and she is the first woman to hold this position in Iowa.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• What the Iowa Supreme Court ruling on abortion taught Jennifer about showing up even when you’re devastated and angry
• The self-care that is essential for Jennifer in the face of setbacks and struggles at the State House
• How Jennifer builds trust in her leadership with her caucus in her role as House Minority Leader
• How consistently highlighting and celebrating even small wins helps keep people motivated
• How her personal healing work has helped Jennifer allow for disagreement and conflict within her caucus
• The challenges of trust with voters, representatives across the aisle, and within her party
• The case for getting and staying engaged in politics, especially at the local level

Learn more about Jennifer Konfrst:

• Website
• Instagram: @KonfrstForHouse
• Twitter: @KonfrstForHouse

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• EP 114: Why Bother? Navigating Burnout and Rediscovering Purpose with Jennifer Louden
• EP 30: Committing to Being an Engaged Leader and Engaged Citizen with Iowa State Rep. Jennifer Konfrst
• The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work, Charles Feltman
• Taylor Swift - The Man
• The Chicks - March March
• The West Wing
• Schitt’s Creek
• Parks and Recreation

When was the last time you said, “Why bother?”

When overwhelm, exhaustion, burnout, and the weight of responsibility set in, it's easy to become cynical and ask, "What's the point?"

Cynicism can be a defense mechanism, shielding us from difficult emotions or experiences, but it also traps us in survival mode, limiting our ability to see new possibilities or paths forward.

Constantly being in fight-or-flight mode makes it difficult to think long-term and to rest and reset as needed.

Today, we're exploring what, "Why bother?" really indicates for leaders. It serves as a sign of exhaustion, an overactive nervous system, or even reactivated trauma. Our guest encourages us to transform "Why bother?" from a stuck and cynical question into a productive inquiry that directs us towards what truly matters.

Jennifer Louden invites us to flip the script on “Why bother?” from cynical and stuck to a generative question to lead you toward what really matters to you.

Jennifer has been involved in the self-care movement for years. She authored the bestseller, The Woman’s Comfort Book in 1992 and has since written numerous books on well-being and creative living, including The Woman’s Retreat Book and Why Bother? She enjoys coaching writers and is currently working on a fantasy novel where older women use their power to buy humanity time from the climate crisis.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Why the “why bother” stage is a normal part of life, and how it presents an opportunity to reset
• How holding too tightly to an identity can keep us from seeing possibilities for change
• How exiling and not claiming what we want leads to “why bother”
• How taking action on the things that matter to us cultivates hope
• How accepting that some things in life are not fixable can liberate us to step into new possibilities
• How to begin cultivating a relationship with your desires

Learn more about Jennifer Louden:

• Website
• It's Not Too Late

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
• For All Mankind
• Wicked Little Letters
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show

How does curiosity show up in your life, work, and relationships?

Does your curiosity influence your strategy or planning? Or do you follow your curiosity to gain more knowledge or deepen your understanding of topics or viewpoints? Do you lean on curiosity to help you get to know someone better in ways that satisfy your interests or deepen your connection?

Do you keep following your curiosity even if it leads to uncomfortable or unknown places?

Our curiosity can reveal much about us, our interests, and our capacity for hope, discomfort, and imagination. But just as important is HOW we use our curiosity.

When we wield our curiosity to prove a point, we can cause division and harm. And when we use curiosity to honor others and our vulnerability, we can build the bridges necessary to cultivate the spaces we dream about and desire.

Today’s guest has combined his own lived experiences and research on curiosity and bridge-building into a powerful, nuanced book and set of practices on curiosity and how we use it in our relationships.

Scott Shigeoka believes curiosity has the power to transform your life and change the world. It's the key to connection, healing, and personal growth. It's a critical practice for your relationships, leadership, and life satisfaction. In his book, Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World, Scott teaches readers to strengthen their curiosity muscles with his signature DIVE method.

Scott has appeared on The Today Show, Harvard Business Review, NPR, The Guardian, and CNBC, and he has spoken at Google, Microsoft, Pixar, IDEO, Meta, Airbnb, and universities and schools around the world and teaches at The University of Texas at Austin.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Scott’s cross-country road trip showed in real-time that approaching fears with curiosity builds connection, understanding, and possibility
• The limits and boundaries to approaching others with curiosity in the moment
• Why we need to bring curiosity and humility when we catch our own biases
• How social and structural power dynamics influence how we balance curiosity, discomfort, and anger in a group
• Three key questions to ask yourself to identify if your curiosity about another person or situation is invasive or predatory
• How letting go of certainty opens up possibilities and allows for growth

Learn more about Scott Shigeoka:

• Website
• Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World
• Instagram: @scottshigeoka

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brené Brown
• The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece, Tom Hanks
• Billie Eilish - LUNCH
• Inside Out 2
• Beyoncé - RENAISSANCE

What is your relationship with your dreams?

Not your goals or visions for the future, but the actual dreams that appear when you sleep?

Deepening our understanding of our dreams is not just a trailhead, but a transformative journey to better understanding ourselves, what drives us, what limits us, and what impacts our choices and behaviors.

Today’s guest, Selden “Dee” Kelley, urges us to take the time to reflect on dreams so that we can better understand how our inner systems are processing our present and our past. He reminds us of the profound power of witnessing our subconscious burdens, a process that validates our experiences and our desire to be seen and heard.

Dee is a lifelong learner. He holds five degrees in religion, psychology, an MBA, and a PhD in Industrial Psychology and Organizational Development. He served 18 years as the Pastor of the First Church of the Nazarene in San Diego and held various leadership and administration positions before becoming a pastor.

He has a deep passion for helping others discover the rich guidance that dream work can provide for their journey toward health and wholeness, and helps people connect with the power of their dreams as a pathway toward new insight, better decision-making, and improved creative thinking.

Content Note: Dee draws heavily from Jungian male-female archetypes. I want to note that the discussion of gender expands across the spectrum and is not limited to the male-female binary.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Dee’s approach blends hypotheses of the biological functions of dreaming and uses them in service of greater self-awareness
• How every person’s dreams have an individual dialect
• Advice for beginning to remember and take note of your dreams
• Why specific interpretation can matter less than the reflections the interpretation leads to
• How paying attention to our dreams can help us embrace imaginative, nuanced thinking
• Differentiating between dream crushers and useful contrarian voices, in dreams and awake

Learn more about Dee Kelley:

• Website
• Instagram: @drdeedreamscoach

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email.

Resources:

• What Dreams May Come
• Inception